What Would You Do If...

So, the girls wanted to write a post and I'm like, "Seriously...your eyes aren't even opened...that's just ridiculous." And they were like, "Seriously...let us do it or we can make this miserable for you." And I'm a little scared of them...especially together...they're masterminds. So, here is a questionnaire that Piper Lee and Harper have filled out for you...

What Would You Do If...

You got a visit from your favorite celebrity:

Seeing as how our favorite celebrity is Tom Colicchio, we'd say to him, "Tom...cutie patootie Tom...listen, we'd like some food...get to work."

You won 500 million dollars:

Well, after we paid around 40% for taxes, we would buy a guest house for Tom Colicchio, buy TV (like, all of it) so we could control what shows were aired and make the dumb ones go away, buy Chick-fil-A...and invest the rest.

You found a wallet on the ground:

Shopping!

Your date throws up on you:

Jerk, this is a new sweater...throw back up on him.

You witnessed a murder:

We'd call Dr. Temperance Brennan at the Jeffersonian to see what she would do.

You were stranded on an island with nothing but the ability to make one phone call:

Call Mom and Dad to send us some Banana Boat Tanning Oil...4...well, maybe 8.

Facebook and Myspace both shut down:

Who cares about MySpace...Facebook, impossible to shut down. Robots control it.

A random dude offered you candy:

Say, "What? What is this cheap stuff? It's not even real chocolate...it's 'chocolate-flavored'. Laaaaaaame. Go home, cheapo."

You lost your favorite thing in the world:

Well, since our favorite thing right now is the warm, dark recesses of Mom's internal organs...we'd say in a few months, we're gonna be pah-retty upset at everybody.

You got invited to be on a reality TV show:

We'd say, "We don't get out of bed for less than $100,000 a day. Eat that, producers."

You caught a friend stealing from you:

Slap her. And then hug her, because everybody makes mistakes. But then slowly phase her out.

Someone shaved off your eyebrows:

We have like 5 hairs on our eyebrows right now...you think we're concerned with that.

You got a phone call from the President:

We'd say, "Sup...you have a nice smile. Now go read this article that Brandi posted yesterday."

You had one wish:

Wish for more wishes...and don't say we can't do that. The last genie that told us that ended up being buried with his lamp in the back yard.

What Girls Talk About

Last night was Tiffany's surprise birthday party and it was fabulous and oh, so fun! When we get together with our friends, we pretty much sequester into the boys (outside grilling and talking) and the girls (inside talking and talking). I really have no idea what the boys talk about...I probably don't want to know. David did tell me something about one of Shane and Brandi's first dates...something about way too much pizza and a tire swing. It was pretty funny.

But the girls pretty much stick to the basics...babies, dinner parties and weddings. And it's always a good time. We were talking about our wedding pictures and how we wish Eric and Tris could retake everybody's wedding pictures... and while we're at it, let's all get married again in one huge ceremony (to the same husbands, of course), one right after the other, and be each other's bridesmaids and then have a huge reception. We started planning the whole thing, much to Shane's dismay, because he walked in right in the middle of it and quickly snatched Brandi away before we could finish our planning. Boys.

When we got home, the first thing I noticed was the huge black speck in between my two front teeth...so, thanks guys, for letting me know about that. Then, as I was finishing up my shower, I decided to try on my wedding dress. Just to see.

Totally fits.

This is my over-the-shoulder glamour pose.

The tank top wasn't a part of the original ensemble...neither was the towel. Just in case you were wondering.

10 Items

I was just looking at baby stuff this weekend...you know...cuz that's what I do. And I came across these fabulous items. Why OH WHY did I not register for all of these.....

(I did not write this article...I merely copied and pasted. My comments are in red.)

10 Items that make your baby look like a moron...

10) The Baby Toupee:

Laugh it up, ho.

This is mostly a joke, but it's a real product for real babies. It has no purpose other than for you to put it on and then laugh at how stupid your baby looks. Yeah.

It's not like they care, them being babies and all. Ordering this today.

Only slightly better is the redneck pacifier:

Oh yes, it's a real binky. I laugh every time I see one of these. But the poor baby never looks amused.

9) Ridiculous Cribs

This is another one designed more for the parents than the baby. This wrought iron monstrosity costs more than $2,000.

