What Would You Do If...
You got a visit from your favorite celebrity:
Seeing as how our favorite celebrity is Tom Colicchio, we'd say to him, "Tom...cutie patootie Tom...listen, we'd like some food...get to work."
You won 500 million dollars:
Well, after we paid around 40% for taxes, we would buy a guest house for Tom Colicchio, buy TV (like, all of it) so we could control what shows were aired and make the dumb ones go away, buy Chick-fil-A...and invest the rest.
You found a wallet on the ground:
Your date throws up on you:
Jerk, this is a new sweater...throw back up on him.
You witnessed a murder:
We'd call Dr. Temperance Brennan at the Jeffersonian to see what she would do.
You were stranded on an island with nothing but the ability to make one phone call:
Call Mom and Dad to send us some Banana Boat Tanning Oil...4...well, maybe 8.
Facebook and Myspace both shut down:
Who cares about MySpace...Facebook, impossible to shut down. Robots control it.
A random dude offered you candy:
Say, "What? What is this cheap stuff? It's not even real chocolate...it's 'chocolate-flavored'. Laaaaaaame. Go home, cheapo."
You lost your favorite thing in the world:
Well, since our favorite thing right now is the warm, dark recesses of Mom's internal organs...we'd say in a few months, we're gonna be pah-retty upset at everybody.
You got invited to be on a reality TV show:
We'd say, "We don't get out of bed for less than $100,000 a day. Eat that, producers."
You caught a friend stealing from you:
Slap her. And then hug her, because everybody makes mistakes. But then slowly phase her out.
Someone shaved off your eyebrows:
We have like 5 hairs on our eyebrows right now...you think we're concerned with that.
You got a phone call from the President:
We'd say, "Sup...you have a nice smile. Now go read this article that Brandi posted yesterday."
You had one wish:
Wish for more wishes...and don't say we can't do that. The last genie that told us that ended up being buried with his lamp in the back yard.