This Week

Not only is today a Monday, but it marks the first day of the last week that I'm in my 20's. I'm about to be...I'm...I'm turning...'scuse me...(hrrrawrrfharrrffhggaaaaaggrharrchunk)...I'm turning 30. Sorry, I had to throw up a little bit. I KNOW I KNOW. It's not a huge deal. But, come on, y'all freaked out a little, too, when you turned 30. Give me some time...I'll get there. And for those of you who still have time (MARIA), it's coming..........it's always coming. And I'll be there to remind you about it. Heh heh. 

It's just that my 20's have been awesome and it's sad to see them go. I know God has great things in store for my 30's and I'm excited to see what all He has planned, even if I whine a little bit about the number. 

David asked awhile back what I wanted to do for my birthday. I told him, "I don't want to celebrate it. I'm barely acknowledging it. I just want to be at the beach." And so it is...we are headed to the beach on Friday and staying through Wednesday. If I have to turn 30, it definitely makes it easier being at my favorite place in the entire world. Isaac may dump a little seaweed here and there, but a seaweedy day at the beach is better than no day at the beach. 

I can do this. It's just a number....right? 

Little Hugs is at a CPE conference today. Stinks that you work for years and years to get the qualifications to TAKE the CPA exam and then you study for forever to actually take the test itself and then, after you pass, every year you have to take continuing education classes to get credit to keep your license. My mom (physical therapist), dad (doctor), and sister (nurse practitioner) all have to do the same thing. I'm like, poor people, they've worked so hard. Give them a break. Oh well. At least I ain't gotta do it. So, he's at a conference teaching advance techniques in Excel. Y'all...he has been SO excited about this class. He loves Excel. I'll be like, "I'm gonna make a grocery list," and he brightens up and asks, "Want me to make you a spreadsheet?! PLEASE?!?!" Sometimes, I'll let him do it just because it makes him so happy. It does come in handy sometimes. I pay all of our bills and keep track of our budget and receipts. And he set me up a very nice spreadsheet for it and it's easy for me to use. But, he emailed me a little bit ago and said, "There are so many other accountants here using iPads to take notes! I feel so cool!" Sweet thing, he's so cute. Well, he's way smarter than me, so I can't make fun of him too much. My adorable little nerd. 

Speaking of nerds/geeks...Gap just came out with a new line of toddler clothing for boys that's Star Wars-themed. I feel like that's a little sexist. It's just for boys. Uh, girls like Star Wars, too, Gap. And I'm not a feminist at all, you can ask David. I totally think girls suck at a lot of things. But, liking Star Wars isn't one of them.

I worked some more this weekend on little projects for Sutton's room. I'm a tad sad he won't be in his nursery when he's first born, but it'll only be a few weeks until we're in the house and that's fine. The builder is already painting the room for us. We're just adding the furniture and decorations, obviously. Here's a sneak peak at some of the stuff going in his room. SOOOO excited! Can't wait to show y'all when it's completely done. 

Le House

The post before this one was written on Monday, but it never posted. So, you can have two to read today. YAY! (Although, neither are super life-altering stories or anything.)

Went to the doctor on Wednesday. Everything looking good. Dr. Mac is "predicting" the Suttsmonster is coming early...between 36 and 39 weeks. That's not a certainty, though. This sucker could stay in the whole time. Still head down. Hoorah! Doc says if he does come early, my chances of a successful VBAC are super high. The closer I get to my due date, the chances drop a little every day. And that's fine. I just want him to cook as long as he needs to cook and come when he's ready. But, I ain't gonna say no to a 36 weeks birth with considerably less time for recovery. To be honest, I don't know why, but I've always pictured Sutton a September baby. (That thought process may be for selfish reasons. Then, all of us would have blue birthstones and I could get a pretty ring made...just an idea.) So, we shall see.

So, the HOUSE! We had an appointment at the design center yesterday. My fabulous mother came up on Wednesday to help me this week some and give David and me a little break. And sweet, precious Brandi and the Finnster kept the girls for us yesterday for several hours so Mom and I could both go to the appointment. I asked David if he wanted to be there to pick stuff out and he just said, "No, that's a girl thing. I'm always happy with whatever you choose. Have fun!" He's so easy-going. I don't get it. His only stipulations were "nothing trendy" and "nothing that's going to blind me" and "nothing that will make me physically ill." So, I pretty much had free reign.