I guess if parents really want to spend a brazillian dollars on the baby's nursery, it's their prerogative. But come on. The kid ain't the emperor of Japan. I could not agree more. And as a practicality, once the baby starts moving around, those bumpers are going to get tugged on and ripped off, and the slats of the crib are going to get slobbered all over. Most cribs are wood and have a plastic coating, designed to be chewed on. This is more like a mini jail cell, with genuine iron bars.

If you're going to insist on putting your baby in this, item number 3 on this list is also recommended.

Speaking of cribs, while searching around tonight I saw this thing. I bet it's probably really comfortable for the baby, but man is it creepy. If the baby spends too much time in this thing he'll probably end up on late-night radio in 30 years talking about his repressed memories of being abducted by aliens.

That's the Moffii cradle, aka the Alien Overlord Doom Pod. I kind of want one for me.

8) Feeding products designed to give dad the "experience" of breastfeeding.

There are many bottle slings and whatnots out there, designed to be put over the shoulder and hung right at the general nipple area in order to simulate breastfeeding.

No.

It's weird. Don't do it. There's nothing wrong with a dad spending as much time as possible caring for and feeding the baby, but this is over the top. I can guarantee you if your baby finds out once he's grown up, he'll never want to look at you again. This is just wrong...on so many levels.

(And if you really want to be freaked out, read the article about men who really produce milk.)

7) The Leash.

She kept jumping the fence, so a leash was the next step. We don't want to have to spay her.

Once you've sufficiently humiliated your baby by putting the toupee on, it's possible she may still have some self respect once she starts walking. Obviously you need to take her out into public and treat her like dog.

I have to admit I've seen plenty of toddlers out there who probably could use a leash. And you have to applaud parents who have proper control of their kids out in public. Plus it really can be a dangerous world out there. Now...I kind of only half-heartedly agree with this one. I think a lot of monster kids out there need leashes. And muzzles. My kids won't need either, though. The thought of misbehaving in public and experiencing my wrath will be leash enough. Which is exactly why I still clasp my hands behind my back when I walk into a crystal or china store...it's ingrained into my soul. Break something and forever rue the day.

6) The Stepford Baby Subliminal Programming CDs

There are tons of these on Amazon and Ebay. You play these CDs while baby sleeps, and she's bombarded with subliminal messages that'll help her grow up to be a genius.

I'm not a scientist. I don't know if subliminal advertising and programming works or not.

So let's assume just for a second that it does indeed work. Are you really that competitive that you are willing to mess with your baby's head just so she'll be motivated later in life to be a lawyer or an accountant, instead of a beatnik?

Do you know how sick and weird that is? I really hope people realize that a person's IQ is determined right at conception and there's nothing you can do to change it. Yeah, you can stimulate the brain and help it develop quicker, but the IQ remains the same. Which is exactly why I listen to Taylor Swift instead of Mozart. Yes, I like Taylor Swift...shut up.

5) The Tummy Tub
It's a bathing system for your baby.

Maybe it's just me, but sticking a baby in a bucket and then holding him by his head so he doesn't sink and drown doesn't exactly seem like the best method of giving him a proper bath. Does this remind anyone else of those sci-fi horror movies when the protagonist walks into the creepy science labs and sees those perfectly lighted jars filled with floating...things...that wink at you and eventually come alive?

4) Mommy's little sucker

A vacuum cleaner both mom and baby (well, toddler) can enjoy. This is a real vacuum that doubles as a toy a kid can ride. It's very neat looking.

When I first saw this, I thought it was awesome. But I keep getting these nagging little thoughts about it in practice, and I remember my mom. She likes the canister vacuum system. She always has. My dad used to have to buy her a new one every year because she would inevitably turn the corner and not look at where the canister part was, and it would plummet down the stairs to the first floor. Once it even caught on fire. Now imagine a screaming, deafened kid perched on back. I wonder what the weight limit is. Fun, right??



3) The ThudGuard

It's a hardhat for your little klutz.

While there are babies out there with genuine medical conditions that require protective gear, this is marketed toward the average baby. Better safe than sorry! Keep a hardhat on your baby at all times, and she'll never get hurt!

This is just as humiliating as the leash. We all want to keep our babies safe. But if you're going to do something like this, you might as well wrap them in bubble wrap and keep them in a padded room until they're 18. Sure, accidents happen. But there's a difference between an ounce of prevention and a pound of it. Most adults needs these.

2) The Baby Keeper.

It's a baby carrier you hang over a public restroom stall while you go.

