YOU PASSED!!!

As many of you know, David is an accountant and, for the past 3 years, has been preparing to take the CPA exam. He graduated with the first and only Telecommunications Business Management and Finance degree from our alma mater...being the first and only because of difficulty. He was the only student ever to graduate with that degree. After he graduated, they got rid of the program because it was too hard. (I have to brag a little...I'm so proud of him). About two years after we were married, and working in jobs that he wasn't 100% satisfied with, he decided to go back to school to get his accounting degree. So, for two years, he worked full-time and went to school at night to accomplish this. It was sheer misery. I hated it. He worked with a tax accounting firm two years...and anyone who is related to or friends with a tax accountant knows how not fun January 15-April 15 is. So, not only did he work 60-75 hours per week during that time, he went to night school. Yeah, didn't see much of him. He finally finished school, yay!, and began preparing for the CPA exam. It was pretty much like he was in tax season again. He studied on his lunch break. He studied every night as soon as he came home. He studied on the weekends. Boo.

Anyone who is related to or friends with knows how tough the CPA exam is. There are four parts to the exam and you have to pass all four parts. You have a year and a half to do it once you pass one of the sections. Well, of all times, David took the first section in January...two weeks after the babies were born. After waiting for an eternity, he finally got his score in...HE PASSED!! He told me whenever the letter came, to open it for him because he didn't want to do it. So, when I checked the mail about two weeks ago, I noticed a letter from The Certified Public Accounting Something Something, I ran inside. I held the letter in my hand and prayed over it. I knew God had given him the knowledge and ability to pass the test...I just knew he had passed it. I ripped it open and saw those big fat letters...PASS. And lower down, CREDIT RECEIVED for that particular section...The Business Something Something. I was half expecting confetti or some mini balloons to be in that envelope somewhere, seeing as how this was a huge deal. I did a fabulous little dance and called Mom on her cell phone because she was out in the neighborhood on her daily walk and told her. We tried to figure out a way to surprise him with the news. And I said, "I wish I could write on the girls somewhere that he passed without it being child abuse." And we thought and then I said, "Wait! We can't write on them, but we can write on diapers." So, I grabbed a Sharpie and Harper and this is what we did...

Yes, I use my children for my own amusement.

When he got home, we asked him to change her diaper, which he thought was weird because we were both completely unoccupied and equipped with our own two hands. But, nevertheless, being the sweetie that he is, he changed her. Well, Harper and Piper Lee have put on some poundage...mostly in their legs. So, her sweet chubby rolls covered up the "P" and the "ED" which is why I got this face from him...

He asked warily, "What does this say?"

I said, "What do you think it says?"

"Well, I'm hoping it doesn't say what I think it says."

"What?"

"What?"

I walked over and realized why he was puzzled. This is what he saw.

I quickly corrected that and said, "No! No! It says 'You Passed!'"

He asked, "Oooooooooooh.....wait, passed what?"

"The only thing you've been waiting to see if you passed, dummy."

Pause.

"I PASSED????!!!"

It was a pretty funny moment. Needless to say, he was very happy. One down. Three to go. Next test...May 6.

In other news...

Sucking in while standing on the scale doesn't make you weigh less.

The Baby Einstein Neptune Adventure octopus is, according to Harper, THE. FUNNIEST. THING. EVER. I don't know what it is about it, but by golly, that thing is funny. Its tentacles, its rattle, its big eyes and smile, its turquoise blue hue...huh-flipping-larious.

All hospital bills have been received and paid. We now officially own our children. Kids are 'spensive.

The girls are three months old today. Can't believe it. Has it gotten any easier? No. But, I will say, their bedtime routine is fabulous and I couldn't be more grateful. From 5:00 pm until 9:00 pm, it's complete and utter h - e - double hockey sticks. They hate that time of day. I now hate that time of day. We take turns eating our supper (should now be an Olympic sport called speed-eating), taking our baths, and bathing them (if it's bath day) while the other exists in a state of brain meltation - that's where the extreme decibel level of two babies screaming at the same time actually turns your brain to pile of mooshy goo. At 9:00 pm, oh blessed hour of the day, we turn off the lights and LOAD them up on formula. I mean, load. them. up. Now, they drink it...we don't force it, but they're pretty much drunk by the time it's over. And then...they sleep. No coaxing, no soothing...they do it on their own. We swaddle the mess out of those boogers, too. Everything people told me to get them to sleep better, we do. Lights out. Rain machine. Swaddling. Drunk on milk. Done. And those suckers sleep. For about 5 hours and 30-45 minutes. I couldn't ask for anything more. We feed them again around 2:30-2:45 am and then, to the minute, they wake up at 6:00 am...ready for the day. That part has gotten easier. Getting them to sleep that easily has been such a blessing. Daytime is another story, but we're working on it. The three of us (me and the twins) are going to counseling together to work out our issues...they're not talking to me right now, but they at least wave their arms in my direction. I now have three full-time jobs...graphic designer (my regular 40 hour per week job), daycare worker, and Mom. Someone told me awhile back that no one really understands what you're going through until they've been through it themselves. Oh, how true. I didn't realize how difficult all of it was until I had a baby...babies. It's really tough. I have good days. I have bad days. I cry. I laugh. I laugh at myself crying. I envy David some days because he gets to leave and sit at a desk in peace and quiet...I don't remember what quiet is like. I'd rather take a nap than see a movie or go shopping. I haven't had a haircut since July. Yep. But, in the morning, when I go to get those chubby babies out of the crib...I say, "Good moooorniiiinngggggg, little chubbers!" they smile at me and laugh their little hacking laugh and squinch their nose and eyes in delight...oh my word, it steals my heart. I laugh hysterically when my 13-pound innocent and perfect baby girls burp and fart like grown men. Monday was the first day they actually noticed each other and smiled and talked during Tummy Time...it was amazing. When Piper Lee snores like David and when Harper smiles so big in her sleep, I could just watch them for hours. They have dimples on their knuckles and elbows and knees and butts and they have fat build-up on their toes...I mean, could there be anything more precious. All of that and sooo much more, just like my grandmothers told me, makes all the "bad" stuff (which ends up not being all that bad) just completely go away and I am so thankful that I get to stay home with the girls...crying, MASSIVE poop diapers, hurting back, and all. I'm so sleepy all the time, but I keep reminding myself that one day, when the girls are singing, dancing twin celebrities and are filthy rich...they'll build me a house on the beach and I can sleep then.