Winter = Brrrrr! = Ruth not happy

Reasons I don't like winter:

It's cold. 

Fall paints the trees with beautiful colors and fills the air with the aroma of home, candy corn, hot chocolate and cute scarves and winter says NOOooo!!! as she forcefully snatches the leaves from their branches with her cold, icy fingers....leaving behind the nakedness of skinny branches and yards filled with the brown, leafy carnage of her cruel blow...a massacre...while she smirks and chuckles in raspy mirth.

It always lasts for a really long time, no matter what the groundhog says. 

Going to the bathroom at work is like going potty at the North Pole. 

My hands, especially my knuckles, turn into an extension of the Sahara desert, no matter how much Glove Me Tender or Look Ma, New Hands I put on them. 

My lips are inevitably always chapped...although, they do turn a cute pink, which makes me less horrid-looking in the morning, so one point for winter.  

The hair on my legs grows 2.7 inches per day because of the incessant chill bumps. 

I feel like old granny Ruth in my car on the way to work because I'm hunched over, with my scarf, hat and gloves, trying to retain any tiny bit of body warmth I might have left. 

I have frostbite on my toes right now. 

It's cold. 

It makes me want to exercise less...which makes me feel like a slob...which makes me mad...which makes me hate winter more...which makes me want to curl up on the couch and eat/drink something warm...which makes me feel more like a slob...which makes me want to exercise, but then I remember I don't want to exercise...and the cycle continues. 

I don't care what anybody says...yes, yes, I love scarves and sweaters and my FANTASTIC NEW BOOTS! but nothing in this world compares to a cute sundress or flip flops or terry cloth shorts or a good-ole t-shirt. 

Ohhh...oooh great...now my fingers have frostbite. 

Speaking of, winter makes my fingers shrivel up to the size of toothpicks and my rings get loose and swirl around my finger and that's just plain obnoxious. 

It gets dark at like 2:11 pm and I feel like I have no day left when I get home. 

It makes coming home from tropical vacations November through March depressing because hey, it's balmy and wonderful and then REJECTED! it's winter in America. 

It smells like cold and dumb and the bodies of dead leaves outside. 

Awesome, my nose just surrendered to Mr. Frostbite. Way to give in, nose. 

It makes me sleepy. 

It's cold. 

I DO have a few, tiny reasons why I tolerate winter:

Family!! I get to see my family a lot more during winter than any other time of year. 

Christmas and Thanksgiving...love 'em!

I don't have to shave my legs as much (see 2.7 inch comment above) because nobody sees my legs, which is a good thing because I don't shave as much. I'll totally take a picture for you later. David doesn't mind. He says at night when I'm sleeping and my legs rub together, I sound like a cricket. 

I like winter accessories. 

I know that in March...the trees will wake up and stretch and start pushing and pushing and pushing and out pop the buds! And then the leaves will peak their tiny green heads out of the buds and say 'allo! (We have British trees.) And then, in an explosion of green and warmth and smell goodiness, WHAM! winter is gone. Spring has banished her dreary presence to the underworld of Seasonland. It's totally Aslan vs. the White Witch.