Little Brother Noah

(just so you know, I wrote this with his permission)

I have two younger brothers...the oldest of the two is Noah. Noah is in college. Noah is a smart boy...a very smart boy. However, Noah can't spell very well (bless his heart) nor can he use commas correctly. So, my mom makes me proofread his papers. When I say "makes," I mean she asks me politely to read over them because "Noah is just a baby and Ruth, just help him. I mean, he's just a baby boy." So, yeah. Well, he's a junior now, so I've had a few papers to read through in the past two and a half years. 

Noah is a very good writer, he really is. He just struggles with sentence structure and grammar sometimes. I've come to appreciate being able to proofread Noah's papers, because, not only are they informational, they are very entertaining. I'll curl up with a cup 'o David's hot chocolate and one of Noah's papers over a movie any day of the week. Noah's like me...he tries to speak and talk as quickly as he thinks. And since he and I are both geniuses, we think pretty fast. That's why my typing has a lot of these............and that's why I have a lot of run-on sentences....and that's why a lot of what I say or type doesn't make sense...and that's why I collapse in a pile of drool when I'm talking to people. Anyways. Sometimes his brain is processing information so quickly, that his sentences kind of poop out on him and they end in nonsense. Sometimes it's whole paragraphs...leaving you scratching your head like "what did I just read?" Also, he writes the dadburn things at 3 am, so he's half asleep when he sends them to me.

I wanted you to enjoy the bliss I've experienced from reading little Noah's papers and I'm including a selection of my favorite sentences below. These were all corrected before he turned them in, btw. 

From his paper about soldiers during the Civil War:

"Soldiers were required to sleep in dirty camps filled with germs and dirt."

(Dirty camps are filled with dirt...I had no idea.)

"What would cause two brothers, on opposing sides of the war, to face each other on the battlefield and point their guns at each other dead?"

(It was a nice sentence and then dead.)

From one of his book reports:

"The beginning and end of this book were much like the beginning and end of a journey that corresponds with the beginning and end of this book."

(Nice.)

From his paper about the movie Elizabeth:

"However, when there are shots of the crowds, it is obvious that the majority of people were very poor, which correlates with 16th century England, as most people were very poor."

(We understand that most people were very poor.)

"The movie is filled with many plots and subplots that are filled with subplots that are filled with secrets and romance."

(That movie is gonna be full with all that filling.)

"The film also shows her living a life of luxury and leisure proven by the fact that Queen Elizabeth had many balls and dances."

(Well...alrighty then.)