They Call Me...Eagle Eye

It's an ironic nickname and, actually, only one person in the world calls me that...Miz Di. (Her name is Diane, but we've always called her Miz Di.) It's ironic because I have horrible vision. I wear contacts (or glasses at night/when nobody can see me) and I can see totally fine, thank goodness. But, I take out my contacts and I can find my way through the house, but I'd have to hold up paper an inch from my face to read a 30 point font.

I got the nickname many, many years ago. I can't remember how old I was, but I'm going to guess somewhere between 8 and 10. My best friend, Michaelyn, was over at my house playing. Michaelyn's family were neighbors. Where we lived as kids (and where my parents still live), having a neighbor meant someone within 2 miles of your house. It's not like the neighbors where I live now and you walk out to check the mail and a million people are staring and waving to you. Bah, humbug!

Michaelyn or I would ride our bikes to each other's houses to visit. Michaelyn had an older sister who was Sara's age and they hung out a lot, too. Her name was Mandy. My favorite memory of Mandy is when we were all four jumping on the trampoline and...you have to remember, that back then, there weren't any sissy spring bumpers or pansy safety nets. These were real trampolines. They helped shape us into who we are as adults. Always living on the edge. Today's trampolines are so "safe". Although, I'm very thankful for that because I can't imagine my crazy kids on a "real" trampoline. So, we were jumping and I don't know how it happened, but Mandy FLEW off into the woods. It was literally like watching someone throw a heap of cats into pile of leaves...legs and arms flying everywhere. But, she was on her feet in a second, holding her head, saying, "Ooooh, my brainssssss."

Another thing you should know about Michaelyn and Mandy is that their dad's name was Michael, but he went by Mike. They had a younger brother named Mikey. And an even younger brother named Bryan. Bryan? I mean, a great name, but I think we lost sight of the theme here, guys. And I am praying to God that Mandy doesn't read this. Mandy, if you so happen to stumble upon this, please know you guys were some of the best friends Sara and I had. Not a lot of kids would be friends with us (mainly Sara...I was super popular) and we so appreciate it. You guys were, and are, awesome. I hope we get to see each other again soon! I just...well, I always wondered about "Bryan".

ANYWAYS...my thin and extremely tall friend, Michaelyn, was over at the house playing. We were probably playing with my model horses. She loved horses as much as I did. OH! That reminds me of another M, M, M, and Bryan story! Short one, I promise. Sara and I rode our bikes over to their house one time and there was a horse...A HORSE...standing in their front yard. We stood in awe and jealousy for a moment before one of the family opened the door. They answered our silence and dropped jaws, "Oh yeah! So, this horse just walked up in the yard. We're trying to find the owners now." WHAT?!?! A horse just WALKED up into your yard?!? Okay...number one, WHY DOES NOTHING LIKE THAT EVER HAPPEN TO ME?! and number two, don't find the owners. KEEP IT! I never get that lucky.

Okay, for real this time...Michaelyn and I were playing with my horses–the small, fake ones–when the phone rings. I hear some murmurings through the wall and then Mom comes into my room.

"Girls, y'all want to go to Miz Di's house and help her find a diamond earring?"

"Uh...sure?"

We loaded into the car and drove the 2 miles to Miz Di's house. We arrive and find out that Miz Di had been outside talking on the phone and when she got back in, she realized her diamond stud had fallen out. She searched and searched to no avail. She called for back-up. Two 8 to 10 year olds and a lady more blind than she was. If you're a guy, you have to understand that a girls' diamond studs are priceless. It doesn't matter if they're 1/16 of a carat or 5 carats. Her diamond studs are the staple of her jewelry armoire. It's a sin to lose one. Miz Di showed us the area where she thought it might have fallen out and promised, "If you girls find this earring, I've got some ice cream Snickers waiting inside." Well, I knew Miz Di and we were gonna get those Snickers regardless, but I was determined to earn it. The ice cream variety had JUST come out, so it was a big deal and I had only heard stories of their wondrousness. I would have one that day and it would be glorious.

Mom and Miz Di went back inside the house, leaving Michaelyn and I standing in the grass. You know what, now that I think about it, those two old gals never even helped us. Hmmmph. I see how it is. Whatever. I knew we would find it. We got down to our knees and started slowly and meticulously picking through the blades of grass. We had been looking for about 3 minutes and then I had this feeling. If you've ever been to any church camp or conference, you've probably taken a spiritual gifts test. It's not to TELL you what gifts you have, but to kind of give you an idea of what your strengths are. They're very helpful. The one I always score highest in is prophecy. No, no, I can't tell the future...but I kinda can. (Seriously, I'm joking...prophecy is like having an intuition about things. That sounds arrogant, and I can't explain it well, but it's like I have a feeling about things. Ah, that still sounds crystal ball-ish. I'm sorry. I hope I'm not confusing anyone. I'm just saying I can see into the future. AH NO! Just Google it.)

As I was kneeling, I KNEW I was about to find that earring. I just KNEW it. I looked to my right and saw a little indention in the grass. I didn't see the earring, but I knew it was in that little hole. I peeled back two blades and, sparkling and smiling, there was the diamond stud. I held it up for Michaelyn and said, "Found it. Let's go get our our ice cream."

We walked into the house, earring in my closed palm, and I presented the earring to Miz Di and Mom. They both proceeded to scream and jump up and down. "Calm down, ladies, and show me to the freezer." Miz Di produced two Snickers ice cream bars and Michaelyn and I sat and immensely enjoyed the rewards of our labor. From that day on, Miz Di has called me Eagle Eye. She also calls me Izzy.

And I still love ice cream Snickers.

Need something found? Give me a call. (*wink...putting my shades on, slowly walking away with a little swagger..."Eagle Eye" fading across the screen*). Except, don't really, because I'm blind as a bat.

Meh meh meh batsaren'treallyblind meh meh meh...I know, science nerds.