Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Jack Handey

I'm too busy today to write a real post...I'm doing stuff like Facebooking, downloading apps, Google Earthing where you live, napping, eating, napping again, making stuff with chocolate, feeding the two animals, feeding Blue and know, the norm. So, I'll just post some of my favorite Jack Handey quotes. Hey, at least I care enough to copy and paste.

I'm gone the rest of the week, but I'll be back Monday with pictures and stories and probably some pictures and maybe some stories. Hugs!

Why do people in ship mutinies always ask for "better treatment"? I'd ask for a pinball machine, because with all that rocking back and forth you'd probably be able to get a lot of free games.

The difference between a man and a boy is, a boy wants to grow up to be a fireman, but a man wants to grow up to be a giant monster fireman.

I hope some animal never bores a hole in my head and lays its eggs in my brain, because later you might think you're having a good idea but it's just eggs hatching.

As I bit into the nectarine, it had a crisp juiciness about it that was very pleasurable - until I realized it wasn't a nectarine at all, but A HUMAN HEAD!

If you saw two guys named Hambone and Flippy, which one would you think liked dolphins most? I'd say Flippy, wouldn't you? You'd be wrong though. It's Hambone.

I hope that someday we will be able to put away our fears and prejudices and just laugh at people.

Somebody told me it was frightening how much topsoil we are losing each year, but I told that story around the campfire and nobody got scared.

Consider the daffodil. And while you're doing that, I'll be over here, looking through your stuff.

I bet a fun thing would be to go way back in time to where there was going to be an eclipse and tell the cave men, "If I have come to destroy you, may the sun be blotted out from the sky." Just then the eclipse would start, and they'd probably try to kill you or something, but then you could explain about the rotation of the moon and all, and everyone would get a good laugh.

Whenever I see an old lady slip and fall on a wet sidewalk, my first instinct is to laugh. But then I think, what if I was an ant, and she fell on me. Then it wouldn't seem quite so funny.

When I was a kid my favorite relative was Uncle Caveman. After school we'd all go play in his cave, and every once in a while he would eat one of us. It wasn't until later that I found out that Uncle Caveman was a bear.

Laurie got offended that I used the word "puke." But to me, that's what her dinner tasted like.

Here's a good trick: Get a job as a judge at the Olympics. Then, if some guy sets a world record, pretend that you didn't see it and go, "Okay, is everybody ready to start now?".

Instead of studying for finals, what about just going to the Bahamas and catching some rays? Maybe you'll flunk, but you might have flunked anyway; that's my point.

Sometimes life seems like a dream, especially when I look down and see that I forgot to put on my pants.

A funny thing is if you're out hiking and your friend gets bit by a poisonous snake, tell him you're going for help, then go about ten feet and pretend YOU got bit by a snake. Then start an argument about who's going to get help. A lot of guys will start crying. That's why it makes you feel good when you tell them it was just a joke.

If a kid asks where rain comes from, I think a cute thing to tell him is "God is crying". And if he asks why God is crying, another cute thing to tell him is "Probably because of something you did".

I bet a funny thing about driving a car off a cliff is, while you're in midair, you still hit those brakes.

I can picture in my mind a world without war, a world without hate. And I can picture us attacking that world, because they'd never expect it.

On the other hand, you have different fingers.

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Wedding Weekend

It has been an exhausting past few days, this weekend included. But, it was a fun weekend. One of my dearest friends, Ashley, got married to sweetie pie Joney Pooh. Most people call him Jonas, though. She got engaged last year and I was incredibly honored she asked me to take her pictures. I stopped doing photography awhile back, but you can't say no to a dear friend and I knew this would be an awesome par-tay! I asked Sara to be the second photographer and, in her words, we were camera ninjas. We were unstoppable. I'm not sure how many pictures she took, but I took 1700. Oh my gosh. I don't even know how. I have a sickness. So, I'm narrowing those down a good bit. But here are a few I've gone through so far. I love weddings. And it was so much fun to get to be a part of my sweet friend's special day.

Agh, I've gotta Photoshop those lights out of the back.

Ugh, I want these shoes.

Hope you kids are having a blast in St. Maarten! I still don't understand why we couldn't all come.

Monday, July 26, 2010


You mock me with your bright, cheerful colors and circular-shaped spinny-ness. I wish I could punch you. Because, I would. I really would, you wheel of mayhem.

Friday, July 23, 2010

Friday Funny

Shane always has a way of putting things in perspective for you. Thanks, Shane, for keeping us all grounded.

Thursday, July 22, 2010

The Tutu Two

Every now and then, I take the girls out on the patio for some pictures. Here are some that we took this week.

Mommajoe got them the tutus. That's all I have to say about the tutus.

You can definitely tell their personalities even while taking their pictures. Harper is a ham. You put the camera in front of her and she'll give the biggest smiles or silliest faces or she'll stare off longingly into the sunset as though posing for her high school senior portraits. But Piper...well, Piper's been watching too much America's Next Top Model. She'll be smiling and laughing and you'll say, "Piper, look here!" and the second she looks, it's FIERCE EYES! Well, it's fierce eyes or drunk eyes. She only has two looks.

Harper Missouri

Piper Lee

Daddy comes home!!

I wanted pictures of them smiling together. They were completely disinterested in that idea.

I used everything I could think of. Jumping up and down. Screeching in a high-pitched, obnoxious voice, "Girls, girls!! Hey hey! Loooook!" Nothing worked.

Something's going on, sister...someone is opening the back door.

Daddy's home!!

PL was more interested in Harper's hand at the time.

But then, she noticed Daddy!

And then I wanted individual pictures of them smiling, so I told David to keep talking to them...Harper gives me this.

Piper Lee gives me FIERCE EYES.

While I was taking pictures of Piper, I felt something on my leg. I look down and...
I know if my other foot had been closer, she would have tied my shoelaces together.

Aw, sweet sisters holding hands. Nope. You can clearly see someone pinching someone else.