Random Thoughts for Today

Why is Lost not coming back on until February? That's the dumbest thing ever. OR...the most brilliant thing ever because the twinsies will be here before then and I can watch my show with them! 

No, Richard Hatch, you didn't get put in jail because you're gay. I think it had something to do with you not paying your taxes. It's like, illegal or something. Think about it for next time. 

What's up with hurricane season just now starting? Does it always start this late? I don't think it does. Not that I'm complaining...

My mom has forbade me from buying anything baby-ish until after my showers. That's a tough thing to do. Especially when there's SO MANY cute things on gap.com. What she doesn't know is that after our appointment on Monday, David's taking me shopping to get some baby stuff...just clothes, Mom...after we find out whether they're Phoebe's or Phoebo's. I can't stand it any more!!! Anyways. 

I've decided that a lot of the pregnancy "rules" are for the people who would abuse them anyway and I'm not one of those, so I ate some deli meat the other day and it was wonderful. I don't wear sunscreen every. single. time I walk outside. I drank hot chocolate last night. I play the banjo during the full moon (the FDA hasn't officially tested that one yet). 

I've updated my favorite movies list...Princess Bride, Braveheart, Drop Dead Fred, Jurassic Park, The Fall. Yeah, I'm not super deep when it comes to movies...but these make me happy. 

Night before last, I dreamed my sister was a cannibal. And she was slowly eating all of us while we slept, but we never knew it because she would sew us back up. Is that not the most morbid and disturbing thing ever? I told Sara about it yesterday...she laughed. I'm just saying...sleep with one eye open if she's in the house.  

Sometimes, I'll sing to the bebes...and I'm worried that the first thing they'll say when they come out is "Mom...shut...up...." 

I cut my bangs the other night and they look FABULOUS. And by "fabulous", I mean "they look okay." 

I would probably donate Seumas to a museum for freesies if someone would build a Chick-fil-A in town. All I want is a chicken breakfast biscuit. 

Okay people...have a good day...and use your blinkers. They save lives and save you from my wrath. 

Well...that's just dumb

So, I have a little day-by-day pregnancy book I go through...day-by-day...and it's pretty fun. It's very informative and a lot less scary than the What to Expect/Morbid Die book. The thing is...it's starting to get kind of bossy and well, really judgmental. And this isn't just my hormone-induced perception. I told my mom some of the stuff it was saying and she agrees with me. And just because my mom and I are the exact same person, just a few years apart, doesn't matter either. It's a super sassy book...which, normally, I would be like, hey, alright, my kind of book. But, this book, I just want to fight. 

For instance, the first few weeks, it was all like, "Your baby is blah blah ounces and he/she is starting to grow her vertebrae, etc." and "You probably don't want to eat a lot right now, so try drinking juice and mild whatever." You know...nice, helpful things. But now, it's like, "Your baby is blah blah ounces and he/she is affected by every single thing you say. Your child could become a serial killer if you watch too many Cold Case Files reruns." I'm like...nah ah...that's a lie, book. But, I'm still kind of like...well...huh. And then it's starting to say stuff like, "You know you're probably going to get stretch marks...because you eat so much. There's nothing you can do about it. So, eat away, fattie." And I know I'll get stretch marks and I really couldn't care less. If you're prone to get them, you'll get them and yeah, sure, lotions will help reduce them, but it's genes and whatever anyways. I'd like to see the stretch mark haters house another human being (or two) for 9 months. But, still, the book doesn't have to say it so harshly. Tact, please. 

And then, there's the ordeal of the legumes. Where it was at first telling me to eat whatever I could get down, now it's telling me I need to eat more legumes and vegetables high in fiber. Also, sugars are sooooo bad for you, so "stay away from the cookies and too much juice and sugary fruits, etc." I'm thinking, Oh, okay...YOU eat your legumes and fiber all day long and see how you like it...you freak. Legumes this and legumes that. Now, I like beans and peas, don't get me wrong...but I don't want two jolly green giants coming out. I'm a very healthy eater (mostly) and I want my kids to enjoy their lives...not eat cardboard for most of it. And, I'm FINALLY getting back to where I like sweet stuff again and I'm not going to miss it. Also, the Dollar General has their own version of girl scout cookies now for $1.50 a box...and they're AMAAAAAZING. So, eat that, day-by-day book.  

Suh-eriously

So...sorry I've been MIA for 47 years. Our internet went completely out Wednesday night due to some "network outage" in our area. By "internet outage," they mean "internet lie." We finally got it back up and running Saturday evening. Took a woman at our provider company to reestablish it for us. Finally, someone smart enough to get it working...turned out to be a woman. That's right. It's nice when you're on vacation and you have no connection to the outside world. Wonderful. But, it's not so wonderful when it's your livelihood and you really really really need the interwebs. Thankfully, my super sweet client is incredible and was totally understanding about it. I love you guys. Anyways. I'm back up and running now. 

