A Smattering, If You Will

This is another one of those posts where I haven't had time to formulate a real post, so here are several mini-ones...

I totally forgot to add something to Tuesday's posts. David and I have purple belts in Shotokan karate. No, I don't pronounce it "kah-rah-tay." I punch people who do. Well, I would, except Sensei told us not to. Purple belts...yes...and we are not afraid to use them. Seriously, those things can give you nasty polyester burns. During one of the katas, you have to yell something. It can be anything you want. Some people in our class yelled "ICE!" Stupid. Some yelled "HOROH!" Lame. I stepped out of the box and got in touch with my inner samurai. I yelled something no one doing karate has ever yelled..."HI-YAH!" It's pretty terrifying. 

When I was pregnant with the girls, my hair grew SO fast. I had to get it cut every 8 hours. I was Rapunzel. That also meant shaving my legs was more dumb than ever. I had a 5 o'clock shadow before I even woke up. This time around, I think my hair is going in reverse. It's WONDERFUL. I shaved my legs 3 days ago and they're still smooth as noodles. 

*Spoiler Alert - Don't read if you haven't seen this week's New Girl yet.

Okay, really, Hollywood...you would have us believe that somebody would ever break up with Dermot Mulroney? Really? I mean...REALLY. (Mom, he's a silver fox...just Google him.) I mean, the show is stills awesome as ever, but that was just silly to me. 

The girls have started this new thing where they copy the way you're talking. Not the words, but the inflection and tone. Like, if PL falls down and you scoop her up to comfort her..."Aw, Piper Lee, are you okay? Did that hurt, sweet girl?" She'll look so deeply into your eyes and say, "Awww boo boo bee boo Momma awwwww." And I'm thinking, "Okay, are you mocking me or just mimicking me?" I don't know what to think about it. 

Harper can sing the ABCs all the way through now and even the little ending. The ending is more like, "Now I ABC...tahl me whaaaat me!" She screams it at the top of her lungs while on the trampoline. But the second I get out a video camera or iPad, it's like, "Oh, what, little ole me? I'm not your performing monkey, Mom."

Also, they're terrified of dandelions. 

Ruth Did What??

Whoa whoa whoa...they changed Blogger. Well, at least the look of where you write the posts. Weird. But, it looks nice. See?

Huh, I gotta get used to it. A little warning next time, Internet. 

David and I were laughing the other day about stuff we've done in our lifetimes that seemed normal at the time, but now is like, "What?" I thought I'd share some of those things with you. 

During our summer trips to Jamaica to work in the medical clinics, we saw a lot of things. A. LOT. OF. THINGS. I held a little girl's head still and talked to her while a doctor pulled out a 2" parasitic worm that had bored itself into her scalp. (Mom, don't read this.) Sara and I also cleaned up a vomit spill after a little boy got sick in the waiting room...he had had worms in her stomach that were still wiggling around on the floor. That may be why vomit doesn't bother me so much. That's not even half of it, but it only gets grosser and Mom's just gonna continue to read.

My dad pierced mine and Sara's ears. Why go to Claire's when your dad can numb you up with Xylocaine and then pop a sapphire stud through your lobe? 

I was in the marching band my freshman year in college. Oh yes, I was. Never in a marching band before. Why was I in it? Because David was in it. And when you're 17 and in love, you do whatever you have to stay with him as much as you can...kind of like a crazy person. It came with a small scholarship. They wanted me to play the quads, but I tried them on and they were too heavy. So...I played the cymbals. What? Shut up! You don't know! THE CYMBALS ARE THE BEST PART! *craaaaaaaasssshhhhhh* It was actually a lot of fun. 

I was also a music minor. I don't sing. So, why? Because, at the time, David was a music major and that way, I could have some classes with him in addition to the core classes. YES, I WAS INSANE BACK THEN. My plan backfired, because David changed his major and I was halfway through my minor, so it was either have wasted all that money and time or just finish it. And I never quit. I worked my fanny off. #1. Music theory and ear training is hard. #2. If you know me at all, you know that I DO NOT sing in front of people and I had to do a lot of that. So, this was quite a challenge for me, but I'm very glad I did it as it has helped shape me to become the rock star that I am today. And no, ear training is not where you train your ears to sit and stay, MOM. You have to hear two notes and determine what they are and their intervals. I had to play a lot of piano. I had to sing, BY MYSELF, in front of a group of professors twice a year. If you only knew how much my pits and lower back and knees and boobs were sweating during that torturous 30 minutes. I think they felt sorry for me because all A's, suckahs! 