I had a general idea of what we were kind of going for before we went into the appointment, but it was still a little overwhelming. Some things, I knew immediately what I wanted. Others took a little more time. But, the whole process was really smooth and SO much fun. Oh my gosh, I wish I could decorate houses all day long.

First, I'll tell you the layout of the house so you can get the jist of it.

Downstairs: 2-story foyer. Staircase to the left. Walk a little ways. Off to the right, down a hall is the guest bedroom and bath. Straight ahead is the open concept living room, dining room and kitchen. Kitchen has an island that seats 6 (that's where we'll probably eat most of our meals). Off to the left of that space is the master bedroom and bath. Behind the kitchen is a "drop zone" with a little bench. Kind of like a mud room, I guess. With exits to the patio and garage. Also back there is the laundry room and pantry.

Upstairs: You walk up to a den/playroom. To the left is the girls' room and bathroom. To the right is a little walkway to Sutton's room, Sutton's bathroom (the girls' is an ensuite bathroom, but his is in the hallway so people can access it without having to go through his room. He's a boy...he'll live.) Also to the right off the playroom area are two other bedrooms. One will be David's "man" room, whatever that means. And the other will be my office. So, no toys downstairs. We're gating the top of the stairs and the kids will have their playroom and bedrooms. I can work up there and keep an eye on them. We'll have a little fridge and microwave up there for snacks, so we're not going up and down all day. The plan they originally designed for us did not have the extra bedroom (my office) and the playroom was a little smaller, so we got them to expand over the garage to give us that space. David was like, "My attic space!" But, they extended the garage as well and made a little room so he would have extra storage there. And, lo and behold, he was much happier not having to carry stuff upstairs for storage. Uh huh. See, I think things through.

The yard encompasses a good chunk of the driveway. There will be an automatic gate to come in and out. But, we wanted the driveway inside the fence so the kids could ride bikes, skate, do sidewalk chalk, whatever, and we could sit under the patio and watch them.

Here are the interior paint colors. (These aren't showing up 100% accurate, but you get the idea.)

This one will go in Sutton's room and David's "man" room.

This one will go on one wall in the guest bedroom (behind the bed), in the dining room area, in the drop zone, pantry, laundry room, and all in the girls' bedroom.

 This is the main wall color everywhere else in the house.

And this is the trim and ceiling color. It looks kind of creamy/dark here, but it's really just a soft white.

I did get permission to put the front of the house on here. This is basically what it'll look like, just different colors.

This will be the main color. I couldn't find an exact match. It's a little more gray-y blue-y sea-foamy and less mint. That's not vague at all.

This is the front and back door color.

And this is all the trim and column color.

I'm super upset that none of these colors are showing up well either. Everything is really just neutral and clean looking. Nothing too crazy.

I had, no joke, about 40 options for bathroom tile. Too many options stresses me out. I remember registering for the girls and crying in Target just standing in front of the pacifiers. How do you know which is the right one? But Mom and the designer being there helped soooooo much. And I'm just so happy with everything.

This is the bathroom tile for the 3 regular bathrooms.

The half-circle pull at the top of the picture and the knob in the middle (on the left) are the kitchen knobs and stuff. I really like just simple things, nothing too fancy.

This is the master bathroom tile. It's this really pretty, earthy slate. I wasn't picturing something like that in our bathroom, but saw it and loved it. We also got it in the laundry room. Oh, and during the tile selection, she brings out like 50 options for grout color. GROUT COLOR?? I thought grout was grout. I didn't know I'd have to pick out a grout color. Grout. Grout is fun to say.

The wood below the stuff in this next picture is the floor. It's like a rich, espresso hardwood. I really like it. It's everywhere downstairs except the bedrooms. Oh shoot, I forgot to get a picture of the carpet. It's just like a normal, neutral carpet. I wanted hardwoods in the bedrooms. David wanted carpet. David wanted dark cabinets in the kitchen. I wanted white. He let me have white. I let him have carpet. It worked out.

The white little piece of wood is what the kitchen cabinet color will be. That's not what the style of the cabinet will be, just the color. I picked the Shaker style of cabinets. Oh look! I Googled a picture and found the style and the same type of knobs we'll have! (See picture below this one.) So, just really simple and clean cabinets.

