Okay, so, for part of my Christmas present, David and Sara gave me gift cards to Sephora and I went on Saturday to get a makeover! So much fun! I know HOW to put on makeup (I hope I'm doing it right), but I really wanted someone to teach me a good look for my eye shape, color, what I can do better, etc. I had a list of products I wanted to try out and, Heather the Consultant, suggested some different products she thought might work better with my okay this is boring. Basically, I got some fabulous makeup I'm super happy with and it was a good time. While I was in the store, I decided to check out their Philosophy line of bath/body products. I've never actually used any, but always heard it was pretty likable.
First of all, Sephora is overwhelming. Don't ever go there alone or without an idea of what you're looking for. You'll end up in the corner huddled in the fetal position.
I found the Philosophy section and tested out some of the lotions. I always heard the Amazing Grace scent was the most popular, so I tried that. Smells great, sure. Really clean and fresh. I saw there was another scent called Eternal Grace. I squeezed out some, which ended up being a lot. I only intended to get out a smudge to put on top of my hand, but ended up having to spread it all the way up my arm. I'm pretty sure people thought I was about to start tanning somewhere. So, that was awkward. I compared the two scents on each of my hands. Y'all, Eternal Grace smelled like heaven! AG smelled more like a nice lotion. EG smelled like a nice lotion PLUS something else. I don't what that "else" was, but I liked it. It smells divine.
So, I bought that. I don't normally spend a lot of money on bath and body products. But, this smell lasts all day long and it's makes my skin so soft, which is especially important during this season. My hands don't feel like sandpaper anymore. It was worth the money. I picked y'all up a bottle, too! Well, one "y'all." And I want to give it to you. Along with some amazing lip balm by EOS. The best lip balm I've ever used. Smells wonderful and it'll make your lips so sweet and puckery. And it comes in a super fun container to boot! It's a great icebreaker because people will wonder what you're rubbing on your face.
All you have to do is tell me your most embarrassing story(ies). I'm going to let David pick the winner. He's a good, unbiased judge. And he's cute. Also, you should know I'm totally going to post the stories on the blog, too, not just in the comments.
Just so you're not alone, I'll tell you a few of my most embarrassing stories. I have so many, it's hard to pick.
One time, in high school, Mom and I were at the mall and we were supposed to meet at Chick-fil-A in the food court for lunch. I'm heading toward the front counter and I see Mom already ordering, her short pixie hair a dead giveaway. I walk up to her, get right behind her, pinch her butt, and say, "Hurry up and order, lady!" Yeah, it wasn't Mom.
One time, on a youth trip, Mom was with us, and we were at a Cracker Barrel and a few of us went to the bathroom to, you know, and wash our hands and fix our hair before lunch. I went into a stall and Mom was in the stall next to me. I see her tennis shoes and reach down, grab her ankle, and whisper/shout, "Hey, lady! What's taking so long?!" Yeah, that wasn't Mom either.
One time, in college, me, David and our friend Mark were studying for a biology test, when someone commented that we lose flexibility as we get older. I think it was David that said he used to could lay down flat on his back and bend his knees to where his legs were up beside him. You know what I mean? But, he couldn't do that anymore. I said, stupidly, "I can still do that!" Mark says, "Prove it." Uh, okay. So, I did it. Easy peasy. David, knowing very well how ticklish I am, proceeds to stand over me acting like he's going to tickle me. He never did, but I laughed so hard that I well...peed my pants a little. I knew I had to walk all the way across the quad to get back to my dorm, so I went into the bathroom and splashed water (from the sink) and completely covered my blue jeans until they were soaked. Nobody knew. Except, now, all of you.
Okay, I told you mine, now tell me yours and get some sweet stuff! If you'd rather, you can email it to me at bogueandweejer@gmail.com
Send me your story by Friday!
OK, I have thought about it, and I think this one is the "most" or at least "most classic" of my embarrassing stories.
ReplyDeleteWhen I was a senior in high school, I was president of the largest club in the school, and I would often make announcements over the intercom in the mornings concerning the service projects and such that our club was doing. I was also an athlete and very involved around the school. I wasn't "popular" but was very well known, and the whole school knew who it was when I was making morning announcements.
One morning, a lost backpack had ended up in the office. This was during the time when kids thought it was cool to "paint" or write on their backpacks with whiteout. This particular one had some artwork and the name "Marilyn Manson" very largely and boldly painted on the front. My announcement was at the end, and as I was finishing, the assistant principal asked me to announce that Marilyn Manson's book bag was in the front office. So, me having no clue who the heck Marilyn Manson was, did so. Over the entire school. During morning announcements. And everyone knew it was me who did it. As I cluelessly walked back down through the hallways, I could hear laughing and giggling coming from each homeroom. When the bell rang to go to 1st period, some friends came up to me laughing and talking about how awesome that was. "What do you mean? Why is everyone laughing?" Apparently the assistant principal and I were the only ones in the school who didn't know about Marilyn Manson, and that this person was neither a girl or a student at our school.
