Thursday, December 9, 2010

An Actual Conversation

You know my issues with the pediatrician's receptionists. They're not the brightest, God love them. I called yesterday to schedule the twins' 12-month check-up...

Ruth, bracing for the conversation about to ensue: Hi, this is Ruthie Pooh. I need to schedule a 12-month appointment for my twin daughters.

Receptionist: Uh huh. Alright. So, what are their names?

Ruth: Piper Lee and Harper.

Receptionist: And how old will they be?

Ruth: One year. 12 months.

Receptionist: Uh huh. So, you need it for both of them?

Ruth: That would be ideal.

Receptionist: Uh huh. So, what is your phone number?

Ruth: 123-555-5555.

Receptionist: Okay. So, who is this appointment for?

Ruth: My daughters. Two of them. Twins. Born on the same day in December.

Receptionist: Okay. So, Piper. Alright. Got her down for 9:00 a.m. What is your phone number?

Ruth: GYAH. 123-555-5555.

Receptionist: Alrighty. We'll see you then.

Ruth: Wait. Is that appointment for Harper, too?

Receptionist: Oh. You needed them together?

Ruth: Uh........yes.

Receptionist: Okay. Well. Let me see what we have........long pause.......okay, thankfully, there is some time together at 9:00, so we'll have the doctor see her then, too.

Ruth: Wonderful. Thank you.

Receptionist: Oh, wait. Let me get your phone number.

Ruth: FOR THE LOVE! 123-555-5555

Receptionist: Oh, and let me get your name.

Ruth: MOTHER OF PEARL. It's Ruthie Pooh.

Receptionist: Okay, Mrs. Pooh...and it's Piper Pooh, too, correct?

Ruth: Yes. Freak of nature.

Receptionist: And I'm assuming Harper has the same last name as Piper, correct?

Ruth: No. Actually, they're identical twin half sisters...but it's our little secret, k?


  1. HA! Thank you for an early morning laugh. You were much calmer than I ever would have been!!

  2. Do you just want to take the phone reciever and bang it against whatever hard surface you're standing near?

  3. These posts make me laugh so much! Hopefully, the doctor is smarter!?


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