This past weekend, my parents and brothers drove down to Key West. LAME. I feel sorry for them, I really do. Noah was on Spring Break...for the very last time ever...and then it's the real world, Noah! It's the real world! No more Spring Break! You gotta work, suckah! (That's me being Mom.) But for real...hehe, no more Spring Break.
Noah loaded some pictures on Facebook and I stole them so we could all share in their misery.
They made a few stops on the way down just to break up the monotony of the grossest state ever, Florida. Ugh, Florida. Tropical America. Crystal clear waters, white sugar sandy beaches, hues of blue and turquoise that are impossible to reproduce outside of nature. Blah...kill me now.
They stopped by Silver Springs to see the, well, springs. Despite the swarms of rednecks that frequent the tourist trap, it's a beautiful...I mean, disgusting place. Cool, clear, calm water encapsulated by lush Florida vegetation, haunted by ghosts and legends of man-eating creatures. They have glass bottom boats that take you to see all the main springs and some of Florida's indigenous wildlife.
Then they stopped by the Everglades to see the Everglades.
And they went on an airboat ride.
After the Everglades, they drove the rest of the way through the Keys and ended up at the very bottom...Key West. The bottom of America. Fitting, too. Pristine scenery, amazing seafood, unparalleled water sports...it's a wonder people don't die of boredom when they get there.
One day, they took a two-hour catamaran ride out to Fort Jefferson...70 miles from Key West. In the middle of nowhere.
It was a fort built to protect the Keys against piracy and during some of the wars, but then it became a prison. I can think of worse places to be imprisoned. It's surrounded by a seawall to protect against the surf and it forms sort of a moat. It's the largest brick formation in the USA.
Over a decade ago, a saltwater crocodile got blown off course by a storm...WAY OFF COURSE...and ended up in the moat. He's been there ever since. They say as long as he doesn't bother tourists, he can stay. I feel so sorry for him. Noah said he seemed to be okay.
The most famous prisoner was Dr. Samuel Mudd...one of the conspirators charged in the murder of Abraham Lincoln. That's where the saying, "Your name will be Mudd," comes from. This is his cell.
Noah went snorkeling outside the fort in the reef. He was the only one that went, which was a super smart idea.
Another day, they walked on the original Seven Mile Bridge to Pigeon Key and back.
Mom and her pumpkin hat.
Ugh, really? Barf. Give me a pollution-hazed dreary city locale any day of the week. Who wants to live in paradise?
Key West has the best hole-in-the-wall restaurants and my family insisted on sending me pictures of everything they ate. Coconut-encrusted grouper, mango pecan snapper, white chocolate mousse brownies, Key Lime pie, tempura fried green beans. "Heh, sorry excuses for tropical cuisine," Ruth smirked at her family's food choices as she removed the plastic film from her own frozen chicken alfredo lunch.
Whatever, I mean. Key West...I don't care. I have to finish my Cocoa Puffs and get back to work. Bye.