The square on top of the white piece of wood is the counter top. It's showing a little darker in this picture. They're actually lighter than that. The three pieces of porous marble on the left is the style of the backsplash. Except, I wanted to do the subway style, which they have, just didn't have a sample of it. So, it'll be like the brick pattern on the wall but with this type of stone.

The different sized slate pieces at the top is what will be around the fireplace. The mantle and woodwork will be the trim color, but then this stone pattern will be all around the fireplace and 12 x 12 matching pieces will be on the hearth.

This is the only picture I got of the bathroom cabinets. It's below the paint chips and white square. I originally planned on getting white cabinets for the bathrooms, but then saw this espresso and really liked it. So, that'll be in all the bathrooms and the white square on top is the white marble countertops. They'll be the same Shaker style as in the kitchen.

I also had to pick out lighting fixtures (indoor and outdoor), and plumbing fixtures and even drain color for the roof and side of house. That was easy, though, even though there were literally 70 choices. 

Oh my gosh, it was SO much fun. We really did have a good time. I showed everything to David and he was definitely happy with everything. We are so excited. God has given us the opportunity to build a family home that our kids will grow up in and we could not be more grateful or blessed. 

Anyways. I just wanted to show you guys! I hope you like it! If not, it's too late to make changes. 

Here's some photos of the lot.

 Waving!

Ginormica! 

Many Topics

Random catch-up post. 

Potty Training

Our adventures in potty training have been...well, an adventure. Harper has it down. And as long as I can get Piper Lee trained before college, we'll be good to go. That kid has no interest in the toilet. We've deprived them of chocolate. They only get some if they go potty. A lot of websites and books say don't bribe your kids into using the "big kid" toilet because then they think they should get a reward every time they use it. Uh, yeah. It's a huge accomplishment. I mean, when they're in high school, sure, don't give them candy for using the bathroom, but a 2.5 year old? They can have the whole bag of M&M's for all I care. (Btw, I DO understand what those books/websites are saying, but bribing has worked for us...well, I like to call it rewarding. Anyways.) We tried the 15 minute thing. We were gonna try the watch thing where they'd wear a watch that went off every 10-15 minutes and you sit them on the toilet to see if they could go. But, the 15 minute thing where I just set an alarm and asked if they needed to go didn't work, so I figured a watch wouldn't either. We tried a potty that played music and sang a song when tee tee or poop hit the bottom. They weren't having it. Then, one day, back in June, they come up to the gate to my office and say, "Momma. Chocolate." Usually they just get chocolate (M&M's or Hershey's Kisses) if we're on a loooong car trip and everybody is getting fussy. Or, if they've done something extra awesome like help Momma pick up their toys without me asking them to, etc. So, I say, "If you go tee tee on the potty, I'll give you some chocolate." Piper's response was, "Nope." And Harper says, "Okay." Skeptical, I lead her to their little training toilet and pull down her drawers. I sit across from her on the real toilet and we wait. She thinks and thinks and thinks and squints her eyes and then a smile..."I did it!" I pick her up and sure enough, there is one little droplet of tee. I figured that was good enough for a first try. I reward her with two Kisses. She downs those in like .3 seconds, then proclaims, "I tee tee again." We go back to the toilet and she fills that bowl up. I've set the precedent of giving her two Kisses, so she expects two again and this time, it's a real tee tee, so I was more than happy to reward her. I asked Piper Lee if she wanted to try and she shakes her head and said, "No. Harper did it." As in, "Harper has met the potty quota for today so there's no need for me to go."

A few weeks went by and nothing on the potty front. I thought maybe it was a one-time thing. Then, about 3 weeks ago, she asked to start pottying again. Chocolate deprivation will do that to you. So, Harper's been great about it. We've had a few accidents in the apartment. She lets me know if she's wet her panties. Oh, and they got to pick out their own big girl panties. Harper: Hello Kitty. Piper Lee: Tangled. Piper Lee insists on wearing hers OVER her diapers. Harper proudly displays hers for everyone. I think PL is genuinely scared of the potty, so we don't want to push her at all. I know she'll do it in her own time. She knows exactly when she's pooping. She has a little routine and she wants privacy. And she's let us know she will survive without chocolate. But, she's half me, so we'll see how long she can go without it. 

