Swinging

This past weekend was Bryan's (Sara's man) daughter, Virginia Kate's, birthday party. So, we headed on over the park to celebrate. Stupid me didn't bring a regular camera. But nobody told me that park had the COOLEST PLAYGROUND EVER. It was like a castle fort and it was about the size of the Biltmore Estate. I'm not exaggerating. I never exaggerate. Oh, to be a kid again and play on that thing!

They had some baby swings...you know, the bucket seats. We've never taken the girls swinging, so we figured we'd give it a shot. Oh my gosh, David is already planning the swing set he's going to build in the backyard, because they LOVED it. Their faces lit up. It took Harper just a second to be cool about it, but then she squealed and kicked her legs like she was running so fast. It was so much fun. The sun came back out from behind a cloud, so it got hot and I hated taking them out to go get in the shade. But we're definitely swinging again ASAP.

Piper Lee has learned to cluck her tongue.

So, how about Glee was kind of blah last night. A tad disappointing. It was hyped up to be this huge, amazing Britney Spears episode and they had to keep her appearance under wraps on a closed set, etc. But, she was in it for only a second. But, Brittany S. Pearce...maaaaan, that girl can DANCE.

Harper has come to the realization that she is a big girl now and wants to spread her wings and fly...well, stand. She's been pulling up to standing on stuff for awhile now, but yesterday, I peek over to find PL playing the piano and Harper standing up beside her looking at me like, "What do I do now? I've gotten myself into this, how do I get out?" So, I went over and taught her how to sit back down.

And Piper teleports. I honestly believe that. She can get from one side of the room to the other in under 2.3 seconds and I have no idea how she does it. I've never actually seen her crawl forward. She crawls backwards a lot and she does the leg scoot, but usually in circles, so I dunno. Mom says she levitates. Well, she's doing something. She's faster than Harper.

My parents were able to stop by yesterday morning for a little bit on their way home. They landed at the airport late Monday night, coming back from their West Coast trip. Oh my goodness, they got the girls the CUTEST sock monkey winter toboggans from San Francisco. I laughed so hard. Completely ridiculous and oh, so irresistible. I cannot WAIT for cooler weather.

Speaking of weather, it's been so nice outside lately, that I've been able to start up walking again with the girls. Oh, how I've missed that. I've had serious cabin fever all steaming hot Summer long. It was too hot to do anything with them outside and the only time I went outside Monday through Friday was to check the mail. But yesterday, we went for a 4.5 mile walk and it was wonderful. I can't even tell you. Those of you who are stuck inside all day know what a simple walk outside can do for your soul. I used to work at a company that allowed you to take two 15-minute breaks each day in addition to your lunch. And there was a walking trail nearby and several of us would walk just to get out. It was marvelous. I have got to think of new superlatives.

Anyways. YAY FOR FALL!!

MRSA!!!!!

Haha, I's just kiddin'. Well, we went to the doctor yesterday, and after witnessing a fabulous drama unfold at the reception desk between an incredibly rude receptionist and completely distraught mother, we found out that Piper Lee had, basically, a huge infected zit. Awesome.

He took a look at it and decided to pop it. Blegh. I waited over in the corner while David held her down and Dr. Reminds took a needle to it. If it were anyone other than one of my kids, I totally would have watched. He got some of the pus (extra blegh) and sent it off to the lab to make for sure it wasn't the "bad" staph or MRSA. He said babies getting these "boils" (that's like, a Biblical term) was really common. I feel like they say that about everything, though. "Yes, it's extremely common for babies to have 27 toes." Who knows. But, he prescribed her an antibiotic, just in case...so, now Pipes is on the drugs for 10 days. My little user. The difference from last night and this morning is remarkable, so I'm happy about that. Poor gal...not even a teenager and already dealing with zits.

I stopped by Walgreens on the way home to pick up her prescription and David took the girls on to the house (he was able to get off work and meet me at the doctor's office...praise God for an understanding employer). I took the paper up to the pharmacy window and the guy was super nice and said he'd have it ready in a second. That was fine. I needed to get a few things anyway. That "second" turned into 20 minutes. I got bored and took some pictures.

School supplies...one of my top 5 favorite things. I CANNOT WAIT for the girls' first day of school. Not that I'm wanting to rush their childhood...I'm just saying I'm really looking forward to shopping for school supplies.

Why? I mean...why? Here's the deal...inflatables are fine. Our neighbors own stock in the inflatable industry. You know, our neighborhood is considered the Inflatable Capital of the World starting football season through December 31. But this cat is ginormous and will come alive and eat your house.

I've never tried Bumpits (which looks like "Armpits" to me) and I'm sure they work fine, but you have to admit...their commercials are ridiculous.

