I Heart the Dentist...kinda

Actually, I hate dentists, but I do like mine. I tolerate going there...barely. I just got back from my 6-month cleaning. Yes, I'm blogging during work, but I'm finishing up my last three days (woot woot!) and I've just done eleven month's worth of work in a month in a half, so I'm gonna take 10 minutes to write this. Anyways. Dentists have always always always freaked me out. I hated going when I was a kid and I hate going now. It wasn't until the past two times that I actually didn't freak out when I got the appointment reminder call. I've seen too many horror movies where the evil dentist would yank a person's tooth out and laugh menacingly whilst holding up a molar with a pair of pliers. Chills. And I never actually thought that would happen to me, but I have a low tolerance for pain and I have a personal space issue...especially around my face. Also, I'm always afraid when I go that they're gonna tell me all of my teeth are falling out (I dream that happens all the time) or that they found a big tumor in my face...which just so happened to have happened (is that right?) to a guy I worked with. Yeah...found a tumor in his jaw...thankfully, it was benign and they removed it no problem, but still. Tumor in the face found at the dentist. Scary. So, when I got a reminder about my appointment today, my hands got all sweaty and I tried to think of an excuse to not go. Nothing came to mind and I know you shouldn't neglect your dental hygiene, so I was like, whatever. 

My parents were drill sergeants when it came to teeth. Something about which I am very thankful (thanks, Mom!), because none of us have ever had any teeth problems...knock on wood (that would be someone at the door [only two people will get that joke]). One of the best feelings in the world to me is leaving the dentist's office knowing my face is okay. And I turn into a 4-year old when they say "Pretty teeth. Keep up the good work." Gold star for me! Tee! 

Growing up, the dentist we went to was a fun guy. Kinda old...cigar smoker...raspy voice...grandpa-ish. But he was still a dentist, so I didn't like him. And he'd always pat our faces as he was finishing checking our pearly whites. The hygienists there were sweeter than sugar. They would dote on every tooth, using pillows and feathers to clean each one. It took forfreakingever. So, when you get Broomhilda the Toothinator like I had today, it's quite a surprise. She was a nice gal, just...a tad scary. She used jackhammers and ice picks instead of pillows and feathers. But, it was a good hurt. You know what I mean? Like when you get a massage for that knot that never goes away in your left shoulder and they just dig and dig and it's like "Stop, no wait, don't stop!" It's a good hurt. That's the way Broomhilda was. It was a good, deep cleaning. At least that's what I told myself to keep from crying. And when she polished them, it was like "let me shovel this paste into your mouth and sandpaper those suckers clean." They do feel super smooth now, though, so I guess I can't complain. It's like my own personal floor waxer for my teeth. She was pretty quiet...and she wouldn't use words to tell me what to do and where to turn my head...just noises. Like, she'd grab my chin and pull it towards her and utter "myuh myeh." I'm assuming she meant, "Please turn your head towards me so as I can peer into your wide open trap." (btw, while I was in the chair, I was thinking about blogging about this and how I would describe how she talked with the "muh muhs" and "myuh myehs" and it made me giggle and she thought I was choking on the fire hydrant stream of water blasting into my mouth and was all like "Sorry sorry, there there." Yes, I did formulate my blog ahead of time whilst in Broomhilda's torture throne.)  

After B'hilda finished up and the skin on my face situated back into its normal position, Dr. Gentry came in to check everything over. Now, Dr. Gentry is a good looking dentist. He's no sweetie pie David, but at least he's something pretty to look at when a big noggin is picking all around at your teeth. He gave me an A+ and sent me on my way. In and out of there in 22 minutes. No face tumor, my teeth are all still there, best dentist office ever. Now I get six months of worry-free-edness. Hurrah for teeth! Now I'm gonna go put my chompers to work and eat some lunch.