Is it just me...

...or do you freak out and think you're color blind when you're at a red light and it turns green, but the car beside you doesn't start moving along with you. So, you pause for a second and stare hard at the light to make sure it's green and yes, it's green, but the other car still isn't moving and you don't want to be the idiot that goes on a red light. You start wondering, am I just seeing green? Then, you look over and realize that the other driver is a 16-year old texter not paying attention and you smirk their way and drive on through...feeling good about the fact that there are 16-year olds out there texting at red lights, making you question your color judgment. 

...or do you eat WAY too may tortilla chips at a Mexican restaurant before they bring your real food and by the time it gets there, you're so full, you eat maybe 2 bites and then ask for a to-go box and the waiter looks at you like "Really? That's all you're eating?" And it makes you feel wasteful. And you want to say, "It's cuz of your tortilla chips!" Those chips are devious...and wonderful. 

...or should weather.com be changed to lie.com...run by a colony of liars? 

...or does the new G.I. Joe movie look absolutely ridiculous? (I know every guy in America just heard me say that...I'm sure it reverberated through their souls.) Well, it does. I'm sorry. It should be called G.I. Lame. That's not what the real G.I. Joes looked like. Believe me, I know. My brothers' G.I. Joes recruited mine and Sara's Barbies for many missions in the back yard...and used their Convertible as the enemy tank.

...or is the new cop in town pretty cute? He's no Davey Pooh, but he's not an ugo either. I'm going to call him Officer McCutie. 

...or do you just love school supplies? I'm not even going to school or have kids going to school, but I want to go fill up a backpack with pencils and erasers and markers and tape and scissors. That was one of my favorite things about going to school...even in college. I love school supplies. This time of year always makes me happy. Also because the kids are gone and not riding their bikes down my hill. 

...or are the people at Publix the nicest people on Earth? Their produce is excellent and the people are friendly...why would you shop anywhere else? 

...or should Cadbury Eggs (the cream ones) be available all year long? Why are they not? It's really unfair. I'm going to write them a letter. 

...or is the Fall taking forever to get here? 

...or are you bewildered as to why they built a Taco Bell in town instead of something like, I dunno, a Chick-fil-A? Do people even eat at Taco Bells anymore? That's just me being snobby. I've never liked Taco Bell and I'm upset they didn't built something more...good. 

Why? (part 3)

We painted the dining room and new office space this weekend...and by "we" I mean Sara and David painted and I supervised from a safe and well-ventilated distance. I did don a mask later and helped touch up the trim. I must say, I am very very very happy with the colors and they did a fabulous job of painting. It looks sooooo much better. The floors and countertops are being measured today and then in two weekends, we'll paint the guest room and nursery and then DONE! (Except for the nursery, which we'll probably furnish in the fall sometime) Sigh...can't wait. Anyways. I haven't done a "Why" post in awhile, so I thought today was a good day for one. 

Why would you have such long fingernails when you work at the paint counter at Home Depot? That just seems like a lot of trouble. 

Why is Waffle House sooooo delicious? 

Why do the mushrooms in our neighbor's yard always make me think of Alice in Wonderland? 

Why are you so mean, old man at Target? Being rude and grumpy doesn't get you ahead in line any faster, so calm yourself down! 

Why are you spending WAY too long in the college furniture section trying to decide between espresso and oak when your daughter will be in her room maybe 3 hours a day and that side table will be covered by clothes and books within 5 minutes anyway? Pick a color and move along. Some of us have to get our carts through the aisle. 

Why does Giada deLaurentiis kind of get on my nerves and yet why can't I stop watching her show?

Why would I want you to stop me in the middle of the mall and start straightening my hair? #1. Don't touch me. Or my hair. #2. You can't just grab people and expect them to be okay with it. #3. Your product is dumb. #4. I will beat you with the straightening iron. 

Why would you spit your gum out in a public area...even grass? People walk there, you know. What, are you five? How about you be an adult and throw it away or hey, swallow it. That whole "takes 3 years to pass" is a lie. You'll pass it soon enough...painlessly. And it prevents you from getting a gum-covered shoe thrown at your head. 

Why am I so grouchy today? Ah, who cares. 

Why is the What to Expect pregnancy book so scary? I'm not reading that one anymore. I'm going to start reading Butterflies and Rainbows...because it's a happy book. 

Why am I so terrified of getting my kids home and mixing their names up? I mean, nobody but God will know, right? Ah, still...it's a fear. 

Why do girls have to shave their legs and not guys? Uh, not fair. 

Why do I really really really still want Waffle House? 