So, I'm about to winterize my hair. During the Fall/Winter, I just go au natural, no highlights. I add highlights around April because, then, it's like, "Oh, Ruth...you've been to the islands." "Why, yes. I have." Except now you all know that I was not at the islands. Oh well. But I've been thinking about adding some colored streaks this Fall/Winter. Did you see the latest Anthropologie magazine? The one with the horses. There's a model with colored streaks in her hair and it looks awwweeessssoooommmeeeee. So, I'm gonna (try to) do it. On the box, it says "for subtle highlights, add to unbleached hair" and that's what I'm going to do.

I was about to take a picture of some questionable children's costumes until an equally questionably creepy store employee rounded the corner and said, "Are you ready to check out?" I realized I probably looked mildly suspicious walking around for 20 minutes with the same items in my hand, taking pictures with my phone. "No...no...I just like to keep inventory of the store," I said. Actually, I told her I was waiting on a prescription to be filled and then I remembered MY PRESCRIPTION! I've been here for a decade, where is my dadgum medicine? So, I went back to the counter and made myself obvious. The pharmacist was like, "OH! Ma'am! I'm so sorry. Your order is ready. I forgot to page you. I'm horrible about forgetting to page people." Well...hmmm...maybe we should work on that. He was nice, though.

So, Pipes is fine. Thank you all SO much for your prayers. We go back again next week for their 9-month appointment. Mrs. Micki, I was gonna see if you wanted us to stop by on Tuesday. Will you be there? You've kept your end of the deal with the Firebeard secret. Hehe.

While we waited for Dr. Reminds, Piper Lee performed a little number for us.

And that's why her Indian name is Galloping Horse.

Monday, I Wanna Punch You In The Face.

So, I had planned a huge big post this morning, but I'm too distraught to do anything. We found a bump on Piper Lee's leg on Saturday (up high) and thought "Hmmm...maybe mosquito bite??" Yesterday, it was still the same. I kept Aquaphor, the wonder stuff, on it and kept it clean...no biggie. But this morning, it's more red and a little warm to the touch and is kind of like a hard knot. So, we're taking her to the doctor as soon as the office opens. All of my immediate medical personnel are away today, OF ALL DAYS! Mom and Dad are finishing up a cruise on the West Coast. They're in San Diego today. And Sara is up in Chicargo.

I am actually sick to my stomach because, it's like, it's your baby, you know. And watch it be a mosquito bite that got irritated, and I pray that's all it is. But then I'm like, what if it's MRSA? Or what if a spider laid eggs in her leg? Or what if aliens implanted a tracking device? I could sit here and drain an abscess from my own arm (ooooh, that's sooo grosss! I would never actually do that), but the thought of my sweet girl being in any pain or discomfort at all makes me want to throw up. And she seems totally fine. She's in there talking to an elephant right now. Not a real elephant...they're not allowed inside...but she seems completely happy. Ugh, still. I want today to be over. Mondays should be illegal in all 50 states and the world.

I'll let you guys know tomorrow how it goes. Please pray I'm just freaking out over nothing.

Sisters

Sisters are a pretty incredible thing. If you had a sister growing up, count yourself blessed. If you didn't have a sister growing up, count yourself blessed. There are advantages and disadvantages. The advantages don't usually come until you're both out of high school and realize just how ridiculous you were growing up. I think God created sisters to help build character, make you learn to defend yourself in a fist fight, have a friend that lives at home with you, and have someone to steal clothes from...just a few of many reasons.

Sara and I weren't always the best of friends. We're two years apart. SHE'S THE OLDER ONE. Close enough in age that we wanted to do similar things, but far enough apart that it was lame to have your little or older sister tagging along. As far as stealing...ahem, borrowing...clothes goes, I always tried, but she's like 6 feet taller than me, so nothing ever fit. But I borrowed purses and hats and scarves and jewelry and backpacks. I'm pretty sure I returned all of it...probably. We were definitely the stereotypical childhood sisters. I was perfect. She was mean and bossy and wouldn't let me hang out with her or any of her friends. If you ask her, she might tell you that I was an obnoxious little sister...doing things like listening in on her phone conversations, saying stuff like "she's out on the porch holding hands with her boyfriend" when her real boyfriend called, hogging the dial-up modem so she couldn't call anybody while I chatted with David on ICQ (remember that?? Oh, the 90's), and dumping cold water on her while she was in the shower. But, she'd be lying. I never did any of that.

Here ARE some things I did...

One summer on a mission trip, Sara was taking a shower and I snuck in to scare her. The curtains were completely opaque, so I struck blindly and stabbed her in the eye with my finger. Her eye started bleeding, it was all an ordeal, and she looked like Rocky for about a month.

I snuck in the back of her car and hid in the floorboard while her and her boyfriend had the DTR talk in the front seats. So awkward and funny how serious 15-year olds can be.

About 2.7 seconds after Sara got her sweet sixteen present, a Chevy Cavalier, she backed into the youth pastor's car. I pointed and laughed and said, "Ohhhh, you're in SO much trouble." Truth is, yes she was driving, but I was messing with the radio and she kept telling me to leave it alone, but I really wanted to listen to WKMX, but nooooooo, she just had to–CRUNCH! Oh, Sara. That was a funny night.

