Papaw

Interwebs, I'd like to introduce you to my grandfather (on my mom's side). In case you don't speak redneck, I've included a transcript of the conversation below. It still won't make much sense, but there you have it.

?????

Papaw, wheoooah w-wh-uhm, where you were at this mornin'?

I had my phone cut off.

No no your house phone.

Ah I wuttin at home.

Oh uh uh where were you at.

I'd gone up town to get some medicine...get some bananas.

Me and Sara are gonna come over and watch the game, Papaw.

Okay.

I may come with him.

Thyrygo d'you take a bath?

Yeah, Noah didn't.

Shmell in that house...

Well, Noah didn't take a bath, so tell him.

Alright...alrighty....hooow...

Papaw, uh uh Papaw, have you ever heard the tale about the frog?

Yeah I heard it.

Okay, good.

Noizarnol...

Yes, sir.

If they gettin beat...I can't watch it.

You and me, Papaw.

Ha ha...heh, neffin lack one touchdown cause they get they hind two three, ah ah, i'm like Jack Weaver, now. Jack Weaver goes down in the woods...and he'll holler every once in awhile, "What's the scooore?" He won't come back forloneebarh.

Huh huh

Uuuh...what cat'd y'all carry weeyah?

We got Bob.

Oh bu-guh-uh is Buck around?

We couldn't fin ah he did he stopped followin us.

Ahh Buck ah tha ouff galavantin around goorf sniffin n snortin and all thas stuh and all that stuff (sniff)

Uh uh did mom tell you we skeered her?

Hm hm.

We scared her good.

We jumped out of the woods over here when we were on the trail and scared her mom started screamin.

Uhkay ha ha huh oh she don oh ha ha i hide down here awh tha wha.

And you and you fell asleep.

Ha oh I have one time yeah they fooled me uh y'all done see any deer?

Yeah we saw one just now.

We did just a while ago.

Did your daddy tell you when he walked yesterday saw three?

That's what he was sayin yeah.

I looked out there I'd forgotten about that trail I looked that window and I saw that man walkin had on a white tee had on a white sweatshirt I said what in the world then it oughtama hit me I said buhy that's David walkin.

Ah that's him yep mm good.

Alrighty I'm gonna go home get everything I got to get this uh uh uh stuff put up in the uhm.........and all the other stuff.........(who knows)

Uhm what time does the game start?

2:30

It starts at 2:30

2:30

Aight well it's really 30 minutes til 3 if you wan.

Same thing.

Noooo no nononononono

30 minutes to 3 is later 2:30 is urliyr if you don't believe it 2:30 and then you got 3 minus

Uh Papaw press that gas and go home.

OH!

Bye Papaw!

Ah ha see y'all!

See you later!

Aight!