Susannah

So, on our trip, my parents' room steward's name was Susannah...she was from Bulgaria...which is right near Transylvania........

My brother, Peter, is from Bulgaria, but I've never been scared of him. Susannah...I was a little scared of her...we all were. Have you ever had those moments in life where anything is possible? They don't happen very often, but when they do, all reason leaves you. I call those my Parallel Universe moments. I had a week-long Parallel Universe moment while we were on that ship...I believed that vampires actually existed. And I wasn't the only one. My parents and brothers believed it, too. Susannah was a vampire...at LEAST half a vampire. The first time I saw her, I was taken aback by her ghostly pale skin, blue black hair, piercing dark eyes and velvety smile...complete with elongated incisors. She had this sing-song voice that had a way of hypnotizing you and she also spoke in run-on sentences....almost like poems. She was sugary sweet and very amiable. She found out Peter was from Bulgaria, too, so she called only him by name. She just called me and Noah "children." She knew our names, I just think she didn't want to get too attached to us because she had determined our fates. 

She was always around. We couldn't ever walk down the hallway without running into her...it was like she never slept......she would always ask what we were doing, where we were going, what we ate for dinner that night, when we were taking naps, what our blood types were...it was like playing 20 questions. 

I happened to get a picture of her when she wasn't watching. 

She always knew where our parents were...at all times. We would be walking down the hall to their room to see if they wanted to get ice cream and out of a door that wasn't there seconds before, her widow-peaked noggin would pop, preceded by a silky smooth, "Helloooo, Peter...hellooooo, children...your mommy and daddy are in their room, yes......" 

Yeah, creepy. 

So, how did we determine she was a vampire...besides the fact that she wore a black, high-collared cape at all times...we had clues...We asked her if she ever went ashore during her days off and she said, "Eeeh, I don't like the sun." (clue #1)  She asked one day where we were going for a snack and we said, "We're going to the pizza bar." To which she replied, "Oh, I don't like pizza...too much garlic. (clue #2)  She asked if we were getting lobster or steak for one of the formal nights and I said lobster. She said, "Ooooh...I love steak. I like steak rare...very very very rare and pink." (clue #3)  She asked if we had bought any jewelry while ashore...I said, "Yes, I actually found a silver chain for some charms my husband bought me." She replied, "Ew, I don't like silver." (clue #4)

There were some other aspects of our time with Susannah that led us to believe in her vampire-ness. These were actual conversations we had with Susannah during our stay onboard. 

"Helloooo, Peter...helloooooo, children..." 

"Hey, Susannah."

"How ahrre you today?"

"We're good. How are you?"

"Good, good...he he heeee...verrry good." (She rolled her "R's") 

"Hello, family...going to dinner, ahrre we?"

"Yes, heading there now."

"Vahnderrrful. You all look delici---ahem--beautiful tonight. Enjoy. Eat up. Eat up." 

"Hello mommy and daddy...and where ahrre the children today?" 

"I think they're in their room."

"Ahh...good...good...best for them to get their rest....yessss."

So. I'm not one to judge, but she was totally a great-great-grandchild of Dracula. It was a real Parallel Universe moment, except it was in THIS universe and it was pretty awesome. She ended up not drinking our blood or coming into our room at night to watch us sleep...although I still have that nightmare...or cursing us to forever walk the earth as the undead. She was a sweet gal who just so happened to have a blood-thirsty bat-man for an ancestor. I mean, who doesn't have one of those, right?

And who am I to talk...I'm part-bat myself.