I would get those bug exoskeletons that stick to trees in the Fall, whatever those things are, and put them all in her closet and bed and towels in the bathroom. Or, just up on her shoulder as we were walking into the church sanctuary on Sunday mornings.

If I was really mad at her in the pool, I would swim away and "accidentally" kick the ever living stew out of her. She would yell and cry to Mom and Dad, who would end up saying, "Ruth stop kicking your sister blah blah." And I'd be like, "She's the one that insists on swimming right next to me. I gotta have my space. I gotta be free."

We'd go hiking out in the woods a lot in the Fall and Winter and we'd wear these huge galoshes...which, as I type that word, I realize we said it wrong growing up...we called them "galoshers" which sounds way more like rubber boots than "galoshes." That just sounds like a toilet flushing. Anyway. There was this place in the woods we called The Mud Factory. Basically, just a huge pit of mud. It was very easy to get your boots stuck and if you were walking fast and then a boot got stuck, you'd keep on walking and pull your socked foot straight out of the boot and right into the mud. We probably did that at least twice a week. Mom would always say to help each other, but ha, it was too much fun to watch the other just stand there in misery. So, I never helped. But, she never helped either!!

Which leads me to what she did to ME...

She told me a giant, evil octopus lived under my bed. Which is why, to this day, I take a little jump to get into bed...so the tentacles won't grab me and suck me under.

She also told me that It the Clown lived in my closet.

She told me there was an unconnected hand that roamed the hallways at night and, if you listened closely, you could hear the pitter patter of fingertips dancing eerily at midnight. I tried to humanize it by naming it Mike. It helped.

One time, I was being a brat (by brat, I mean perfect angel) when Mom assigned me a 1-page essay to write for English. I walked into the kitchen and, "under my breath" but loud enough for Sara to hear, I said, "This sucks." (Sara, WHYYYYYYY??) She said, "Ruth, don't say that!" Of course, Mom comes in and says, "What did she say?" Sara told and I was then assigned a 50-page paper on Seeing Eye Dogs.

She used to tell me the names I came up with for our cats were stupid. Rainbow, Starlight Starbright, Rainbow Bright, Star all seemed like perfectly good names for cats. Oh, but yeah, her cat, Nappy, had a name that made people swoon at the mere sound of it. (We now name them normal things...like Flea, Bob, Buck, Grey Cat.)

She would turn the phone on and off when I was on the internet because if you did it enough times, it would disconnect the modem. (I would do the same to her, but that's beside the point.)

We were playing football in the front yard with some friends. It was supposed to be TAG FOOTBALL, but she took that to mean tackle. And tackle she did. Her knee directly on my tailbone. You'd think a hairline fracture wouldn't be a huge deal. On your fanny, it's a huge deal. I couldn't sit for weeks. I couldn't sleep on my back. It took me about an hour to get out of bed. That was 14 years ago and I still can't sit in a chair for very long without it starting to hurt.

She borrowed a pair of Abercrombie shorts when I was 14 and I still haven't gotten them back.

Yeah, she was a much better sister than me, I'll admit. We never actually fought (scratching, biting, pulling hair). We were above that. But, we argued a lot and called each other stuff. I called her "a butt" one time and I got in SO much trouble. Now, we have several endearing nicknames for each other that you can ask us about in person, but I won't put them on here. Let's just say that Mom gets all "Giiirls, I can't believe you call each other that in public! People may not know you're joking!" But, that's what makes it funny! We usually just stick to "Sistah", though.

I think it was when she went off to college that we became friends. Finally got her out of the house and had it all to myself (except for the pesky brothers) and then realized I missed her.

She's the only person that won't laugh at me when I wear my coonskin hat. Mainly because she has one, too. But also because she realizes how awesome it is. If you look closely, you can see our Davey Crockett vests, complete with tassels, and you can see plastic knives and cap guns shoved into our shorts. You can also see the kittens pleading for their lives as we strangle/hug them.

The girls were born at 4 a.m. Malinda stayed with us until 2 a.m. when we sent her home because she needed to rest. Sara was there at 5:30 a.m. We had somebody with us pretty much the entire time. You can't ask for better people than that. Sara basically never left us at the hospital. She stayed with me when my parents and David went to the hotel to get some rest. My Mom was able to stay with us for 6 weeks after they were born. And Sara was there helping every second she wasn't sleeping or at work. She even spent the night several times when Mom had to make a trip home to check on things at the house.

I know the girls will adore her. And I'm pretty sure she'll let them do things I specifically expressed not to let them do, but that's what aunts are for, I guess. It makes me even happier to know that the Piper Lee and Harper have each other...a built-in buddy...because I know the fun I had with Sara.

She's a great sister and friend. I'm glad I've got her. Love you, SF.