I never once skipped a class in college. Believe me, I wanted to. But, I couldn't do it. It may have been my parents' voices in the back of my head or because I'm OCD and the one time I missed class would be the day they gave the attendees some huge advantage on the final. 

I used to cut my own hair all the time. Up until a few years ago, actually. I'm not talking about the occasional trim here and there. I'm talking about full-out shearings. In college, (man, I was a weirdo in college) my roommate helped me shave my head to 2 inches. Halle Berry short. It wasn't my favorite cut ever, but it grew out and I loved the in-between length, so it was worth it. 

I bought a pair of multi-colored patchwork jeans a few years ago (okay fine, in college) after seeing a friend wearing some. She was one of those people that could pull off anything. I hated her. I thought, "Oooh, cute! I should get some!" I looked like a female scarecrow. $17 straight down the drain. 

I had a ton more, but the girls are screaming, "Yellow fish! Yellow fish! Yellow fish!" and if I don't find that stupid yellow fish, the world is going to end, so... you guys behave today. 

Random Friday

It's Friday, you guys. That means...it's Friday. And we can sleep tomorrow.

Last weekend at the beach was wonderful. So perfect. The weather could not have been more gorgeous and the water was pristine. I literally spent half of Friday and most of Saturday just sitting in my chair, watching the water. I brought a book and two magazines to read, never touched any of them. It was nice to just sit and not think, not do anything. At one point, two very chatty women with a toddler and baby that could not have been more than 3 days old pulled up near me. I hiked a good ways down the beach to find a stretch that was all alone and quiet. It was a sparse weekend anyway, but I'm talking sheer solitude. I was there for maybe 10 minutes when the family showed up. And they were sweet and just talking and the kids were actually really quiet, but the mom (the other lady was the grandmother) was SO LOUD. She had this piercing voice. And she was talking in the worst kind of baby talk to the baby and had this hyena-ish laugh. And I know I sound like such a snot when I say I got up and moved, but y'all...#1. you had to hear her and #2. I didn't go down to the beach to sit right next to that for a day. So, I got up and moved. But, I was smooth about it so they wouldn't know I was moving because of them. As I was packing my chair up, more of their group came with 6 other kids, so I feel like I made a pretty good decision. I'm only like that on vacation, I swear. And in our neighborhood.

I was looking online the other day for some maternity shorts. I have plenty of jeans, but only one pair of shorts and they're way too big right now. Did you know they sell maternity underwear? It looks remarkably like regular underwear, but it's more expensive. So, it must help deliver your baby somehow. They also have maternity socks. Says they "grow with your expanding extremities", but really that's not something you should say on a maternity website and also, don't regular socks have a little give to them, too?

I got some kiwis at Publix the other day. Publix is 'spensive, but good golly, that's the only place to get your produce from...unless you go to the farmer's market. Kiwis and I have a love/hate relationship. They're BEAUTIFUL fruit. I mean, really. The color is so pretty and I love the contrast of the black seeds. Wow, I've watched too much Food Network. I usually make fun of people who talk like that. But, you go through all this work to peel the furry little covering and it's CRAZY TART. I mean, will knock your socks off. Then, sometimes, you get a really sweet one and it's like, "Man, it was all worth it." The ones I got from Publix...they were all worth it. I want to paint a wall like a kiwi. A pretty green hue with black spots. That would...not look good. Nevermind.

Did y'all know that Lando Calrissian works at the USPS store?

I've had Draw Something on my phone for awhile now, but never played until this week. And now I can't stop. I thought it was a game you had to sit and play for awhile like Pictionary. And it is like Pictionary, but you can play the turns whenever you get a chance. And it is SO much fun. I can't tell you how much I've laughed at some drawings I've done and received. And you have such a small space to work with, so you have to be extra creative. Such a good game. If you're bored and want to play, I'm RuthieT333.

And thus ends the most random blog post of all time.

Life with Red Ruth: To Cut or Not To Cut

I felt like this scenario would be better expressed written out as opposed to illustrated.

Ruth: Ugh.

David:What is it?

Ruth: My hair. What should I do with it? Keep it long or cut it?

David: It's your hair. You do whatever you want with it.

Ruth: But, I want you to tell me what to do.

David: Well, you know I'm not gonna do that. I like your hair every way you've done it.

Ruth: But what's your favorite?

David: I like them all equally.

Ruth: It's just so long and it's getting hot and all I ever do is wear it in a ponytail and it takes forever to fix.

David: Then cut it.

Ruth: So, you do want me to cut it?

