Thoughts from an Accountant

Pre-word: I, Ruth, have gone behind and added my own comments...in blue, if you will.

First off, since you can't tell from my tone of voice, I feel that it is my duty to inform you that this is not Ruth. It's her husband. Of course, the title should have clued you in on the fact that I would be having SOME input in this since Accounting is definitely my thing, and not Ruth's. (And thanks for that.) With that cleared up, I will explain the events that led to my posting in her place.

First (I started my FIRST paragraph with the same word as the FIRST word of this paragraph, which is fitting since this would also be my FIRST post ever... I know, it is apparent), my wife was not feeling well this weekend, so she did not have an opportunity to write anything. I'm not exactly sure how a doctor would describe her symptoms (nausea, chills, aches, sore throat, headache, fever), but I would have to say they were flu-ish-like. In short, I had an opportunity to see what she does every day of the week, whilst I'm away at work, and I must say, she's incredible. (Aw, shucks, baby!) Of course, you are fully aware of this already, but to be even more impressed, I am actually a husband who has SEEN what his wife does on a daily basis, and I must say that Ruth is definitely my hero. (Well, you're mine and I couldn't do any of it without you.)

That being said, I also had an opportunity to see what it is like to spend time with my daughters and it be just the three of us, and I have to say that being a father is awesome. To be clear, this was definitely NOT the first time that I've spent time with my children. I'm here every day and I'm here every weekend, but this is actually the first time that from Friday night to Sunday afternoon that I was completely, 100% on my own with them. Yes, you are correct in thinking I was probably a little scared. But like any "man" (I put that in quotations because I'm not exactly a lion tamer (yes, you are...mrrreow! scratch! whoop pow!)... I mean I'm an accountant, so I felt that I could, at best, claim a qualified title of man), I figured that if my wife could do this day in and day out, I could, too. (Ha ha... I know what you're thinking, and you're right... I didn't have a clue).

But first, let me go back and explain the story from the beginning. On Friday night, Ruthie and I made dinner (delicious, as always) and continued our normal weekly routine. This usually consists of all of the DVR'd shows from the week that we simply didn't have time to watch earlier. Part of the way through this, Ruth started to get this look on her face that made it apparent that she was not feeling 100%. (My I-want-t0-vomit face) She was continuing her decline till finally I had to ask why she looked so bad. Now, in hindsight, I probably could have phrased this better. From her side, I'm sure this came across pretty harshly, when in fact, I was just concerned about her. However, to be clear, I am an accountant and numbers are what I'm most comfortable with. Words... not good with them... me... not good. (Great use of ellipses...so proud!) After a quick explanation of what I had MEANT as opposed to the WORDS I used, we realized that she had finally come down with something after taking care of our girls for so long while they were sick. (Or from Zack's "I'm totally not contagious" illness last weekend) So, she went on to bed and I made the claim, as any proud "man" (mreow) would, that I would take care of the girls this weekend while she could rest and get well and that I would take care of everything and she had nothing to worry about. (Such a wonderful guy...)

Now, I couldn't possibly chronicle all of the events of this weekend. However, I will let you know about some of the things I learned and gained a deeper appreciation for:

1) 13 1/2 month old twins are difficult to feed. (That's why I look disgusting when you come home.) This was certainly not a new revelation to me, but I'm not talking about a single meal. I mean, I was responsible for sustaining these two little girls the whole weekend and I was having some serious concerns for whether they would make it or not.

2) 13 1/2 month old twins are a LOT faster than you'd expect. I felt like I was trying to watch after a bunch of "Flashes" (this is a reference to a DC superhero... the Flash, aka Jay Garrick, Barry Allen, Bart Allen, etc... the Flash). (nerd)

3) 13 1/2 month old twins have teeth. They use them well. They leave marks. It hurts when they get you. And there's no warning. You're just holding this adorable child, she lays her head on your shoulder, and then her mouth clamps onto your arm. It HURTS. (Unexpected bruises... EXPLAINED.)

4) 13 1/2 month old twins don't actually want to take naps. I mean, I'm staring at them and THEY ARE TIRED, and they don't want to take a nap. I thought I'd take the opportunity to explain the irony that you spend the first years of your life fighting sleep and then spending the rest of it wishing you had more time TO sleep. (If only we knew that then...)

5) 13 1/2 month old twins have ways of letting you know that things are not up to their standards. I gave the girls their bottles right before their nap time. I put them in their beds and left them to the nap process. I come back a few seconds later and I see Harper's bottle in the middle of the floor. I look over a Piper Lee, and she's holding the bottle over the edge of the crib and while maintaining eye contact with me, she drops the bottle onto the floor as if to say. Don't come back till the bottles are the right temperature. (Picky eaters...not unlike SOME people I know...)

6) 13 1/2 month old twins find the strangest things to be entertained by. We have spent money on toys. Toys have taken over the house. We have every kind of toy you can imagine, and the number one thing they got upset over was the empty Aquaphor tub. Seriously, they would be ready to scream at each other because they each want to play with it. But it's an empty plastic container. It's not even the real brand either. It's the generic brand.

7) 13 1/2 month old twins have the best laughs. And I can't believe the faces and actions I was making in an attempt to hear their laughs one more time. (It's funny how low you will degrade yourself just to get one more laugh, isn't it?)

8) 13 1/2 month old twins give the best hugs. There's something about having your daughters run up to you with these huge smiles on their faces and YOU are the one those smiles are for. It's both humbling that God would allow me to receive something like that and priceless because you couldn't buy that kind of moment. (Aw...you make me cry.)

9) 13 1/2 month old twins are very good showing you just how much you should appreciate your wife. I seriously don't know how Ruth manages these two every day. I'm worn out.

Also, I figured since I was an accountant and all, I should give you some numbers:

19 - the number of times I was bitten this weekend (not an exaggeration, I actually counted).

7 - the number of bite marks that were left behind from the previously referenced bites.

3 - the number of times I was bitten while cleaning their teeth (that whole "Charlie bit me" video that I used to laugh at... not anymore... it hurts).

2 - the number of amazing, beautiful, happy, smiling, perfect daughters God blessed me with.

1 - the number of people, in my opinion, who could do this job every single day and somehow be a devoted mother, wife, friend, and blogger (because that's why I'm writing this in the first place -- there, i said the word FIRST again), and that is Ruth. (Aw...you make me cry again!)

I learned a lot this weekend. I had a great time with my girls. I'm thankful that I had the opportunity to spend so much time with them, and I'm thankful that if Ruth had to get sick, it was a time that I could be here to help her.

So, to sum up, Ruth was sick. I took care of the girls. They wore me out. Ruth got better, and now I'm going to bed because I can barely think straight to finish this post.

(You're the best, sweetie...I'm glad you're stuck with me.)