Noah came to visit us this weekend before heading back up to school. Starting Friday about 5pm, David, Noah and I cleaned out the guest room and nursery and prepared both for a weekend o' painting. We headed to Lowe's and got the rest of the paint and supplies...which took for.e.ver but we got some good stuff, so it was worth it. Then, starting Saturday morning about 9am, we painted until 10 that night...stopping to eat and maybe watch the occasional Wipeout rerun. Sara and buddy Jeremy came over and helped us paint all day Saturday and I love them both for it. Sunday morning (yes, we skipped church), we got up again (barely) and painted, sawed, sanded, painted, nailed, painted, vacuumed, painted and painted and about 1opm last night...we finished. And it was good. Don't worry, all you über-moms, I wore a mask and the rooms were well-ventilated and Dr. Mac said I could paint, so I painted. 

I will never paint again. I don't think we will ever move out of this house. Too much blood, sweat and tears has gone into these hallowed halls...rooms...whatever. We only have like one hall. I am soooo happy someone else is installing the floors. I could not be happier with the rooms. But, thank goodness it's all done. Now, all I have left is the fun part...decorating. And how great was the weather this weekend...soooooo stinking nice. 

The best part is, when my internet was out, I got a head start on cleaning out the two rooms and organizing. I went through this little chest/stool my dad made me when I was a little girl (which will be in the nursery for the kiddos) and I found the most incredible stuff from the 80's/early 90's. Woo hoo! Shades and perm pick...what every gal needs. 

Troll dolls! EEEEEcccck...creep-o. I totally forgot I had these. 
Look at their eyes. It's like they're staring into my soul. I was going to throw them away, but I decided to keep them...might need them for Halloween one year. 

Anyways...as soon as I finish the rooms, I'll post pictures. 

Lub lub lub lub lub

On Sunday, Dad borrowed a Doppler from the hospital and we got to hear the babies' heartbeats again, which was super duper fun. We've learned that they've already developed completely different personalities despite being identical twins. I gave them iPods last month to congratulate them on graduating to their second trimester...it's amazing what they listen to in there. 

Here's the boring "real" heartbeats video. It's not as interesting. 

El Weekend

Friday night, we (Sara, David and I) drove south to the parents' house for a weekend of canoeing, shopping, and family-ing. Brother Noah heads back up to college this weekend and we thought it was a good time for us all to get together. Sara, David, Noah and my Dad (Peter had to work) all went canoeing with the youth group all day Saturday. It was too hot for me, although I wanted to go. I'm pretty amazing at outdoorsy stuff. I got letters every year in canoeing at summer camp. Yeah. So, Mom, Mamaw and I went shopping all day Saturday. I gotta say, that was more fun than canoeing would have been, I do believe. Saturday night, we played some board games. I'll go ahead and tell you, don't play Sara in a board game, she always wins. Or cheats. I haven't figured out which yet. 

Sunday after church, Dad suggested we head up to the hospital for lunch and to see if we could use the ultrasound machine to figure out if we could see if the babies had stuff or not. We were like, uhhh YES! Unfortunately, the technician had an emergency come in and they had to use the machine, but we still got to borrow the Doppler to hear the heartbeats again, which was fun fun. The babies have become more independent and one of them has swam over to the right. So, now my innards are symmetrical, which is nice, but it also means I feel them moving and sucker punching me on both sides. So, we still have to wait 2 weeks before we find out. Two weeks is an ETERNITY. I know that's a tad dramatic, but still. 

So, I've been asking around what people think the kiddos are. So far, it's about 50/50. My entire family on my Mom's side is insistent they are girls. All except my grandfather. He is ADAMANT they are boys. He's told me he's had several dreams about them being boys. My immediate family all says they're girls. The majority of our friends, minus about 2-3 says they're boys. I have no idea. I can't even guess. But, David is certain they're boys, so of course, I'm saying they're girls. We have an agreement. If they're girls, I get to hold the gun when we register and pick out all of the girly clothes. If they're boys, he gets to hold the gun and pick out all of the boy clothes. Seems fair to me. I want to put up one of those poll things to see what folks think, but I gotta find one that's not baby creepy. 

I realize this is the most boring post ever, but it was a busy weekend and well, I'm out of stuff for right now. I'll post the heartbeat video tomorrow. 

The Seumas Dog

I haven't posted many pictures of Seumas lately...mainly because Blue's pure evil demands a lot of attention. But Seumas is a sweet sweet puppy. A little demanding at times, but overall, a good person...ahem, dog. It's taken about two years, but he and Blue have become good buddies. She keeps him in his place and he loves to run and head-butt her, which she just adores, as you can guess. Here's some pictures from this summer. 

This is his summer "outfit." I think he looks like a greasy Miami mobster with loads of chest hair. All he needs now is a big gold chain and cigar. It's amazing how much joy spending $.25 at Target can bring you. 

This is his preferred method of napping. 

This is where he goes when he's in trouble. He starts out on the carpet and slinks and slides his way under the bed. It's pitiful.

"But, I didn't know you wanted the rest of your key lime pie. You don't look like you need it anyway...I was just trying to help, Mom." 

They've gotten to where they can finally lay down together.

The bonds of friendship span the galaxy and break down down the barriers of species. (I did not put their paws like this...it's amazing this happened on its own.) 

In the end, Blue's malevolence always wins. Tragically, another innocent life claimed by malice and hatred of all things good.

