Twin Translation

Kids are hard to understand. Unless it's your own kid, you really can't make out what one is saying. And some kids never grow out of it. Like Sara...she's 31 and I can barely understand what she's talking about..."Blah bleeh boo bah hehe." Kids should come with Starfleet regulation universal translators. You try to find key words and figure out what they're asking, but I usually have to look at their parents like, "Your kid's jabbering on about something...can you help?"

When the girls were about 6 months old, their pediatrician asked us what kind of sounds/babblings they were making. They were pretty much right on track for most everything, but Dr. Reminds then told us to not be surprised if their speech developed a little later than other kids their age when they got a little older. He explained that a lot of kids either developed their motor skills or their speech skills earlier than the other. The girls were very physically active early on, but fairly quiet. He also said that a lot of times, twins begin talking after their singleton counterparts because #1, the parents were too tired to talk to them and #2, they had each other to talk to and with whom to develop a language, so why bother with the adults. We figured they'd talk when they were ready. One day, they were ready.

It wasn't 100% English. And it wasn't 100% human. But, we slowly learned to decipher it. Here's a few conversations we have.

Piper Lee/Harper: Mama!!

Ruth: Good morning, babies!! Did you sleep good?

PL/H: Aw Mama. Celeah!

Ruth: Alrighty. What kind of cereal do you want?

PL/H: Bloo, lallow, ahnge, pink, wed, pupple, greeyah! Oooo's!

Ruth: Fruity Cheerios it is.

PL/H: MALK!

Ruth: And some milk.

PL/H: Meekah Souh!

Ruth: You want to watch Mickey Mouse?

PL/H: SQUEEEE!

(inserting Mickey Mouse DVD)

Piper Lee: No! Waddle Waddle!

Ruth: No, let's not watch Happy Feet. Sister is afraid of the old penguin.

Piper Lee: Harebares!

Ruth: No, we're not gonna watch Care Bears. Sister is afraid of the mean tree.

Piper Lee: Reelaph.

Ruth: We can't watch Rudolph. Sister is afraid of Abominable Snowman.

Piper Lee: Man, sister is a pansy.

Ruth: I know.

Piper Lee: Weelah Pooh.

Ruth: You guys just watched Winnie the Pooh yesterday.

Piper Lee: Meekah Souh!

Ruth: Mickey Mouse it is!

Harper: Oh no!! Sissy! Sissy! Black oooh oooh ah ah eeeh eeeh ooh couch! Oh no!!

Ruth: Sister's pet gorilla is stuck under the couch?

Harper: Yes.

Piper Lee: Ahnge fwoot.

Ruth: You want an orange?

Piper Lee: Yes, pwease.

Ruth: You know, it's just called an orange. You can just say "orange."

Piper Lee: Fwoot.

PL/H: Dipee. Dipee. Pwease.

Ruth: Y'all want some new diapers?

PL/H: Pwease.

Ruth: Well, go pick out which ones you want.

Piper Lee: Wed! Melmo!

Ruth: You want Elmo. Yes, he is red.

Harper: Lallow! Beebee! Tweet Tweet!

Ruth: You want Big Bird. Yes, he is yellow.

Piper Lee: Oooooh NOOOooo! Mama baby mooooo go bye bye raaaawwrrrr (licking lips) yum yum yum aaaahhh (satisfying sigh).

Ruth: The baby cow got eaten by the lion. Aw, that's sad.

Piper Lee: Mooooo gone bye bye.

Harper: (SQUEAL!!) NO! MAMA SISSY RAWRRR!

Ruth: Sister took the lion from you to reenact gruesome feedings by the wild cats of the African savannah?

Ruth: Piper Lee. Will you share some of those M&Ms with Mama?

Piper Lee: (cramming every last one in her face) Aw...choclah gone bye bye Pi's mouf.

Harper: Uh oh! Top belocks! Top belocks! Top top top! Belocks!

Ruth: Calm down...you put too many blocks in the box. That's why the top won't close.

PL/H: Mama phone tweet tweet peenoh chomp chomp mow?

Ruth: You want my phone so you can play Angry Birds, Virtuoso, Water, and Hungry Cat?

PL/H: Yes.

Sadly, they have higher scores than me.