Mom and HDTV

We recently got a new TV. We thought about putting our old one in the bedroom, but gave it to sister Sara instead for her new loft because she helps us with the twins so much. (And David really didn't want to have to drill holes in the wall to connect it to the DVR, but the real reason is because Sara's awesome.) Actually, the girls picked the TV out. We were in Best Buy and I was strolling them while David was talking to a sales guy and we strolled in front of one and the girls started clapping. I checked it out...had everything we were looking for...I called David and said, "This is it." That was easy. They're good shoppers.

And then, last week, we got a thing in the mail from our satellite company saying we could get a free HD DVR and free HD programming, so we jumped on that. I think they're trying to keep their customers from going to another company with free everything when you sign up...fine with me. I'm kept. We thought about getting it months ago, but it was going to be about $250. I don't ever buy anything unless I absolutely need it (hahaha...like a girl means that). But, I'll take free stuff FO SHO.

So, a few weeks ago when Mom was here, we were watching a movie on the new TV. And Mom did not like it. This was the conversation...

Mom: The TV looks funny.

Ruth: What do you mean?

Mom: It just looks weird.

Ruth: Well, sit somewhere else...maybe the angle is weird.

Mom: No. It's not that. It just...it doesn't look real.

David (silent until now): Mrs. A...you realize what's on TV isn't real, right?

Mom: No. It's- it just doesn't look real. It's not right. It just doesn't look real.

Ruth/David: You do understand there aren't tiny people in the TV box, don't you? It's TV. It's not real.

Mom: THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEAN! They just look like they're on a stage or something.

Ruth: Well, in reality, they are. It's a sound stage.

Mom: NO! It's like a soap opera. It's moving too fast. They're moving too fast.

Ruth: Are you high?

Mom: I'm going to throw something at you. You know what I mean.

Ruth: Well, that's the way Dad's TV is at home.

Mom: I know and I don't like it.

Ruth: Times have changed, Mom. You have to adapt or get tossed with the cathode ray tubes.

Mom: No.

Ruth: Okay. Can we resume the movie?

Mom: Sure.

(muffled dialogue streaming from TV....and then...)

Mom, exasperated: It just doesn't look real!

Mom's here again this week (thank goodness! David's CPA-studying and I'm busy with work...she is the best). And last night, they came and set up our HD DVR and satellite and that has caused a whole new uproar.

"I don't like that you can see every flaw. I liked the idea that movie stars were perfect...almost fake. They think they're perfect, why can't we think that, too. And now this TV shows everything and they look just like us."

"Well, Mom, they're people. Just like us."

"It's like a soap opera. They just look like they're actors on a stage."

"THEY ARE!"

"No, but it shouldn't look like that. They should move slower."

"You should move slower."

"Shut up."