Awkward Baby Stares

So...what do you do when you're in church on Sunday morning and the kid in front of you is turned completely around just STARING at you? Most of the time, if it's a toddler or older child, you can make a face and they'll laugh or smile. Sometimes they'll make a face back, which is always fun. Or sometimes...they'll just stare. No expression at all. I mean, I wore my face out yesterday morning and the kid had the best poker face ever. I'm like, tough crowd, huh? He wouldn't crack. I always save my fish face as a last resort, but no can do...he wouldn't budge. And then, it just got awkward. If it's an adult and they're staring, and you catch them staring, you can stare back and they'll usually look away. But not with a kid. I caught myself staring at him and then looking away doing the whistle "ooh, I'm not up to anything...just looking around" bit. I mean, the kid won!! I never lose staring contests...I was really disappointed in myself. But that kid was awkward. His eyes were piercing my soul. Creepy kid. 

So, Ruth-0, Kids-1. 

Then, it happened again last night when we went to see the Nativity Play! I'm like, what is up?? And I can't blame David, because I chose the seats. But this time, it was a baby baby. Not a kid baby. I went through all of my pee in your pants faces, but nothing worked. I was losing my edge. I don't know what happened. And I mean, what do you do with a baby? You can't be like "What do you want?" or "Can I help you with something?" Because it's a little lump of cuteness and drool. They'll just spit up on you. And it was extra creepy because it was a baby. How did he know to stare, you know? He looked right at my eyes. How do babies know where to look? Do they take a manner/etiquette class in the womb? They're in there for nine months, I guess they should earn their keep somehow...cheap little squatters. I mean, how aware are babies at that age? I remember seeing the movie Baby Geniuses and ever since then, I've always thought...what if...just WHAT IF babies really do know the secrets of the universe and at the age of (what was it? 2, 3, 4? I can't remember) they forget all of it and turn into a regular toddler. While I was staring at Awkward Baby #2, I thought of that. And I looked at him dead in the eyes, willing him to read my mind..."hey, punk. What's happenin'? You need something? You...uh...you're missing the Nativity Play. There's lots of animals up there. There's even a lobster and lion. Check it out. Can you read my mind? Do you really know the secrets of the universe? Cuz if you do, I suggest you take a mental picture of this moment, turn around, and stop staring!!" And then he winked at me and blew some bubbles! Babies can be really rude sometimes. Anyways. Ruth-0, Kids-2. 

It was a really good play. I laughed so hard. It's not every day you get to see a 4-year old dressed up like a star, climb to the top of a ladder (with his dad's help, of course), and spread-eagle...shining so brightly to show the shepherds where the baby Jesus lay.