I have 7 tattoos (one of which is now covered up by another one, but I still count it because there were still needles.) Most people know about this. What you probably don't know about is my upper back tattoo...the dragon-bear fighting a two-headed wizard in front of a beautiful mountain range at sunset... with butterflies watching. It's amazing.
This is more of a confession...Mom, one time, a long time ago, when Sara and I had the stomach flu...you were taking our temperatures and walked out of the room and while you were gone, Sara and I held our thermometers under my lamp so you'd let us stay home from school one more day. Whew! I feel much better now that I've gotten that off my chest.
I got my first cell phone when I was 18 and I survived just fine without it the first 17 years. And I personally think it's ridiculous that 5 year olds are walking around with Blackberries.
My dad pierced mine and my sister's ears. We'd beeeeeg Mom to let us add more holes (we have three in one ear and two in the other) and she'd say "okay" and drive us up to Dad's office (he's a doctor). He'd numb our ears up with lidocaine or xylocaine, whatever, and pop the stud through...made the most amazing noise. He's a good dad.
I worked for 8 weeks total in Jamaica as a pharmacist's assistant on medical/dental mission trips. Because of this, I can read anybody's handwriting. I'm expecting a call from the FBI any day now. I also had to help the dentists hold down patients while they pulled teeth and performed surgery with very little anesthesia...I had to wear a blood shield. I also helped clean up the worm-infested vomit from little children and helped clean up insect burrows in people's heads. We ate Mamish water (goat intestines, tongue and lungs in water), goat and oatmeal mush. Good times.
I am very adamantly pro-life.
I get a small sense of satisfaction when I accidentally break a dish or glass. But then again, who doesn't?
I can't stand it when people don't close their blinds/shutters/curtains at night and I'm over at their house. You know that burglars have eyes, right? If you want to walk around all vulnerable in your house, that's fine...just wait until I leave. That's why when you come to my house at night, it's like a fortress. I trust no one. (chuck chuck...that's me arming the shot gun).
I am very, very, very immature. That's why I haven't signed up for the breast feeding class at the hospital yet. It's hard for me to even type that without giggling.
I never skipped a single class in college. I tried to once...my roommate was in the same class and I was going to borrow her notes. But I woke up and I couldn't do it, so I went. It was for American Literature...taught by an extreeeeeeeme feminist, so it would have been the one class I would have wanted to skip, but my conscience wouldn't let me.
I think bats are SO stinking cute. I'm not going to try and catch one or anything...I'm just saying.
I am not a crafty person. Most people think I should be, but I'm not. I can't even cut a straight line with scissors. I can barely use a glue stick. Martha Stewart would hate me.
I can give you a Friends reference for any moment in life.
I have a very high IQ...it's like 207 or something.
I make up stuff a lot, but almost everything I say is true.
David and I didn't kiss until we had been dating for two years. How 1800's is that. We were each other's first kiss. (giggle giggle) Now, we make out all the time. (tee hee)
I LOVE Lisa Frank and Hello Kitty. I don't think girls every get tired of that.
When I was maybe 9-12 or so, I never even bothered to check to see if my undies were on backwards or inside out...I just grabbed something and put them on. And Mom would be like, "Ruth...take the time to dress yourself properly." And I'd be like, "Laaaame." And she would make me check and I would do it so often that if they were, in fact, backwards or inside out, she'd make me pay her $1 each time. I probably put around $100 towards my underwear's college fund during those years. That's why it takes me forever to get dressed now...I'm very careful to make sure everything is in the right place. I don't want to pay Mom any more money.
I loathe little girl beauty pageants. Just watch Toddlers and Tiaras and you'll understand. I'm fine with beauty pageants in general. If you daughter wants to be in them, that's cool, just dress them like a little girl...not like a snow beast. If you're putting your daughter through all of that...teased hair, more make-up than a drag queen, fake teeth (FAKE TEETH!!), horrendous outfits that cost more than a mortgage, ridiculous hours that a child shouldn't have to suffer through, and provocative dancing all to "wow" the judges...then it should be something they want to do and it shouldn't be for you. So, if your daughter doesn't win and she's fine with it, but you're in the corner BAWLING your eyes out, rocking in the fetal position saying "why? why? why didn't we win? I don't understand!," then maybe you should rethink your reasons for entering her. And seriously, your daughter looks like a Wampa from the ice planet Hoth. She's 4.
I could eat cereal for every meal...every day...and be totally fine. That's not a pregnancy thing...that's a Ruth thing.
I haven't had a caffeinated drink (other than the occasional hot chocolate during the winter) since 2000. I really, really, really miss Dr. Pepper and sweet tea.
I have no idea how to sew. So, if we're stranded on a deserted island and we're all given duties...don't put me on clothes-making duty because you'll all be wearing coconut tops and banana leaf bottoms.