David: That's not what I said.

Ruth: But, if I cut it before the baby is born, then I'll be huge and have this oddly small head because my thick hair balances me out.

David: Then leave it long.

Ruth: So, you're saying I should leave it long to cover up the fact I've inflated to gargantuan proportions?

David: That is not--

Ruth: What if I cut it like Jennifer Anniston did when she cut it short on Friends?

David: That's a cute cut. You've had it like that before and it looked great. You do what you want, though.

Ruth: So, you like it?

David: Yeah, it's really pretty.

Ruth: So, you think Jennifer Anniston is pretty?

David: Okay, that's just ridiculous. I said the haircut was pretty.

Ruth: So, you think she's ugly? Because she's prettier than me, so if you think Jennifer Anniston is ugly, then you must think I'm a troll.

David: RUTH! You are being crazy!!

Ruth: (sob sob sob) My husband thinks I'm crazy...

David: I don't even know what to say to you right now.

Ruth: Tell me how to cut my hair!!!!!!

David: YOUR HAIR LOOKS GREAT HOWEVER YOU DO IT!

Ruth: What if I just cut some bangs?

David: Want me to make you some brownies?

Ruth: OOOOOH BROWNIES!!

Big Catch Up!

Whew, you guys...this week. The girls are with David's parents this week and I was off on Monday, but I think I've been busier the past few days than I have been with the girls at home with me the entire month of March put together. But, a good busy...we've been very productive.

Last Saturday morning, we packed up...

and drove on south to stay the night with my parents. We had a wonderful visit with family. I always get a little homesick around Easter, so it was nice to be "home." Of course, I forgot my camera and only had my phone, but Dad took a bunch of good ones that I'll get from him later.

Then, we headed outside to hunt eggs. This is the girls' new favorite pastime. Oh my word, I never thought a kid could love hunting eggs so much.

Those bushes in front of them are sticky bushes. Guess who hid the eggs? Dad and David. Guess who put eggs in the sticky bushes? Dad and David. What...I mean, what?? Who does that? Sara hid them there for me when I was little, but that was different. Sisters are supposed to do that. Not Dads and Grandads. Sheesh.

Chubby elbows own me.

No, we didn't put any in the pool. Although...that's not a bad idea for next year......

We got all doozied up Sunday morning for church and went outside to take some pictures. Yeah, they weren't having any of it. This is the only one of them smiling and it's because we bounced them up in the air.

But Dad has some good ones he took after church.

Mmmmmm, honeysuckle.

Making sure Kangaroo is okay.

Sunday afternoon, we headed over to David's parents' house for a visit. The girls adore GranJan and Papa. And we got to visit with Laura Grace and baby Tinsley, too! The girls call her "Baby Tinley", so pretty close. They LOVE her. Harper especially. She just pats her so gently and wants to hold her all the time. It's hilarious and so sweet.

Then, David and I told the girls "bye bye", who promptly told us "Bye, Momma...bye, Daddy, " turned and went back to playing without a hint of sadness. Hurt a little, but so glad they're cool kids and aren't clingy. We headed home in the car, by ourselves, in the deafening silence. FREEDOM!!!!! Of course, when we got 5 minutes down the road, we talked about the girls the rest of the way home.

I miss them, but this week has been very very nice. I really needed it.

Monday was Sibling Appreciation Day. Don't worry, I didn't know about it either. Sara chatted me to let me know.

Yesterday morning, I had my 14-week check-up with Dr. Mac. No ultrasound this time. I was a little spoiled because I got an ultrasound at almost every appointment with the girls. I think I'll only have two more with this one. But, we got to hear the heartbeat, which was fun. This one's is a little slower than the girls, but I still think the girls' were fast because they were always all up in each other's space. Who knows. Dr. Mac said I'm measuring great and I can wait 5 weeks until my next appointment. We decided to find out the gender, so that'll be the big appointment! I've been taking weekly pictures like I did with the girls, but some of the weekly changes aren't super drastic and they're boring, so I'll just post the 4-week picture and the 14-week picture. Seriously, a picture taken in the morning versus a picture taken at night can differ as drastically as a 2 month pregnant woman and an 8 month pregnant woman. It's amazing how a glass of water can puff you up. What I'm saying is...the 14-week picture was taken in the morning, but by that night, I was about 3 inches further out.

4 Weeks

14 Weeks

Monday, I had the day off, so I painted. I haven't painted in AGES. I'm not great, but it's so therapeutic, especially when it's something you want to paint and you're doing it for yourself. The weather has been crazy beautiful all week long, so I sat out on the patio. No music, no phone. It was so nice.

