Being "self-conscious" doesn't begin to scratch the surface of the range of emotions you go through as your body is being transformed from something "normal" to something unearthly for 40 weeks. I didn't have the pregnancy glow with the girls and I FO SHO don't have it now. Celebrities can pay for that glow and I do believe there are a lucky few that get it and I hate them. For the rest of us, we spend our days looking in the mirror at everything changing, hoping this or that stays tucked in or tucked up for just a little while longer.
While it's all definitely worth it, no doubt, I think it's frustrating me this time more than with the girls because it's happening WAY faster. Dr. Mac said that would be the case. Your body prepares earlier on because it's like, "Oh, hey, here we go again."
David has been nothing but wonderful through my whining and questioning. "Is my back fat getting bigger? Is my nose huge? Does my butt jiggle more than normal? Do I have sausage fingers?"
He is so sweet, says I'm being ridiculous, and tells me how beautiful I am. I tell him of course he has to say that, but he insists he's telling the truth. He's a good man. The other day was a rough day for me and I was feeling down in the dumps...mainly because I looked like a dump. He came along to encourage me.
The real conversation went like this...
David: What is it?
Ruth: I'm too tired and sick to exercise. I don't feel like myself and I don't look like myself. And I feel like everything is moving around.
David: Moving around?
Ruth: Like, body parts.
David: You are insane. You look the exact same as you did before you got pregnant. You felt like this with the girls, too. You'll be back to yourself in no time.
Ruth: I know, I know. Well, just call me Pangea until then. (pout)
But, in my head and in my rage-induced world, the conversation went more like this...