My blunder became classic fodder for laughs and was even featured in the student council Christmas assembly skit the next year--after I had graduated!
First date - ever. So nervous...spend hours getting ready...struggle through dinner trying to be so cute and funny and so lovely that he would for sure want to ask me out again!
ReplyDeleteFinish dinner and go to a movie at the Summit (which was BRAND NEW at this time). It's a Saturday night, so the movie theater is packed and we are a little late. We walk across the front of this PACKED movie theater, wondering if we will even be able to find two seats together - except I don't walk. I slide on someone's spilled drink. I awkwardly manage to not fall by flailing my arms around and doing the running man. The packed theater laughs and some give me a standing ovation. Needless to say, I was so glad the movie theater was dark and I didn't have to talk.
I have to choose ONE?!?!
ReplyDeleteMy dad took my brother and I with him on a business trip to Switzerland when I was a junior in high school (torture, I know). We decided to go skiing, and while I wasn't that experienced, I thought, "Sure, I can handle the Alps."
Beyond the graceless actual attempts at skiing, I had never been on a T-Bar ski lift before. My father got on first, and made it all slanted, and I tried to load...and failed miserably. Shortly after it started moving, I slid down, and was hanging off of it by my hands, ultimately falling off about 1/2 way up. I had to take off my skis and walk all the way down the mountain as people shouted at me in German. The upside was I didn't know German, and had no clue what they were saying...
(Would the time I was skiing and ran into a picnic table have been better? I don't have much luck with the whole skiing thing...)
And this isn't the "best", but to make you feel better about your mom stories, this past summer, Stephen and I had just come out of seeing Thor at the movie theater at the Summit. We both had to go to the bathroom, so we went in our separate doors and said we would meet outside when finished. I came out and found Stephen reading something on his cell phone, so I went over to him and stood closely by him. And then I got really close so I could tell him something about a weird shirt someone was wearing--as in our heads were just a couple of inches away. One little move and I would've kissed him. Only to look up and see someone who looked nothing like Stephen. He also wasn't dressed like Stephen. What was I thinking. So I looked at the strange man and said, "You're totally not my husband." And immediately walked away to see Stephen come out of the bathroom. Face flushed and red, I hurried him away as fast as I could.
ReplyDeleteso...i think i normally block out my most embarrassing moments...or maybe i just don't get embarrassed?
ReplyDeletebut, when i was in college at auburn i took a philosophy class that i LOVED. but it was a super small class in a super small classroom. during this time in my life i carried a 20oz dr. pepper with me everywhere i went. naturally i would take a sip during class on occasion. however, i happen to have a spastic right hand. and one day as i was setting down my dr. pepper my hand spazzed and the bottle flew and landed right at the feet of the teacher. luckily he like me...
that very same day leaving class in one of the busiest buildings on campus, which just so happened to have A LOT of stairs, i slipped and tumbled down the stairs in front of a crowd. never let go of that dr. pepper bottle though.
luckily i just think stuff like that is hysterical...
ruth, can I tell my disney bathroom story without giving away my name? who know who this is :)
ReplyDeleteOnce I was teaching youth for Patrick because he had to study for a test or something along those lines. I don't even remember what the lesson was about, but I was trying to say the words "rocket ship" only it came out "rocket s***t" in front of a room full of 13-17 year olds. They thought it was hilarious. I turned 27 shades of red.
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ReplyDeleteI think I must block out all my embarrasing moments because I can't think of any...and I'm sure there have been some. So, I guess my prize will have to be reading these awesome stories!
ReplyDeleteSeveral years ago, my whole family took a trip to Disney World. While at Epcot, we ate at the restaurant in Paris. The meal was delicious! Roast chicken and onion soup :) Half way through the meal, my daughter got really sleepy, so I held her in my lap while I continued to eat. Then I felt a warm sensation run down my leg. My child had peed not on herself so much, but all over my white capri pants. Great. I went to the restroom to try and clean up and that’s when it happened. Stomach cramp. Uh oh. Not good. Maybe roast chicken and onion soup in 90ยบ weather is not such a good idea? There are no empty stalls and I am about to, well ... go. Finally a stall! I run inside take care of business (first properly lining the seat with a proective covering). Ahhhh, relief. I’ll deal with the pee soaked pants later. As I finish up, I go to flush and notice the paper seat cover is stuck to my rear. But there’s more than paper suck to it. At that point it was too late. The poo paper had gotten all over the back of my pants. So now I have my daughter’s pee and my poo all over my clothing. I thought surely someone in my family would come check on me soon. It felt like I had been in there for hours, but I couldn’t leave the stall. I removed my pants sat back down and cried. A grown woman. Stuck in a stall. Pantless. Bawling. Finally, my mother came in to check on me. I burst into tears and told her I needed new pants. Just go, I’ll be here waiting. And I did wait, about another hour for her to return with $70 pants (hey - Disney aint cheap). I cleaned myself up, put on horribly expensive and ugly capris, regained the small amount of dignity I had left, and walked out of the bathroom with my held held high. My family was outside of the restaurant trying to contain their laughter. As I walked past all I said was, “not one word. not ONE word.”