The Incident

Remember how I told you the other day there had been a poop incident and I was gonna tell y'all what happened, but first I had to break the news to a friend? Well, Erin was the friend as it was Holland's outfit that succumbed to the perils of babywar. Here's what happened...

After the girls were born, Liza and Erin had given me some outfits to borrow because they both had had girls. And it was wonderful. I had returned all but two outfits because the girls had either outgrown the others or would be too big for them by the time the clothes were season appropriate. One of the outfits I had left was this adorable dress...

I put Piper Lee in it and, as it was going over her head, I thought, Hmmm...this is going to be a tight fit. But, it went on okay. It's a cute little A-line dress, so there's a seam right under the armpits. We went on about our day and I blockaded them into the dining room and went to go do some laundry. I came in to check on them...

Not a huge deal. They've pooped before. But on closer inspection...

Awesome. I went to change Piper Lee first. I picked her up and my hand slid straight up her back...a streak of sweet potato poo. Perfect. I grabbed a nearby towel (I always keep a few on hand) and laid it down. The back of the dress was covered in it, so I needed to get it off before the slime spread even more. I unbuttoned the back of the neck and started working her arm through. It would not go through. I tried the other arm. Same thing. Stuck. That adorable A-line seam...the bane of my existence. That and the fact that Piper Lee was about 8 pounds too big for that dress. Meanwhile, Harper was sneaking further and further away to the other side of the room. I noticed a brown splotch creeping up her back as well. She was starting to pull up on a chair to stand up. Future events flipped through my brain like a ViewMaster. I saw my dining room covered in the digested remains of the twins' breakfast feast...bananas, mangoes, sweet potatoes, oatmeal and formula. I looked down at Piper Lee, her sweet smile saying, "Why the long face, Mom? Everybody likes poo on their carpet." I panicked and ran to grab the kitchen shears.

I did what I had to do.

Piper Lee was free.

Whew, relief. But then, horror over the realization of my actions.

I changed and gave the girls each a sponge bath. I was mad at myself for freaking out. I mean, poo is poo. It's going to get places. Oh, well. Erin was super cool about it. She's awesome. We upgraded to size 5 diapers...yep. The size 4's are plenty big, but when the twins have to go, it's like a news-worthy event, so...better safe than sorry.

Sorry again about the dress, Erin.

Oh, and don't worry about Piper Lee. She only lost a finger, couple of toes, half an ear...casualties of fashion.

Blue

Blue wrote a new post. You can read it here. It's ridiculous and a waste of time, but I had to post this or she'd put super glue on all the doorknobs. Dumb cat.

Not Really A Post

I had these grand intentions of writing a gazillion blog posts this weekend and posting them every day, but what, with all the sleeping and shopping and caramel making and freelancing and forgetting to do stuff I needed to do and watching movies with David and playing with the twins, I didn't get it done. You know when you feel like you haven't had a break in awhile, and when you finally do, you want to do all of the things you haven't gotten to do? Yeah, that was this weekend. It was a nice break. Sometimes, I get so tired of looking at my computer, that I want to put a towel over it. But that'd be weird and someone might think it was a ghost.

Ha...Paper! Snow! A GHOST!......Maybe someone will get that.

I have a few questions...

Coffee drinkers, if I start drinking coffee, will I be forever addicted? I have GOT to have something that gets me through the day because by about 3:41 p.m., I am a zombie. But I for reals don't want to have to drink it on the weekends. Today, I am drinking my first cup of real coffee (when I was pregnant, I had decaf because I was like I HAD TO HAVE THE TASTE OF COFFEEE NOW! RAWWWWWR!). My freshman year, a friend dared me to give up caffeine through the end of the semester to see if I could do it. I went through the end of...well, I'm still going. I take dares very seriously. I accept almost every dare (the reasonable ones...I can't fly or teleport [yet]). I miss Dr. Peppers and sweet tea. But, I gotta have something (twins at home, working full-time). I just had a steaming mug of straight, black instant. It was...bitter. But, I did it. It was like Fear Factor. And actually, I feel stronger now. I feel so...ALIVE. I intended this to be a one-sentence question and see what's happened?? COFFEEEEEEEEEE!!!!! But seriously, if I miss a day of drinking it, I'm not going to get a huge headache, right? I'm only going to have one cup a day. I need to put on some deodorant.

Next question.

When babies start pulling up to standing and letting go, how soon before they start walking and do I need to get padding for them? Like, football padding.

Next question.

Harper discovered the outlets. After repeatedly telling her "no" pretty firmly, and her flapping her arms around and kicking her legs in infant tantrum mode, we decided it was time to baby proof the house. So, we got outlet covers and put them around the house yesterday. A little bit ago, I find her sitting in front of one of her beloved outlets, tapping on the cover, looking up at me pleading, "Please. Remove." I looked down and said, "Suckah!" Does that make me a bad Mom? Maybe that was the caffeine talking.