Random Facts About Me

I am a HUGE Star Trek fan. I do love me some Star Wars, but Star Trek takes it for me. And yes, I do believe that James T. Kirk can kick some skinny leather-panted Han Solo booty. Rant and rave all you want, this is my blog and my opinion. 

I have 7 tattoos (one of which is now covered up by another one, but I still count it because there were still needles.) Most people know about this. What you probably don't know about is my upper back tattoo...the dragon-bear fighting a two-headed wizard in front of a beautiful mountain range at sunset... with butterflies watching. It's amazing. 

This is more of a confession...Mom, one time, a long time ago, when Sara and I had the stomach flu...you were taking our temperatures and walked out of the room and while you were gone, Sara and I held our thermometers under my lamp so you'd let us stay home from school one more day. Whew! I feel much better now that I've gotten that off my chest. 

I got my first cell phone when I was 18 and I survived just fine without it the first 17 years. And I personally think it's ridiculous that 5 year olds are walking around with Blackberries. 

My dad pierced mine and my sister's ears. We'd beeeeeg Mom to let us add more holes (we have three in one ear and two in the other) and she'd say "okay" and drive us up to Dad's office (he's a doctor). He'd numb our ears up with lidocaine or xylocaine, whatever, and pop the stud through...made the most amazing noise. He's a good dad. 

I worked for 8 weeks total in Jamaica as a pharmacist's assistant on medical/dental mission trips. Because of this, I can read anybody's handwriting. I'm expecting a call from the FBI any day now. I also had to help the dentists hold down patients while they pulled teeth and performed surgery with very little anesthesia...I had to wear a blood shield. I also helped clean up the worm-infested vomit from little children and helped clean up insect burrows in people's heads. We ate Mamish water (goat intestines, tongue and lungs in water), goat and oatmeal mush. Good times. 

I am very adamantly pro-life. 

I get a small sense of satisfaction when I accidentally break a dish or glass. But then again, who doesn't? 

I can't stand it when people don't close their blinds/shutters/curtains at night and I'm over at their house. You know that burglars have eyes, right? If you want to walk around all vulnerable in your house, that's fine...just wait until I leave. That's why when you come to my house at night, it's like a fortress. I trust no one. (chuck chuck...that's me arming the shot gun). 

I am very, very, very immature. That's why I haven't signed up for the breast feeding class at the hospital yet. It's hard for me to even type that without giggling. 

I never skipped a single class in college. I tried to once...my roommate was in the same class and I was going to borrow her notes. But I woke up and I couldn't do it, so I went. It was for American Literature...taught by an extreeeeeeeme feminist, so it would have been the one class I would have wanted to skip, but my conscience wouldn't let me. 

I think bats are SO stinking cute. I'm not going to try and catch one or anything...I'm just saying.

I am not a crafty person. Most people think I should be, but I'm not. I can't even cut a straight line with scissors. I can barely use a glue stick. Martha Stewart would hate me. 

I can give you a Friends reference for any moment in life. 

I have a very high IQ...it's like 207 or something. 

I make up stuff a lot, but almost everything I say is true.

David and I didn't kiss until we had been dating for two years. How 1800's is that. We were each other's first kiss. (giggle giggle) Now, we make out all the time. (tee hee)

I LOVE Lisa Frank and Hello Kitty. I don't think girls every get tired of that. 

When I was maybe 9-12 or so, I never even bothered to check to see if my undies were on backwards or inside out...I just grabbed something and put them on. And Mom would be like, "Ruth...take the time to dress yourself properly." And I'd be like, "Laaaame." And she would make me check and I would do it so often that if they were, in fact, backwards or inside out, she'd make me pay her $1 each time. I probably put around $100 towards my underwear's college fund during those years. That's why it takes me forever to get dressed now...I'm very careful to make sure everything is in the right place. I don't want to pay Mom any more money.

I loathe little girl beauty pageants. Just watch Toddlers and Tiaras and you'll understand. I'm fine with beauty pageants in general. If you daughter wants to be in them, that's cool, just dress them like a little girl...not like a snow beast. If you're putting your daughter through all of that...teased hair, more make-up than a drag queen, fake teeth (FAKE TEETH!!), horrendous outfits that cost more than a mortgage, ridiculous hours that a child shouldn't have to suffer through, and provocative dancing all to "wow" the judges...then it should be something they want to do and it shouldn't be for you. So, if your daughter doesn't win and she's fine with it, but you're in the corner BAWLING your eyes out, rocking in the fetal position saying "why? why? why didn't we win? I don't understand!," then maybe you should rethink your reasons for entering her. And seriously, your daughter looks like a Wampa from the ice planet Hoth. She's 4. 

I could eat cereal for every meal...every day...and be totally fine. That's not a pregnancy thing...that's a Ruth thing. 

I haven't had a caffeinated drink (other than the occasional hot chocolate during the winter) since 2000. I really, really, really miss Dr. Pepper and sweet tea. 

I have no idea how to sew. So, if we're stranded on a deserted island and we're all given duties...don't put me on clothes-making duty because you'll all be wearing coconut tops and banana leaf bottoms.