The Lake

We went up to the lake on Saturday. My parents drove up and stayed the weekend with Bryan, Sara, and Bryan's parents. So, we headed up early Saturday and spent the day. The weather was perfect. The water was so great. The girls went tubing again and loved it. Mom wasn't thrilled with it, but I rode one of the jet skis. I was super careful. The water was really smooth and anytime there was a wake, I either stood up or just slowed down. And Mom was driving another one with Sara riding, so we were going like 11 MPH anyway. I was so proud of Mom for driving, though. We all took a ride on Mr. Freddy's pontoon while Bryan drove the ski boat for David to wake surf. The girls took a nap. I snuck a little one in. 

Mr. Freddy (Big Daddy) sat on the dock with the girls and fished for brim. I asked the girls if they wanted to kiss a fish and they says, "No! Big Daddy do it!" So, he kissed the fish for them.

Sara tried to teach me and Mom how to stand-up paddle board. That was a weird thing. It looks SO easy. It is not. Mr. Freddy had fed the catfish that live close to the boat house. They are literally like small sharks. They are gigantic. And so gross looking. I'll eat them all day long, but they are freaky fish. After 30 minutes or so, they go on back to their little nests, but some of the pellets are still floating in the water, closer to where I was paddle boarding. I can see a few here and there beneath me. Sara's trying to tell me that a boat is about to pass by and to direct the board into the wake and paddle over it. I'm thinking, "These catfish are gonna bite through this board." Then, the wake comes and I lose my balance and fall in. My first thought is, "CATFISH!" I swim like I've never swam before. Oh my gosh, those catfish. They're coming after me. I can feel their whiskers on my feet. I grab the board and I realize I can't pull myself back up. I'm a pretty good distance from the boat house. Sara's laughing at me. Mom's asking why I'm breathing weird. I screech, "Because of the catfish!!!" Sara assures me there are no catfish around me. But, that girl is sneaky. I could have had one on my back and she would have said nobody was there. I make it to the boat house and decide paddle boarding isn't for me. And then I realized I pulled a muscle in my crotchal area from swimming so hard. Stupid catfish. 

Speaking of catfish, Mr. Freddy fried some that night along with hush puppies. Mrs. Karen made some amazing cole slaw and tartar sauce and we had a good ole fish fry. Oh my word, it was delicious. We told the girls it was chicken and they ate every bite. 

A very good day.

32 Weeks

Sutts turned 32 weeks on Saturday. Mom and I have a bet as to how big he'll be. Mom thinks around 10 pounds. I think that's ridiculous. Sure, he feels like about 10 pounds right now, but I'm guessing around 8.5. My man hands are back and they're just as awesome as they were the first time around. I now have 37 chins. My lips are very puffy. David says I look radiant. He's a liar, but a sweet one. That's why I'm going to keep him forever. 

I can't say more than two sentences without getting winded. It's ridiculous. I'm ready to be un-pregnant and very much looking forward to that. But then, I know that part also comes with a newborn and I'm okay waiting a little while longer. It was only 3 weeks and 3 days before the girls came at this point. So weird to think about.

The House

I haven't updated y'all on the house in forever. Long story short (ha)...this has been the most drawn-out ordeal in the history of anything ever. It's ended up being good and everything's worked out and we're happy. Every single thing has had to be approved by a set of lawyers and builders and committees. Like, "Oh, you want to add beaded board to the kitchen ceiling? Okay. We will write up the addendum and get the changed contract to you within 100 years." In the community where we're building, there wasn't a floor plan we liked. David and I liked the builder, so we asked if we drew up something, if they could maybe do it. They said sure. We came up with our own floor plan...something that worked for us...and they had their architect come up with blue prints. But, then, silly us, we wanted a little more square footage upstairs and asked for a few random things here and there and everything just took forever. My dad was saying that was normal with building a house from scratch. It was just frustrating, because it kept pushing our move-in date back, of course. But, in the end, it's all worked out. Contract is signed. They are breaking ground this week. I asked, out of respect to the architect, if I could put the floor plan online to show you guys and they asked me not to since it was a brand new plan for their community. Which is cool, I understand. So, I'll just tell y'all about it in another post. I'm hoping to take pictures of the whole process and I'll update as it goes along. I am SOOO excited. Mostly, I'm excited that we'll all have room again and a yard. At this point, we're sick of the swimming pool. And poor little Sutton won't have his own room until we get moved in. BUT, I have almost everything done for it. I cannot wait to show y'all how his room is gonna be. I decided to get everything done before he was born even though I couldn't do anything with a nursery until we moved. That way, all we have to do is set up his crib and decorate. And the builder will paint the room for us. Heck yes. 