Whew...this coffee stuff is crazy! I feel like I'm typing really fast. At the speed of light. Last time I typed super fast, I had two babies a few hours later.

Playing with dolls creeps me out just a little bit, but the girls love it. Piper Lee especially. I think it's because I'm really creeped out about the idea of a turkey or chicken that's about to be cooked...like, this...

walking around. I mean, what the mess. There was this old Disney cartoon...one of the old school ones...and the raw turkey comes alive and starts chasing Donald or Mickey or somebody. It has a hat and scarf on. I can't remember 100%. Ever since then, raw turkeys and chickens scare me. And dolls remind me of that. Weird, I know. Maybe I shouldn't drink coffee.

Piper Lee has discovered a new friend in the mirror.

Embarrassing

We've all done and said embarrassing things. I've probably done and said twice as much as the average person. I'm horrible with words or explaining something, so I put my foot in my mouth a lot or just end up in chunky pile of word-vomit that I can't swim out of. I'm pretty much an idiot. But, God still loves me. Here are a few things I've done or said to embarrass myself...

I was probably 17 before I found out they were called TROLLEY cars...not Charlie cars.

One time, I was looking at Malinda (not in a weird way) and thought, "She has a really great complexion. I should ask her about her skin care regiment." But instead of saying that, it came out something like, "Hey, you're really white...ah! I mean, pale. AH! I mean, you have great skin!" Walk away, Ruth.

One time (a lot of them will start with "one time", btw), we were at the mall and the plan was to meet up at Chick-fil-A for lunch. I walked into the food court and saw Mom standing in line to order. Because we always do this, I went up and pinched her fanny. It wasn't Mom.

One time, right after David and I got married, we were at church and I was introducing myself to someone. I turned to introduce David and said, "This is my wife, David." I hadn't gotten used to the "husband" and "wife" thing yet.

In college (I may have already told y'all this), my marketing professor called me "Ruby" the entire semester and I never had the heart to correct him. So, when he would call roll and say "Ruby", I would raise my hand or just answer "here" and everyone would snicker because they all knew my name.

I am HORRIBLE when it comes to telemarketers. Not horrible to them, just horrible at what to do. Because, I don't want to hurt their feelings and hang up and it's hard for me to stop someone in the middle of their script and say, "I'm not interested." So, I'm stuck on the phone with them for HOURS and then eventually, I say, "I'm not interested," having just wasted their time and my time, but anyways. Thank goodness for caller-ID. But before caller-ID, everyone always answered the phone...and so did I. I was probably 16. Sara was a freshman in college. I was staying with her one weekend for a fun sister hangout. She had gone down the hall for a dorm meeting and I was watching TV in her room. The phone rings and I answer. A telemarketer. Who in the world is calling a college student? Shouldn't that be illegal...calling at an educational institution. Whatever. Anyways. The guy asks for Sara.

"I'm sorry, she isn't in right now."

"Oh, that's okay. Are you a college student, too?" said the overly-persistant man.

Ruth, panicking, "Uh...no...I'm...the...babysitter," she said warily, hoping the man would buy it. He didn't.

"Oh, really? Does she have a baby in her dorm?" (Yeah, he was obnoxious and super nosey.)

"No...her cat. She's out to see a movie," Ruth replied, digging herself deeper and deeper into her pit of lies.

"A movie? Why didn't you go?" he said, completely ignoring that the fact that SOMEONE had to watch the dorm cat.

"Because, I'm too young. They went to see an R-rated movie."

"Uh huh. Okay. Well, you tell Sara that Dumb McMillaghan from Stupid, Inc. called and I'll try her again later."

"Okay. Yeah. I'll be sure to tell her that." Huh...not.

And yes, I actually said I was babysitting her cat. I've used the babysitter line before when I was at home and that worked, but didn't think about the fact that he was calling a college student in a dorm.

On many occasions, I've called a lady "sir" and a man "ma'am". Not because of how they looked or that I was confused, it was just because I'm a moron.

Up until about 3 years ago, I thought the song "I'm Coming Out" was about belly buttons. You know...because of the jeans commercials.

When I was 6 weeks pregnant, I went to get the mad mess of hair I had chopped off. While there, I mentioned how horrible my highlights looked so just to ignore them. And she said, "Oh, well, we can fix those if you want." I said, "Oh, no, thanks...I'm 6 weeks pregnant. The doctor told me I couldn't dye or highlight or perm my hair while I was pregnant. It's not good for the baby...something like the chemicals going through your skin to your placenta. I dunno, but I definitely don't want to risk anything at all." The stylist stopped for a minute and said, "I dyed and highlighted and permed my hair throughout all three of my pregnancies and they're fine. Are you sure? Because, it won't take long."

"Aw...uh...thanks. I was thinking of going back to my natural color anyway. I'll just live with the highlights. But, thanks!" Like, what do you say, you know? And I don't know if it's dangerous or not, but that's just what the doctor and the little pamphlet said.