Housey House

We got to thinking about colors for the nursery the other day. We do plan on finding out if the squatters are mens or ladies, but I'm not super huge on pastel pinks and blues or anything related. So, either way, we decided to do everything in neutral colors. No theme...#1, I can't think of a theme and #2, anything I DID think of would be silly and probably give them nightmares. So, no theme! (said in the voice of Edna) 

Anyways. The nursery has pretty high ceilings, which is going to be a paaaaaain to paint. So, I told David, "Why don't we just do a whole bunch of painting and get everything we want done...done." He liked that idea and I've been wanting to paint the dining room, guest bedroom and office space, so we figured if we're going to be doing a lot of painting, might as well do it all. Then we got to talking about the floors. I'm not a fan of carpet. David loves carpet. So, he's letting me put new floors down in the whole house as long as I leave the carpet in the bedroom. Gag, but it's a good compromise. So, I've picked out some fabulous bamboo hardwoods that I just want to hug because they're pretty and tropical-y. (And cheaper than some of the laminate...whaaaaaat? I know, right.) 

Then, I decided I hate the kitchen. (I've been watching WAY too much HGTV, btw.) So, new countertops, backsplash and decluttering...sooooooo excited about that. Our kitchen isn't huge at all, so making it look pretty wont' be too hard and David loves to cook so I want it to be nice for him. 

Then, David decided he wants to transform the backyard. He loves loves loves decks, so he wants to build one with some raised planters and maybe a little fountain. How cute is that. So, I told him he could do whatever he wanted with the yard if I could pick out the floors and paint colors. (He would have let me do it anyway, because he's a sweetie pie.) 

We're headed to Home Depot on Saturday to talk about everything with some guy there, because there's nooooo way we can put down hardwoods or countertops ourselves. I'll post up before and after pictures. I know Shane really wants to see those. We are painting this weekend, so if you're bored or like to paint, stop on by and grab a brush. I'm making cookies...or something. And we have water you can drink. 

I don't know how this turned into a home improvement post...I lost a lot of sleep over it last night just thinking about stuff...so I thought I'd drag y'all into it with me. :)

What Would You Do for Some Chick-fil-A?

Well, I would drive 18 minutes in my pajamas, doofy hat and no make-up just for some chicken nugget goodness and then 18 minutes back. Totally worth it. 

The lemon babies started knocking the other day and yelled up at me, "Hello, Incubator." I replied with a "What?" They proceeded to tell me, "Well, we'd like some Chick-fil-A...how 'bout you get on that?" I said, "You know what...I kind of want some, too. Let's go!" So off we went. We fought over what to order, but I won in the end, seeing as how I'm the one with the most developed motor skills and a checking account. We got a #5...8-piece nuggets, waffle fries and a Sprite. Perfect.

Don't be jealous of my styyyyyyle. 
You know you want a hat like this. $2 at Old Navy...got it maybe 8 years ago, I think. 
Look at that...just waiting for me.

Oh, #5, you've never looked so good. 

The price of happiness, you ask = $5.82

(Mom, chill out, I took the pictures while I was parked.)

Mono and Di

On Monday, I had my 14-week check-up at the doctor's. We got to hear the heartbeats for the first time...THAT was a lot of fun. Nurse Lady loaded mah belly up with that jelly stuff and fished away. She found the first one super fast and it was loud. I thought it was my heartbeat. Then, she fished away for the other one and couldn't find it for a second. I got a little nervous, said a prayer and then Nurse Lady goes, "Ohh, there he is. He was hiding behind the other one. Ha ha. That's sweet." And I'm like, "Yeah, sweet." And then I inner-monologued scolded the kids, "I told you not to hide from your mother. You come when I call, understand?" So, they're both hanging out on my left side, which is weird. AND, it confirms that I have, in fact, been feeling them move for a little while now. Always on my left side, down low, and that's right where she found the heartbeats. So, boo-yah in your face, websites that said I couldn't feel them until I was about 18 weeks. Nurse Lady said they were moving around a lot and I made sure they weren't going to grow into some abnormal lump just on my left side and she assured me they would "spread out" once they got bigger and because I sleep on my left side the most, they settle down there, so whatever. 

I wish I could have heard them for longer, but Nurse Lady was like, "okay, they're both doing really good" and she headed out. Dr. Mac came in and said that I was doing great and the babies had good growth and he was proud that I had gained 2 pounds (7 pounds total!). He proceeded to tell me that all of my bloodwork (from when Dracul-Nurse drained half my blood the last time) came back excellent and that I didn't have hepatitis (that's good), syphilis (that's good, too), and that my German measles shot I had when I was 5 is still working (I was worried about that...those measles, man, I'm telling you). He then mentioned that since David and I both have negative blood-types that I won't have to have the Rh shot. And I said, "See, two negatives make a positive." But, nobody got it. I thought it was funny...at least in my head.  

