The Incident

Remember how I told you the other day there had been a poop incident and I was gonna tell y'all what happened, but first I had to break the news to a friend? Well, Erin was the friend as it was Holland's outfit that succumbed to the perils of babywar. Here's what happened...

After the girls were born, Liza and Erin had given me some outfits to borrow because they both had had girls. And it was wonderful. I had returned all but two outfits because the girls had either outgrown the others or would be too big for them by the time the clothes were season appropriate. One of the outfits I had left was this adorable dress...

I put Piper Lee in it and, as it was going over her head, I thought, Hmmm...this is going to be a tight fit. But, it went on okay. It's a cute little A-line dress, so there's a seam right under the armpits. We went on about our day and I blockaded them into the dining room and went to go do some laundry. I came in to check on them...

Not a huge deal. They've pooped before. But on closer inspection...

Awesome. I went to change Piper Lee first. I picked her up and my hand slid straight up her back...a streak of sweet potato poo. Perfect. I grabbed a nearby towel (I always keep a few on hand) and laid it down. The back of the dress was covered in it, so I needed to get it off before the slime spread even more. I unbuttoned the back of the neck and started working her arm through. It would not go through. I tried the other arm. Same thing. Stuck. That adorable A-line seam...the bane of my existence. That and the fact that Piper Lee was about 8 pounds too big for that dress. Meanwhile, Harper was sneaking further and further away to the other side of the room. I noticed a brown splotch creeping up her back as well. She was starting to pull up on a chair to stand up. Future events flipped through my brain like a ViewMaster. I saw my dining room covered in the digested remains of the twins' breakfast feast...bananas, mangoes, sweet potatoes, oatmeal and formula. I looked down at Piper Lee, her sweet smile saying, "Why the long face, Mom? Everybody likes poo on their carpet." I panicked and ran to grab the kitchen shears.

I did what I had to do.

Piper Lee was free.

Whew, relief. But then, horror over the realization of my actions.

I changed and gave the girls each a sponge bath. I was mad at myself for freaking out. I mean, poo is poo. It's going to get places. Oh, well. Erin was super cool about it. She's awesome. We upgraded to size 5 diapers...yep. The size 4's are plenty big, but when the twins have to go, it's like a news-worthy event, so...better safe than sorry.

Sorry again about the dress, Erin.

Oh, and don't worry about Piper Lee. She only lost a finger, couple of toes, half an ear...casualties of fashion.