Monday, February 21, 2011

The Things We Say

So, you know how everybody has their things they always say...a word, a phrase, even a hand motion or utterance. Some are funny, some drive you crazy. I know I have a lot. I say "Awesome or Awes" a lot. Also, "Psssh, whatevs," and "Laaaaaaame." Since about 80% of my daily interactions are through a computer, I "say" a lot of the same stuff through it. I "haha" at the beginning of almost every sentence. Sometimes at the end, haha. That's my version of a chuckle. Well, I guess that's anybody's version of a chuckle, as opposed to LOL. I use too many exclamation marks!! I start almost every paragraph with "so." I say "anyways" way too much...I don't even think that's a real word. And then there's my ellipses...I do love those. Anyways.

David has his little phrases and words he uses all the time. When we first got married, if he was asking me if I was ready, he would say, "You red-eye?" I usually would roll my eyes, sigh, and say, "Yes, I'm RED-EE." He'd laugh and we'd head out the door. One day, I had heard enough of "red-eye" and was like, "Okay, seriously, stop." (I also say "seriously" a lot.) So, he stopped. He does it EVERY now and then just to get me to give him a look. Now, his new word is "Mammy." Everything is, "Harper, go give your Mammy a hug," or "Piper Lee, go see if Mammy is hungry." Drives. Me. Insane. I have no idea why.

A friend growing up, her name was Dana, would always (and I mean ALWAYS) come up behind you and give you two squeezes with her hands on your shoulders. Say, you hadn't seen her in two weeks and you were reaching out for a hug...nope, she'd side-step you and slip her hands on each side of your neck...squeeze squeeze. WHAT THE MESS, DANA?! Weirdo.

My best friend growing up, Ashley, would always tuck one foot around the back of the other leg and rest it on top of her other foot. Crazy, right? We called her Tripod, because she was so small and slender and could fold herself up into the tightest little places. When we'd go on youth trips, we'd see how small of a suitcase she could fit into. But, she'd always stand there with her feet like that.

Growing up, and still now, we heard a lot of the same phrases in our house. You remember way back in 1999 and 2000, the phrase was "Your Momma." It killed every time and then it got super dumb. Well, Peter didn't catch onto the Your Momma Phase until about 4 years ago and for what seemed like forever, everything was "Yo Momma."

Like, "Hey, Pete, why are you wearing a sweater in June?"

"Yo Momma."

And it wasn't the cool way to say it now...under your breath like, "Yeah, well, that's what your mom says." He always said "Yo Momma" very articulately and we're like, "Pete, no, stop...we're trying to help you."

Sara and Noah never really had any phrases I don't think. (whisper...they weren't really smart enough.) The only things they repeatedly say is "Gyaaaah," which they stole from me. Oh, and Sara got on a "Smack that!" kick. She says she's always said it and it was like a cool phrase for awhile, but none of us remember it.

i.e. "I just won the hotdog eating competition. Smack that!"

Dad rarely speaks so he doesn't have any phrases...just his silent little giggle.

Mom is the phrase queen. For as long as I can remember, her #1 go-to phrase is, "That's the real world." She has variations, too. "Back to reality," "Welcome to the real world," etc.

Example...we'd be on vacation in a beautiful beach house somewhere, just arriving and checking out the place and Mom would sit down in a chair and sigh, "Ahhh, I don't want to go back home. But that's the real world. Seven days at the beach and then back to reality, kids." When we got old enough to be "adults" and get to say things back to Mom like, "Shut it," we did. (Although we are still very respectful of our matriarch.) But up until then, we had to say, "Mooooooom...stop! You're ruining it!" "That's life!" The week before we started back school, at least 18 times a day, she would say, "Enjoy the week kids, because come Monday, it's back to reality."

Another of Mom's phrases, or I guess words, is "creamed." When we all first started driving, it was always, "Drive the speed limit, always watch around you, use your blinkers, or you're going to get creamed." "David, we shouldn't have gotten Sara this small car. If she gets hit by an 18-wheeler, she'll get creamed." It was always "creamed." Why not "smashed" or how about just "hit"?

We taught her how to properly use "That's what she said," and now she's a monster. And we have no one to blame but ourselves. She gets us ALL the time.

One of her more common phrases is "I'm starting my diet on Monday." We heard that every Friday for 2o-something years.

Her favorite thing to do is, if she's eating something really delicious, is go "Mmmmm...mmm mmm mmm mmm MMMMM!" like Bob on What About Bob. And it's fine to do that at home, it's funny. But not super cool in a restaurant, Mom.

I think it's awesome possum that everybody has their little phrases or weird things about them. It makes us uni-qway. Ugh, that's another one Mom does. She think it's fun to change it's not's tur-qwah. Oh, Mom.


  1. My Dad always says, "Life's hard on you when you're stupid." Thanks Dad, like we didn't figure that out. Now I feel I should tell you that my parents are actually very loving and understanding parents (most of the time). My three year old has started mumbling under his breath "Good grief" and "Oh brother". Which I try to be like all mommish and say "Excuse me I know you're not talking back to me". But I'm usually cracking up so it's not very effective.

  2. i almost bought a turqwah purse yesterday! might still go back and get it because it is large enough to cream someone with. and with reality being what it is sometimes, that might be a good cream someone with a large turqwah purse!


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