Anyways. Here are some pictures of the girly girls! 

Little Buddy

So, we went and had a 3D/4D ultrasound for the Suttsman. I would normally not have gotten one because we're gonna see him in real life in a few weeks (hopefully 8+ weeks). We didn't do the 3D with the girls. But, poor little guy hasn't gotten as many ultrasounds as the girls did and I felt bad for him. Since twins are considered a "high-risk pregnancy" (even though we were very blessed with a textbook pregnancy and delivery), almost every time I went to the doctor, I got an ultrasound. I have tons of pictures and videos of the girls in utero. And I've only had the first two early ultrasounds and the gender determination ultrasound with Sutton...just one video. And I think I only get one more ultrasound for him. So, the kiddo needed something else. 

My doctor's office won't do 3D/4D ultrasounds past 30 weeks, so I found a place in Birmingham that does them all pregnancy long. It was SO much fun. Just a great experience. We took the girls with us thinking they would enjoy getting to see Baby Brudder, but yeah, ha, no...they didn't care. Thankfully, the room we were in had toys, so they were content playing with a Batman/Batcave house thing. 

She was able to get so many great pictures of him. I was so happy. Sutts was fabulous. He liked his hands up by his face. I guess they're his safety blanket. And he would open and close his hands and point fingers. "These are my laser guns...pew pew pew!" He was peeping open his eyes here and there and opening his mouth. He got the twins' nose and full lips and chubby chubby cheeks. My pregnancy journal says he weighs around 3.5 pounds right now. Uh yeah...in one cheek. Mom thinks he'll be an 8.5+ pounder. I'm hoping for a 7-ish pounder, but we'll see. Seeing as how the girls were a month and a day early and still weighed 6 and 7 pounds, I'm afraid Sutton will be a monster. She also said he had a head full of hair. I didn't really see that, but I guess she's the expert. 

She was jiggling my belly around to get him to move his hands and he was sooo mad at her. He kept furrowing his brow and scrunching his face.

He had his feet and hands all up in his face.

 Shadows from the umbilical cord.

 Furrowing his brow again.

We are just so in love with this kid. David and I were talking last night. I still can't believe it's a boy, for one thing, and that we're having a son...but we are just so blessed that God chose us as his parents. I mean, US. The two who laid down in a mud hole to get camouflaged for a game of paint ball. The two who dressed up as the Mario Brothers...last year...for Halloween. The guy who went to a conference on how to survive a zombie apocalypse and the girl who asked about what he learned so we'd have an escape plan. I mean...US. Poor kid. But, I will say...he's super lucky to have the sisters he's got. They are going to be the best big sisters. I showed them the ultrasound pictures afterwards and they both squealed, "Sutty!" So, I think they're gonna be pretty cool with him being around. He'll get dressed up a lot, but they'll take good care of him.

And get this...HE'S HEAD DOWN! It was all that visualizing I've been doing. Next up, visualize some cooler weather. I was going to try the cold bag of peas and flashlight method, but hopefully now I won't have to. Although, I'm not holding my breath he stays this way. He rearranges my internal organs on a daily basis and apparently has all sorts of places to be, so I wouldn't be surprised if he rotates back around. But, we'll see. Just keep visualizing...just keep visualizing...

Life with Red Ruth: The Towels

A couple of weeks ago, we were folding and putting up laundry and I go into our bathroom where we have the linen closet and I notice a beach/pool towel is in with the regular/every day towels. I haven't been as OCD about our "towel categories" in the apartment as I was with the house. Mainly because I'm too tired to care and I mean, I haven't even hung a single picture on the wall in the apartment, so whatever. But, this was a HUGE beach towel that was completely in the way and the conversation went something like this...

Ruth: "David!"

David: "Yeah, sweetie?" 

"Dude, you gotta put these big beach towels up high out of the way with the other beach towels." 

"Oh, sorry. Yeah, here I'll move it." 

"But good job folding." 

"Okay, thanks, Monica. You and your towel categories."

"Shut it."

(Mom, Monica is a character on the TV show, Friends, who is OCD about cleaning and having categories of things like ribbons and towels and dishes, etc. He calls me Monica a lot.)

But, in my hormone-induced world of crazy, the conversation went more like this.