I didn't have a canvas, so I got some leftover wood in the garage and covered it with newsprint paper and ModPodge. I got a match and burned some places on the paper just to give it some more texture.

I didn't have any white paint either...I know, right, not even craft paint...so I used some gesso primer leftover from college. I'm surprised it hadn't dried up. I use a palette knife instead of a brush.

Then, I used watercolor paints for the color.

Then, I used some charcoal and stubs to give it some depth.

David drilled two holes in the top and I put a ribbon through them for hanging it. It was nice to just do something normal for a few hours, you know. And then I went back inside and watched HGTV and did laundry. That night, I was feeling pretty good, so David and I went out to see Hunger Games. You guys...it was SO. GOOD. I cried and cried several times. An excellent tribute (no pun intended) to the book. I still recommend reading the book because they couldn't explain everything, but it was an incredible movie.

Tomorrow, I'm heading to the beach, so I'm pretty much in a super fabulous mood. And I'm hungry, so, y'all have a great weekend!

Good Friday

This week, and several weeks before, I've been a little grouchy. Okay, FINE, a lot grouchy. Geez, stop pointing it out. I have "soooo" many things to complain about wah wah wah (sarcasm).

Sure, I'm way past beyond "so over" selling the house. I'm so over spending 45% of my life this year cleaning the house and waiting for agents that never show and never bother calling to say they're not coming. We're trying to sell the house to move to a bigger house with more room. What is there to complain about, Ruthie Pooh? Not much. Is it frustrating sometimes? Yeah. Are there bigger things in life to concern myself with? Of course. Do I want the crappy agents to run through a construction site and puncture all the tires of their Mercedes SUVs? No........yes. Maybe. God's timing is perfect and He's got the right buyer out there for this house. We just have to wait and not be so whiney about it. And if we're still in this house when Baby #3 comes along, we'll make it work. I mean, one of the twins can sleep out on the patio, it'll be fine.

Sure, I don't feel good. But that's because God's chosen to bless us with another perfect life to care for. One of His children given to us here on Earth. Why did God give us three while so many very, very dear friends are waiting for one? I don't know. I know I'm completely undeserving. I know I whine about being "sick" far too much and it makes me the biggest jerkwad on the planet. It's a privilege and I want to honor this gift He's given us...through the chucking up and the tossing and turning and Pangea effect I've got going on. Through all of it, Christ can be glorified and I haven't done a great job of that lately. I cannot wait to meet this little lime (that's how big he/she is right now.) I am SO excited! I'm very excited about the singular aspects of this baby. I can't wait for him/her to meet his/her (that's gonna get old) big sisters.

Sure, I get a little worn out physically, emotionally, and mentally by my two, very energetic rascal babies. They're little chatter boxes, fo sho. And I think they run on solar power because they never seem tired and they're outside all the time, so it's the only thing that makes sense. But they make me laugh so hard every single day. They have the biggest stories to tell me. They're healthy. They're so smart (I know I'm a little biased). They love each other so much, even when they're pulling each other's hair out. They freely give hugs and kisses. They smile non-stop. They are ALWAYS smiling. They're the biggest goons and little hams I've ever met. And they're mine and David's. Every now and then, we'll be winding down for the day and turn off the living room lights and David will read them a story...the girls cuddled up on each side of him, hanging on his every word. And I'll look at my three favorite people and think, "Holy crap, we have kids." And then I'll go back further and think of my 16 year old self and David's 17 year old self and the first time he asked me to eat lunch with him at summer camp. I knew I was gonna marry him...I just never imagined it'd be this good. Who would've thunk we would have had twins. Twins with the bluest of eyes and their Daddy's curly hair...one with my personality (poor kid), one with David's.

Sure, I huff and puff when I realize SOMEbody (Iwon'tnameanynamesdavid) switched the fridge to crushed ice instead of cubed ice and then I take a sip of water and the little crushed chunks get all up in my bidness. Of all the things in all the world to get all up in a tizzy about...I choose the ice situation. David is so wonderful. On days when I'm just barely running on fumes when he gets home, he sets his briefcase down, pulls out his wallet, takes off his watch and grabs the girls and heads outside. And he takes care of everything the rest of the night. He feeds them, he bathes them, he brushes their teeth. I'll take a nap or do housework or just sit in the quiet for a minute. I know I have it good. He is the perfect partner. I couldn't imagine life without my soulmate...crushed ice and all.