I saw a guy in a store one time wearing a camp t-shirt I had designed a year before. I ran up to him, nearly squealing and said, "Did you go to this camp?? I designed this shirt! EEEEEEEEE!!" He said, "Oh...uhm...no, actually. I got it at a thrift store."

This one is REALLY embarrassing...just keep in mind that I was like, 12, or something. Almost all of my friends had braces. And it was sooooo cool to have braces or a retainer back then. I wanted them more than anything. When I would go to the dentist, I'd ask, "Do I need braces?" He always smiled...his gentle, cigar-raspied voice almost a whisper, "No. Your teeth are fine." Then I would ask, "What do I need to do in order to get braces?" He would just laugh and walk out...never answering my question. I needed braces! So, I made my own. Well, a retainer, I guess. Yes. With paperclips. I only wore it in the bathroom so I could see myself in the mirror and smile. I was fierce! But, the world would never know how awesome I looked. Until one day, I wore my "retainer" in my bedroom. Mom was showing the house (they live in a log cabin...people like to see it...whatevs) to some folks. They came into my bedroom, unannounced...me, standing in the center of the room, mouth full of a homemade paperclip contraption. What to do?!?! I couldn't smile. I couldn't talk. I couldn't take it out, for fear of a slobber string and/or them thinking I was a cyborg snacking on metal. I just stood there...and waved. I'm sure those folks still remember me...the special girl that lived in the woods.

8.5 Months

I figured I'd catch y'all up on the twins.

8.5 months. We weighed them a little before 8 months. About 20-21 pounds apiece, so I'm guessing they're about 22-23 pounds now. We had to upgrade to "big girl" car seats...the kind that just stays in your car. Thank goodness, because I had about had it with their infant seats. I kept telling David they weighed more than the girls. And he was like, "Oh, you're just weak." And I would say, "They have to way at LEAST 10 pounds." And he's all, "Uh, no, probably not. More like 3-5 pounds. You're just a woman and #1, y'all are horrible at guesstimating and #2, you're not very strong." Well, we took them to my Dad's office to weigh...guess what...10 POUNDS, BABY! Eat THAT, accountant! Yeah, so...it's not fun toting around a 22-pounder in a 10-pound contraption.

Harper is a crawling fool. That kid can get anywhere in the house in under 6.9 seconds. And don't get in her way. She will plow right over you...leaving your mangled body in her wake. She pulls up to standing on whatever she can get her hands on...even if it means using your hair for leverage. Piper Lee has more of an attitude of "Why should I move when I know you'll come and move me eventually?" She slithers around. She'll get up on her knees and literally hop forward if she really wants something. Or she roll side over side to get to where she wants to be. But, for the most part, she's pretty content to just sit and play. She's very contemplative and analytical. In fact, right now, she's building something with the toys...looks kind of like a cannon. I'm sure it's not...but, wait, is that gunpowder? PIPER LEE! Hang on...brb............................................

Okay, it WAS a cannon. We had a talk. Anyways.

They love bath time. Or, I should say, tidal wave splash time. Thank goodness for clear, plastic shower curtain barrier things. By the end of bath time, David and I are soaked. But the girls are tired and ready for bed. Happy babies, happy Mommy and Daddy.

Piper Lee has developed this half kitten/half puppy arf arf arf arf that she does ALL. THE. TIME. whilst playing with her toys. It's really sweet, but after 13 hours of it, I heartily welcome a little quiet. They jabber incessantly, which makes me laugh.

They have several very distinct laughs. I'm trying to get each one on camera so I can show y'all. There's their regular "I'm happy to see you" laugh. There's the polite "you're not as funny as you think you are, Mom, but I'll laugh to make you feel better" laugh. There's the "stop tickling me or I'll wet my diaper...oops, too late" laugh. There's the "laughing at sister while Mom tickles her" laugh. And then, there's the ever-elusive "just for us babies" laugh. The only time I hear this laugh is when they're laughing at each other. I hear it pretty often throughout the day, but it's really hard to catch it in person or on film. It's the best laugh ever invented.

They've just recently started fighting over toys, which is HUH-LARIOUS. We've started telling them "no" when they're pulling each other's hair or taking toys from each other or unplugging my external hard drive without properly ejecting it first. And I know I need to establish that "sharing is good", but it's just so funny. And they fight over toys that they have two of. But, nope, sister's exact same toy is better than mine. They pitch tiny little twin fits and it's hard not to laugh, but they're SO dramatic. I have no idea where they get that from. The only toy they don't really fight over is the sit and play piano. They'll sit side by side and play. Eventually, though, someone does push someone else over and I have to rescue that someone on the ground. Either that, or someone breeches the personal space boundary of someone else (a.k.a. playing with her ears, poking her eyes, picking her nose, etc.) and that someone else gets fussy about it, so I have to separate them.