Dude, Where's My License?

This past Wednesday through Saturday, I ventured on up to the East Coast to spend a few days with my homies in Virginia. No huge projects to work on, just a fun visit. I talk to these folks every single (work) day, but I only see them once every 12-18 months. So, it's really weird to be up there emailing and they're in the room next to me. I went shopping, stepped into a Yankee Candle Company store (more like city...OH MY GOSH...I'll have to tell you more about it later), signed an autograph, met some new faces (they were attached to bodies), and hung out. It was a good time and I was so happy to get to see them. Hopefully, it won't be as long before my next visit.

Sweet Mom came up Tuesday night to keep the girls and took me to the airport on Wednesday. I pride myself on being an organized traveler. I had checked in the night before, printed my boarding passes. I just had my backpack and carry-on suitcase, so I wasn't checking any bags. Mom dropped me off with plenty of time to get through security, pick up the US Weekly copy of "Kristen Cheated on Rob" at Hudson News, and arrive at my gate well before boarding time. I roll up to security and wait in the line.  The lady in front of me dropped her wallet, so I reached down to pick it up for her. Then, I dropped my boarding pass, so the guy behind me picked it up for me. It was a touching moment for the three of us. I take out my license along with my boarding pass to show the lady at the first checkpoint. I hate my license picture. It was taken 2 weeks before the girls were born, but the weight says what I weighed pre-pregnancy. And I'm sure people look at my face in the picture and think, "Suuuuure...you weigh that. Riiiiiiiiight."

After that checkpoint, it's kind of a rush as you're required to take off your shoes, unload laptops, iPads, thick computer-y stuff, travel-sized toiletries, and put it all in bins. I take off my shoes (my high-top Toms that take forever to put back on...really thought that through, Ruth) and pull out my toiletries to set in the bin. I check my pockets to make sure I don't have anything in there, and then toss my backpack and suitcase up on the conveyer belt. Of course, they have to do a second run-through on my backpack. The lady yelled, "Who didn't take out their laptop?!" I meekly responded, "It's not a laptop. It's a Wacom tablet." In my defense, the sign doesn't say anything about taking out Wacom tablets. They scrutinized the monitor, trying to see if I could make a bomb out of it.

Side note: I'm glad they scrutinize so carefully. You can x-ray any part of my body and pat me down wherever, I don't care, as long as I know I'm flying safely.

They determined I wasn't a terrorist and let me on my way. I sit down at some chairs and reload my bags, shoving my boarding pass in my backpack so I can access it easily when we board. I spend 13 minutes putting my stupid shoes back on. I finish and head straight to Hudson News. I've got to see these Kristen cheating pictures. I head out of the store straight to the bathroom and then to a little kiosk selling bottled water. Figured I'd be getting thirsty soon. I hand the lady my debit card to pay and she asks to see my ID because on the back of my card, I have "Check ID" instead of my signature. I reach back into my wallet to dig out my license. It's not there. I flip through the little slots...nothing. Puzzled, I tell her, "I literally JUST had my license when I came through security." I patted my pockets, remembering I had put my license in my right back pocket after the first checkpoint for safekeeping. Yeah, that kept it real safe. I apologized for the wait and reiterated that I seriously just had my license. And she says, "That's okay. What's your name?" I tell her and she looks at the card, satisfied, and hands it and my water back to me. So, apparently, if you steal a debit/credit card, all you have to do is memorize the name and you're golden. And then I thought, "No, it's not okay! Where is my license?!"

I walk a little out of the way up against the wall and squat down. I check my pockets again. I KNOW I put it in my back pocket. But, it's not there. You know when you've lost something and you check the same place over and over because you don't want to accept the fact that it's lost. I probably checked my back pockets a million times. I had plenty of time before the plane left, but I needed all of it to find the dadburn piece of plastic. I looked through every pocket and orifice of my backpack. Nothing. I knew I hadn't put it in my suitcase, but I checked it anyway. I checked my pockets again. The backs of my knees were starting to sweat. GASP! I bet when I went to the bathroom, it fell out of my pocket. I hustled to the women's restroom and looked all over the floor. I'm sure I confused a few people. Someone even told me, "There's no one in that stall." No license. I went back to Hudson News and retraced my steps through the store. I determined it fell out of my pocket going through security.