ANYWAYS. Before the heartbeats and the blood talk, we met with Nurse Lady to update my charts and progress. She was going through my file on the computer and my name came up and under that was "Twins" and "Due Date" with the information filled in. But beside "Twins" it just said "Mono/Di." Nurse Lady stopped and kind of looked confused for a second and then looked at us and said..."Is that what y'all are naming them...Mono and Di?" Then I looked confused like..."Seriously?" And then realized what was going on and said, "No no no, that's the type of twins they are. Mono/Di. We don't know if they're boys or girls yet." And she sat back with the BIGGEST sigh of relief and said, "Ooooooooooooooooh, HONEY...I was about to SAY. I was thinking, 'Di is a good name, but MONO??' I thought y'all was crazy folks or something...naming your kid Mono. Whew...that's a relief." So, we laughed about Mono and Di...the twins. It's easier to say than Charleston and Bermuda, for sure. But, we already have names picked out. Now we just got to find out if they've got the stuff or not. 

Adventures with Zofran

Zofran came with me to the beach. I didn't want to take him because he packs so much for trips, but he insisted in case I needed him. So, along he came and he didn't take up too much room. We ended up having a great time together and I only needed him once. 

We ate at a nice seafood restaurant. I got crab-stuffed roasted chicken with rice and corn and Zofran got chicken fingers. Who goes to a nice seafood restaurant and gets chicken fingers (other than my sister)? Oh well. 

Since David couldn't be there, Zofran watched the sunset with me. It was beautiful.

We laid out for awhile and got some good sun.

Zofran wanted me to bury him in the sand and make him into a merman, but I reminded him, "Remember what lurks under the surface of our sugary white sands?" (He had a traumatic experience with sand crabs a few years ago...it was very difficult for him...doesn't like to talk about it.) So, when my feet got burned and I was done tanning, he got up on the bamboo mat and laid out some more.

At night, we curled up with Stephen Lawhead's Hood. I think that's going to be a good book. We're excited about finishing it. 

The water was so clear and felt wonderful, so we swam a lot.

The waves got to be a little too much for Zofran, so we headed back up a little bit to build a drip castle. 

I wish I had a picture of our finished drip castle. It was fantastic. But alas, just as I predicted, Bratty McPunkerson – the 4-year old son of the family gathered next to us on the beach – decided our castle would look better if he wallowed all around in it, so he did...whilst his family was watching and laughing at how cute he was. I thought it'd be extra cute if he trotted on over to where I was sitting...and tripped into the sand pit I had thoughtfully dug for him. Just as a side note, folks...it's never cute to let your kid be a brat. Some people like their sand castles, so teach them at an early age that stepping on other people's sand castles will make people like me collect sand crabs and train them to wait in the dungeons of the castles for the unsuspecting feet of kids who step on aforementioned castles. I know kids will be kids, but don't encourage them to do it...because I, along with my army of sand crab minions, will be waiting.  

Anyways. 

The beach was a lot of fun and I'm glad Zofran came with me!

Gals, Le Beach, and Guys In Red Speedos

Wednesday night, I drive South to my parents' house and then on to the beach in the morning to meet up with David's mom (Mom2) and sisters (LauraGrace and Rebecca...I call them Gray and Bex in my head cuz it's rock star) for an all-gal's beach retreat. It was sooo much fun. My shoulders and the tops of my feet are saying ouch right now, but I don't listen to them. I listen to the call of the sun. This was the first time in about 2 months that I didn't feel nauseated at least part of the day. I think it was a mixture of the fact that I'M FINALLY GETTING OVER IT and the amazing perfectness of the beach. The beach heals everything. 

So, here's some pictures. Y'all know I like to take pictures of waves and feet, so...there are some of those. And it was getting dark and I hate flashes, so these are kind of grainy. 

This is Umbry...our umbrella. He provided us with some good shade. 

This is Mom2 (on the right) and LG (on the left). And Rebecca in the hat. 

Our little beach station. 

Bex taking some pictures.

Me, the twins, LauraGrace, Rebecca and Mom2 built a fabulous drip castle. 

Ignore the chub. It was an all-girls vacation and I can wear whatever I want.

Shelling. We found some really good ones. 

We were shelling and we look up and see this oddity. Were they European, were they on a swim team, were they just ridiculous? I'm going to go with D. All of the above. I think I have a closer (stalker) picture...let me see...

Yes. Yes, I do.

Ahhh...le beach....

Ahhh...le beach on my feets...