They definitely have the twin vibe going because, while they can't complete each other's sentences yet, they do poop at the EXACT same time during the day. I mean, it's like a schedule. Which makes that a very stressful 10 minutes for me, because they're both moving and squirming everywhere, and sitting up and laying back down doesn't help the situation or the limits of the diaper barrier. And, we had an incident yesterday, which I will tell y'all about soon, but first, I have to break some bad news to a friend about a baby outfit she let me borrow. Sigh.

Although they're identical, they have super different personalities. Piper Lee is a mini-David and Harper is a mini-me. Harper is nosey and, no matter what language you say "no" in, she's still going to do what she wants. Piper Lee is quiet (except for the arf) and studies things so intently and will just sit and smile at you. They're both so sweet and loving, though, and love to cuddle and be held and sit in your lap and read a book. They LOVE books. Which is great, because I love perusing through the children's section at the book store.

I recently started putting bows in their hair. Little tiny ones. It's pretty funny and adorable. Like little Davids with bows. Just as soon as I put them in, however, they pull them out of each other's hair. I honestly think it's because they're helping each other..."Hey, sis, you've got something in your hair." "What? What is it? Get it out!! Is it gone?!" "Chill...I got it."

They can feed themselves finger foods. I'll cut up big wedges of apples for them. They love those. They don't really eat them...more like gnaw. They like the baby puff things. Those are just plain funny. They get stuck on their faces or hands and they can't get them off. Maybe they're saving them for later.

They both have their bottom teeth coming in. Right now, they look like piranhas with sweet smiles. And yeah, those things are SHARP. I know the day is coming when I hear a squeal and it's because someone's bitten someone else.

Their obsession with jewelry has reached a new level. At first, it was big, chunky jewelry like a necklace or earrings. Then, it was anything sparkly. But really, now, if you have a gold tooth, they will rip it from your mouth and treasure it...my precioussssssss. Like little parrots. I'm pretty sure they're collecting things in their cribs to sell on Ebay. I feel like we're going to have to buy stock in the costume jewelry industry.

They still refuse to eat homemade baby food. We've tried it all different ways. I'm going to videotape what they do when we give it to them. It's one of the most amazing things you'll ever see.

The squeal with delight and wave their arms when Daddy comes home. Harper will crawl to him, straight up into his lap. PL will wait patiently until he comes to her...little slug.

They love their baby videos. I rotate between two Praise Baby videos and Reid's Mozart video. I'm saving the Christmas Praise Baby for, well, Christmastime...meaning, December 1. They also love, I am very proud to say, Project Runway.

They're the best kids. So much fun.

Dream Job: Paleontologist

Cyndel says: I'd want to be a paleontologist, but I didn't want to say anything because you know how goofy I am.

Cyndel is a co-worker of David's. She's an underwriter, too. They like numbers and stuff. I've never gotten to meet her, but I hear she's super sweet and a lot of fun. David told me it took her awhile to choose between a paleontologist and a dictionarian for her dream job. But, I'm glad she picked paleontologist, because I used to want to be one, too! Jurassic Park is one of my all-time favorite movies. I spent a week learning how to play the theme song on the piano when I was 11.

Also, Cyndel's husband, a soldier, just got back from fighting overseas and I know she's happy to have him home. And I wanted to take this opportunity to say thank you for the sacrifices you've made as a family to help protect and preserve the freedoms we have. We, this country, owe you a lot. Thank you.

Here is Cyndel, the goofy paleontologist.

Dancin' & Eatin'

Every afternoon, I give them an apple wedge to gnaw on. Keeps them occupied for about 30 minutes.

In the words of Chandler Bing..."Her legs flail about as though independent from her body!"

After this, she proceeded to remove the tray with her feet and then escape. She then crawled to Piper Lee and attempted to free her from her Bumbo.

Be Yourself

Our friend, Ben, is the leader of a group of "geeks" called The Stealth Geek Collective. It's called cosplay...I'm not sure what that means...costume play, maybe? I'll have to ask him. His genre is called Steampunk. Have you ever seen the cartoon Treasure Planet? It's kind of like that. Almost old/pirate-esque but with technology. It's AWESOME. Ben recently went to Atlanta, Georgia for Dragon*Con. Oh, how I wish we could have gone. He makes his own costumes and weapons. They're incredible.

He posted his pictures and I've had the best time looking through them, seeing all the folks dressed up. Now, for sure, there are some weirdos. But most everybody is just there to have a good time and fellowship with people who share the same interests in books and movies. It's all in good fun.

Captain Adama from Battlestar Galactica! I LOVE BG!!

This guy's costume was great.

This is my favorite. Looks just like Wesley, right??

So, this past Sunday, as David and I were pulling out of the driveway to head to the mall, I noticed our neighbor's car had something written on the back window..."Is there air? YOU DON'T KNOW!" David and I looked at each other and said "GALAXY QUEST!" And at the same time, we noticed something else written on the window..."Dragon*Con 2010". But we didn't hang our heads in shame. We're proud to be geeks.

