Tuesday, January 24, 2012

The Stories

Here are the embarrassing stories...edition 1.

You guys, this is Emma's embarrassing story. Emma...that cracked me up. I laughed so hard at your story and your following comment. Thank you for submitting it anyways. :) I'm trying to decide whether I would have left the water park or kept on trucking. Hmmmmmm...I would have stayed. Every other person's got 'em. Also, Typhoon Lagoon at Disney had a similar bucket thing. Definitely will have to remember not to stand under it.

It was my freshman year of highschool, and my youth group decided to take a trip to Carowinds one summer night. We were sectioned off in groups, and I was with a few girls and a few guys. We were all walking around, and decided we wanted to go to the "kid's water park" part of the park. There was a giant bucket suspending at the top of a pole, and it was being filled up with water. When it gets full, it dumps the water onto whoever is standing under it. So naturally, me and a couple girl friends go and stand under it. I was wearing a tankini that was a little "loose" up top (if you know what I mean), and let's just say I was not expecting this: hard. water. pressure. The bucket fills up, and then pours the water on top of us. Well... my tankini was no match for that water pressure because the shoulder straps and top part CAME DOWN. At and amusement park. In front of men, women, and children. Bad thing is: I didn't know it. I was just relishing in how refreshing that water felt because it was so hot outside. It was a good 5-10 seconds (and when something like this happens, 5 seconds is an ETERNITY) before my friend looked at me, eyes bulged, and she started laughing so hard. Ummm, yeah. So. Embarrassing.
I will refrain from telling the story of when I was on a youth lake trip riding a water tube, when we hit a big wake, and well.... I'll save that one for another giveaway :)

And here is Laura Grace's story (David's younger sister). Girl, I had NO idea this happened. I'm trying to remember who Dr. Miller was. Either way, this was AMAZING. I wish I had known this earlier...think of the jokes we could have been making all these years. "Watch out, you guys! LG's reaching for something on the floor! No telling what she'll try to touch!"

It was an average day. College. American Lit. Dr. Miller. Ripped. Single (divorced). Walked the aisles as he taught.

Every day started with a quiz on the previous night's reading. "Number 1"...Crap. Already misspelled my name. What a way to start the day. As I erased what I'd written, I tried to scrape the eraser shavings off my paper. But alas! The paper flew off my desk! Me, always quick on my feet, or butt in this instance, ninja-ed my hand out to grab the paper mid-flight. But, my head had been down. Dr. Miller was coming down my lane....Let's just say my hand grabbed something that wasn't paper. Something that was below his waist and above his knees....


"Why Ms. Tinsley!, he exclaimed, "I haven't had this much action in a LONG time!!!" (And yes, he really, actually said this.)


This one makes me cringe so hard. And makes my heart hurt for the poor soul who endured it. And I honestly have no idea what that boy in your story was talking about. Don't worry about it. He's probably a hobo now. Or the guy that smell-tests air fresheners for cars, since he's apparently obsessed with smelling things. Oh, and yes, typing...I wish it had been an elective in school for us. Mom made us set an egg timer and type every day for not 10...not 20...but 30 minutes EVERY DAY. Well, every week day. Our fingers got a break on the weekends. However, I am grateful now because I can type 96 words per minute with 3 errors...BOOM! Beat that, Hugsy! Psh...I'll always be the best. Anonymous...we all cringe for you.

I bloomed early. Really early. As in my Aunt Flo came for the first time when I was 10 years old…the summer before I started sixth grade. In sixth grade (the first year in middle school) you had to take a sampling of each elective class so you’d know what to pick the following two years. EVERYONE had to do EVERYTHING…drama, fine art, practical art, chorus, typing (why was THAT an elective?), home ec, and shop. Like most kids, up to that point, I took a shower every night. Well, you know what it’s like when your Aunt visits. You’re a bit more oily and smelly. So we had done PE that day and the next class was shop. UGH. Hated that class. This nasty, mean boy was lined up behind me getting out the door and he proceeds to tell me LOUDLY that I smell like “period juice”. I have no idea if he meant it, but from that day on I ALWAYS took a shower every morning. Which also accounts for me using the highest rated deodorant I can, lotion every day, perfume every day, and even aerosol deodorant on my feet. I’m psycho, but you won’t smell me.

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Mom, keep it clean.
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