ReplyDeleteI have a sister named Ruth.
ReplyDeletewhen i was giving birth to my second daughter, i was in the hospital for 4 days prior to her birth, being induced, because my blood pressure was high. it was late august/early september in the deep south and you know how hot that can be. i was miserable being in semi-labor every day but not progressing fast. finally, on september first, she was ready to enter the world. would you believe that about 30 minutes prior to them taking me to the delivery room, the power went out in the hospital. even though the hospital had a back-up generator for essential functions, the air conditioning was not one of those functions. it was easily 100 degrees in the hospital, i had been in labor for 4 days (induced labor which is very painful), and i had to transfer from my hospital bed to a stretcher (this was in the old days). neither the bed nor the stretcher could be electrically raised because there was no power so i had to physically get on the stretcher myself while in lots and lots of pain, hungry and with sweat literally dripping off my entire body. finally, i make it onto the stretcher and as they are wheeling me out of the room, the nurses hit the door frame with my stretcher and almost throw me to the floor. at that point i yelled out...OH ****....only to look up and see my pastor standing right there looking at me. he never said a word to me about that outburst and never brought it up again:)
ReplyDeleteI bloomed early. Really early. As in my Aunt Flo came for the first time when I was 10 years old…the summer before I started sixth grade. In sixth grade (the first year in middle school) you had to take a sampling of each elective class so you’d know what to pick the following two years. EVERYONE had to do EVERYTHING…drama, fine art, practical art, chorus, typing (why was THAT an elective?), home ec, and shop. Like most kids, up to that point, I took a shower every night. Well, you know what it’s like when your Aunt visits. You’re a bit more oily and smelly. So we had done PE that day and the next class was shop. UGH. Hated that class. This nasty, mean boy was lined up behind me getting out the door and he proceeds to tell me LOUDLY that I smell like “period juice”. I have no idea if he meant it, but from that day on I ALWAYS took a shower every morning. Which also accounts for me using the highest rated deodorant I can, lotion every day, perfume every day, and even aerosol deodorant on my feet. I’m psycho, but you won’t smell me.
ReplyDeleteIt was an average day. College. American Lit. Dr. Miller. Ripped. Single (divorced). Walked the aisles as he taught.
ReplyDeleteEvery day started with a quiz on the previous night's reading. "Number 1"...Crap. Already misspelled my name. What a way to start the day. As I erased what I'd written, I tried to scrape the eraser shavings off my paper. But alas! The paper flew off my desk! Me, always quick on my feet, or butt in this instance, ninja-ed my hand out to grab the paper mid-flight. But, my head had been down. Dr. Miller was coming down my lane....Let's just say my hand grabbed something that wasn't paper. Something that was below his waist and above his knees....
Speechless.
"Why Ms. Tinsley!, he exclaimed, "I haven't had this much action in a LONG time!!!" (And yes, he really, actually said this.)
Mor-ti-FIED.
LGTH
Now, where's my lotion?
It was my freshman year of highschool, and my youth group decided to take a trip to Carowinds one summer night. We were sectioned off in groups, and I was with a few girls and a few guys. We were all walking around, and decided we wanted to go to the "kid's water park" part of the park. There was a giant bucket suspending at the top of a pole, and it was being filled up with water. When it gets full, it dumps the water onto whoever is standing under it. So naturally, me and a couple girl friends go and stand under it. I was wearing a tankini that was a little "loose" up top (if you know what I mean), and let's just say I was not expecting this: hard. water. pressure. The bucket fills up, and then pours the water on top of us. Well... my tankini was no match for that water pressure because the shoulder straps and top part CAME DOWN. At and amusement park. In front of men, women, and children. Bad thing is: I didn't know it. I was just relishing in how refreshing that water felt because it was so hot outside. It was a good 5-10 seconds (and when something like this happens, 5 seconds is an ETERNITY) before my friend looked at me, eyes bulged, and she started laughing so hard. Ummm, yeah. So. Embarrassing.
ReplyDeleteI will refrain from telling the story of when I was on a youth lake trip riding a water tube, when we hit a big wake, and well.... I'll save that one for another giveaway :)
Now if this isn't embarrassing... spilling my guts when someone else has already won! Didn't see that post.... oops!!!
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