None of those things...those really GOOD things...would be anything if it weren't for the sacrifice made on that Friday so many years ago. I'm excited about the Easter bunny and the hunting (of the eggs, not the bunny) and the Cadbury everything. I'm excited to share all of that with our kids. The Easter bunny bought way too much for the twins this year. Actually, the Easter bunny is regretting all that the Easter bunny got because the Easter bunny realizes it's gonna cause some issues...i.e. sidewalk chalk, crayons, stickers, etc.

But, Easter is more than that. You know the story. But, it's almost too unfathomable, if that makes sense. I think we skip over the hard part of the story sometimes because it's "too much." Sure, we like the third day aspect. It's neat and clean and shiny and well, without it...there's no Easter. But, the first part of the story...the part that happened on Good Friday...without that, there's no Easter, either. And it's pretty much impossible for me to understand what He went through. For me. For you. My Dad did a medical explanation of all the physical things Christ experienced that day in a church several years ago. A lady passed out. A few people had to leave. He wasn't being gross...it was just the truth. It's a hard truth to hear. It was a gift. A gift given out of the biggest, most intimate love. A gift none of us deserves. But, it's totally free. As you know, I am not an eloquent individual. I say things like "upchuck" and "gyah" and "like" way too much. This B.C. cartoon was on the Facebook page of the guy who played bagpipes at our wedding and I thought it summed it up pretty perfectly for today. I probably should have just shown the cartoon.

It's a Good Friday indeed. Happy Easter, everybody!

12 Weeks

Sorry I've been the lamest blogger ever lately. This baby has wreaked havoc on my everything. I've reached the 12 week mark, which is awesome, but it's also supposed to be when the 1st trimester symptoms start subsiding. With the girls, I knew the day of 12 weeks, I'd wake up and the symptoms would all be gone. Yeah, that didn't happen. It took until 18 weeks. But, I did have Zofran and he helped a lot. This time, I knew not to get my hopes up, but I still did...so, on Saturday, I thought, "TODAY'S THE DAY! I'm gonna feel stupendous!" But, that didn't happen either.

I called Dr. Mac on Monday because he said if I didn't feel better by then to let him know. They said the only other thing besides Zofran that I could take was Phenergan. I love P-gan, but it wipes me out. I mean, you could shave my head and put me on an inflatable bed in the middle of a lake and I'd never wake up. Hmmm...might not should have told you that. They doubled my dose of Zofran and you know what, it worked...for a day. Tuesday, I was feeling pretty fine. I even stayed up until 8:30 p.m. But then yesterday, it was worse than before. It might have been because I mowed the back yard, but I dunno. I threw up again. Those chips and guacamole...nevermind. Nothing worse than throwing up in a toilet and having it splash back up in your face. (That was for you, Mom.) Y'all should know by now that I have no sense of decorum. Don't even act like it surprises you.

The twins have been nothing but perfection, as they always are. They take great naps. They say "please" and "thank you". They're good eaters. They love, love, love to play outside. They just...well, they never stop talking. So, if you ask me a question and my eyes look kind of glazed over, it's because I have reached my quota of word intake for the day. And they're the sweetest conversationalists, they just repeat everything.

"Momma."

"Yes, sweetie."

"Momma. Momma. Momma. MOMMA. MOMMA. Mommamommammommamamoamoa."

"Yes. Harper. What is it?"

"Baby fish."

"Aw, yes, you have a baby fish."

"Baby blue fish. Blue fish. Momma fish. Aw, baby fish."

"Yes, the baby fish has a Momma fish."

"Aw, baby fish cry. Momma fish, 'Okay, baby. Bottle?' Aw, baby fish fall down, kay? Momma fish baby fish Momma Momma Momma MOMMA!"

"Yes, the Momma fish is a good Momma."

"Baby fish blue fish Momma fish Daddy fish. Oh no, Daddy fish gone work. Car, bye bye!"

"Yep."

They've never once said the word "mine." It's always "back."

"Mommaaaaaa!! Back! Back! Sissy back! Sissy yellow car back!"

And I know that the other one took this one's yellow car and she wants it back. And Harper has discovered that Piper Lee is scared of "monters" and she'll chase PL around and roar at her until PL gives up whatever toy she has. And the sound and screaming and "back back back" carries so well through the house. So, right now, I have in earplugs listening to the Hunger Games soundtrack. Pipes has a toy carton of milk that Harper wants, but they can work it out. They're good problem solvers. Also, if you have twins, buy two of everything. It solves so many problems.

Sincerely,

Cranky Pants Magoo

Afternoon popsicles for some red-cheeked little ladies.