My first crush was William Shatner, Captain James T. Kirk of the U.S.S. Enterprise...not William Shatner, Priceline Negotiator. I love anything Star Trek. I love Star Wars. I love Sci-Fi (not Sci-Fi horror...that's just gross). I like fantasy stuff like Lord of the Rings. I've never actually dressed up like any of the characters...but if I HAD to...like, if you were like, "Ruth, the world will end if you don't dress up," I would be Major Kira Nerys, the senior Bajoran officer aboard Deep Space Nine. There, I said it. No, actually, I would really like to go to a convention, but I'd probably wear jeans and my Goonies t-shirt.

All that to say, be yourself. As cheesy as that sounds, I mean, seriously, enjoy your oddities and weirdness. Have fun. Ben is Erin's husband, father to Holland. He's a great dad. He has an amazing job at the Science Center in town. He knows so much about space and constellations. He always gives us updates on asteroids passing by or when the next meteor shower will be. You can be a geek and it doesn't mean you're LARPing every weekend or sitting in your lair and playing World of Warcraft 24/7. But, if that's what you want to do......okay. Leeeeerooy Jeeenkiiinss!!

If you want to wear the same pair of unwashed undies on game day for good luck for your team...go for it. Maybe don't sit next to me, but still, I wish your team the best.

If you sing Broadway to your twins and in the shower when nobody else can hear (not me...just randomly picking a random event that somebody may or may not do), sing it loud and proud. Lea Michele's got nothing on you.

If you have an unhealthy obsession with Angry Birds, you sling shot those little birdies towards those mean pigs and save those eggs.

You. Save. Those. Eggs. (tear)

And feel good about the deed you've done.

If you like to sit on a porch or in a hotel lobby or in a restaurant and watch people and make up stories about them, you do that! Maybe lose the creepy stalker vibe, but how much fun is it to people watch...I mean, honestly.

Anyways...be yourself. Everybody has something unique and weird about them. Celebrate yours.

Ha, that sounded sooooo cheesy and Hallmark card-ish, but you know what I mean. I'm going to regret saying "celebrate yours" later.

Labor Day!

So, this weekend was wonderful. Saturday morning, we got up and relaxed and took turns going back to sleep while the other watched the girls. Ah, perfect. Then, we met our buds Wes, Audry and Megan at the botanical gardens because it was 83 DEGREES OUTSIDE! WHAAAAAAAT? We walked around for a few hours and enjoyed the amazing weather. There were four weddings going on, so we spied on those a little bit. I didn't get a ton of pictures, mainly because I kept forgetting to take them. There's a Japanese garden section and they have a big pond with I guess koi fish. They just look like ginormous goldfish to me. Audry took Megan to see the fish and they were "as big as me!!"

The rock whisperer.

In the conservatory...green house...is it both? I know in Clue, it's the conservatory. Is that the same thing? I guess conservatories are smaller. Anyways, in the big glass building that has a bunch of plants, there's this boardwalk that's fairly high. Megan wanted to go, so Audry took her. I followed just to check it out, too. Y'all, it's scary up there. And the boards seemed a little wobbly, so it didn't instill much confidence. My slight acrophobia made a little appearance and I slinked on back down the stairs.

Hey, whoever smelt it, dealt it, kiddo.

There was this ancient Japanese bell and if you rang it, you would awaken the ancestors from their slumber. We told the boys to leave it alone, because we didn't want to fight Samurais that day.

Aw, sweet guys pushing all the ladies.

Yay for the gardens!!

Afterwards, we went to a nearby candy store to get some Bequet Celtic sea-salted caramels. Sooooooooooooooooooooooooooo gooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooood. We like-a the candy.

Saturday late afternoon, we went for a walk on the trail.

Went shopping all Sunday afternoon. Shopping wears us out. We went to the mall and to the shoe store. I gave them each a shoe to hold and they loved them. Ah, girls after my own heart.

Monday morning, sweet Hugs watched the girls while I went shopping by myself to spend a little birthday money. I had such a blast. Even though I missed David and the girls the whole time. Ha, you always want just a little time to yourself every now and then and when you get it, you spend it missing being with them. But I had a good time and got some fabulous new clothes for the Fall. We went swimming Monday afternoon. And yes, I realize they look like little boys, but what's the point of putting a baby in a swimsuit in your own back yard. I mean, honestly. They had on swimmie diapers and the pool is shaded, so I figured that was enough.

We shared our toys like very sweet girls.

I was sad to see the long weekend over. I vote every Monday should be some sort of holiday. I'm sure we could get plenty of people to sign that petition. Hope everyone had a great Labor Day!

Since Harper crawls everywhere now, I put some pants on her to help with the chaffed knees. And these were the only ones I had that were light enough for warm weather, but thick enough to help against bumps and bruises. I think they're 12-18 months. They look like genie pants.

Piper Lee vs. the Doll