I went to the TSA agent desk right by the security screening and waited until someone noticed me. There wasn't a little dingy bell, so I couldn't do anything. After an eternity, they turned to me and asked how they could help. I told them my license was missing and that I was pretty sure it fell out during security. The guy helping me was, well, I might as well have been doing his job. He just looked at me like, "Uh...license? Uh. Let me see if anybody turned one in." He "checked" through some lost and found for about 4 seconds before saying, "No. Nothing." And I said, "I came through like 10 minutes ago. It might be up by the screening area where the x-ray machines are." And he said, "No, probably not." And he was nice, he was, and it's not his fault that I lost my license, but really? You just KNOW it's not up there? His friend walked by and said, "You about to head out?" And the guy was like, "Yeah, about to go pick up my girl." So, obviously, he was super interested in helping me find my license. He gave me card to call to inquire about lost and found in a few days...maybe somebody will turn it in. I told him I was flying up to Virginia. Would I be able to get back home? He assured me everything would be fine and yeah, I could just show them a credit card. I didn't think that was accurate...most likely they'd want a picture ID, but he was in a hurry to go get his girl. Awesome.

I starting heading toward my gate, stopping at a set of chairs to look through everything again. I completely emptied my backpack. As I was doing so, I was going through all the horrible scenarios that a missing license might bring upon me and my family. What if somebody saw it on the floor, picked it up, and decided to track me down and murder me one day? It had my address on it, my height, weight, hair and eye color. Oh wait...it still has my old address. Heh heh, joke's on them. But, oh no, they might show up to the house and murder the sweet couple that bought it! Well, better them than me. But still, sad for them. I wondered if people could steal your identity with the info that's on a license. We don't have social security numbers on ours. But it does say that I'm an organ donor and that I wear contacts. How can they use that information against me? Sigh. I swung my backpack up on my shoulders and wheeled my suitcase around. I retraced my steps one more time to the bathroom, Hudson News, and the wide hallway.

I called David to ask what I should do. Should I just stay in Birmingham? I had travel insurance on the flight. I just didn't want to be unable to get back home all because of a license. He said it was all well and good for the TSA agent to tell me all I would need was a credit card, but it wasn't him getting grilled by Virginian TSA agents and they are tough cookies. I knew he was right. I marched back to the TSA desk. On my way, I tried desperately to recollect the events that occurred from the first checkpoint until I was putting my shoes back on. Where did I put my license? Did I really put it in my back pocket? No, I determined that I had not. I remembered thinking, No, don't put it in your pocket, because you'll forget you put it there and freak out about it missing later. Man, I cannot win today. I guess I just placed it directly in the bin with my boarding pass.

The replacement TSA agent was there at the desk and he was pretty. He noticed me immediately and asked how he could help. Apparently, the afternoon agents are more helpful. I told him my situation and that I was fairly certain it was in one of the bins. He said it happens all the time. He said I could come back to the security screening area and he and another agent would look through the bins. I waited and sure enough, they looked through every single bin. They searched the floor around the x-ray machine. Nothing to be found. They looked through lost and found again. Still nothing. He gave me the same card the first agent did and told me to call later to see if it had turned up. I asked him the same question about coming back home without a license. (I did have my paper license...the one they give you before you get your permanent plastic one.) I had no other form of photo ID. He said they would check my credit/debit cards and worst case scenario, make a phone call to make sure I was who I said I was, but it wouldn't be any problem coming back. Fine, fine.

I thanked him profusely and as I was heading back down the ramp, he said, "When you get to your hotel, empty everything out on the bed so you can look through it all. A lot of times people put things where they wouldn't think they would...random places. A lot of people get angry at us saying we lost their stuff, but it was in their shoe the whole time. (chuckle chuckle)" I laughed with him and thought, Man, people can be so lame someti--MY SHOE!!!!! The memory of slipping my license into my shoe after the first checkpoint and telling myself not to forget it all came rushing back to me like a punch in the face. I wiggled my toes...sho nuff, I could feel it. I gave a little nervous laugh and thanked him again, backing down the ramp. I most definitely was not going to tell him I, the idiotic girl, knew exactly where it was.

I casually strolled to my gate, took off my shoe, and basked in the glory of my found license. We were happily reunited at Gate C5.

And the moral of the story is, don't cheat on your boyfriend because paparazzi are everywhere and US Weekly will buy the scandalous pictures and you will be called a trampire.