While I guess something like this is needed from time to time, I suspect rubbing a baby across the wall of a public bathroom might not be the most sanitary solution. Now this is awesome. Two in one...baby holder AND bathroom entertainment.

1) The Zaky Pillow: aka The Bed Wetter.

Look at this thing. I challenge you to look at this and a not be completely freaked out:

Oh my gosh...oh my gosh...Maybe if I close my eyes, it can't get me... Agh! It's still there.

Disembodied zombie hands to hold the baby in place.

I don't care how well they say this works. It's the creepiest baby product I have ever seen, and it deserves its place as #1 on this list. PERFECT for their first Halloween.

Patio Beast

The other day, I was sweeping the patio and I see this spider just chillin and I'm like...alrighty, spider, off you go. But he doesn't go. I get a little bit closer and see that he's a fat little guy. And also, he's dead. I blew on him several times to make sure. Then I notice a pretty little red hourglass on his belly and I think, well, shucks, that's a black widow. And sure enough, it was. A dead one, but one nonetheless. On my patio. And I've seen them before, growing up in the woods, but I haven't seen one in awhile and I just think they're pretty. Now, we know I don't handle spiders well, but this one was no longer with us and completely harmless. I blew several more times just in case. And I got some pictures...I was bored that day. But just look how shiny and black he is.

Alrighty...enough about Dead Spider. So, David and I have spent the last weekend and most nights this week reorganizing our garage. When we started the whole "house re-do" project, we overlooked the fact that we would be moving furniture here and there and getting rid of stuff in the closets, etc. So, the garage became a dumping ground for uncategorized items and boxes (yes, I am very much like Monica on Friends). We finished the dining room, office, guest room, and nursery and got everything cleaned out and straightened up. Then, we walked into the garage and gasped. How did we let this happen? How did we not foresee this? We only let two people see in the inside of the garage during this time...Zack and Sara. Zack helped David move boxes up into the attic and Sara sees and knows all, so it couldn't be helped.

And last night, we FINISHED! OOOhh, you should see it. So clean and sparkly and beautiful. I mean, not really, it's just a garage, but it does make me sigh happily. AND, the best part is, we went up into the attic and went through all the boxes up there and I tell you what, I got rid of soooo much stuff. So, now I have a HUGEnormous pile of stuff to sell in the yard sale. It's going to be awesome. We also threw away a lot of stuff. The garbage pick-up was yesterday. The front curb of our house looked like a colony of trash moved into the neighborhood. There was even a broken elliptical machine. Which, the garbage men did not take. I don't blame them. It was kind of big. So, I left it there all day and figured David and I could move it back into the garage and he could take it to the dumpster at work later. Well, David came home and said, "Did you move the elliptical back into the garage? Because, it's gone." I said, "Yep...sure did. Seumas and I lifted it up over our heads and carried it into the garage." So, apparently, one of our neighbors is the proud owner of a broken elliptical machine. Fine with me because I don't have to deal with it. Here are some before and after pictures of the garage...

Before

After

Of course, neither of these are our garage, but you get the idea. It was literally that big of a difference. Yay for cleaning!

Fursday

Well, I am in a MUCH better mood today. I thought I for sure got to skip over the mood swings, but I think that's what this is now...oh well. I thought I'd give you an update on the gals.

They're starting their 22nd week today.

About a pound each (which makes me wonder about those other 18 pounds I've gained...18 pounds in my cheeks...and feet.)

11" head to feet.

Speaking of their little feet...yeah, those suckers kick ALL the time. Which is fabulous and I love it, but it's getting stronger and more frequent and sometimes it catches me off guard and I jump...even in public. You can see my stomach moving...which is craaaaaaaaaazy. I can't imagine what it's going to be like when they're 30+ weeks. I can't figure out how they're situated in there...trying to get David to feel them move is like playing Whack-A-Mole. They're spread out all the way down from the lower lowers up to the higher places.

My little day by day book said my uterus (I hate that word) should be reaching my belly button this week. Yeah, book, it reached my belly button weeks and weeks ago. It's completed it's upward momentum and now on to the outward. It's also telling me that they can hear now...so, all the lame-o singing I was doing up until now was pointless. But they listen to my iTunes with me during work. They really like the Christmas music, too. They blink now, which is weird and cool, even though their eyes are closed. They "practice" blinking, which, I thought, was a good thing...because you have to blink in the real world, kiddos. This is life. Get used to it.

It also says they have hair on their heads now...which is awesome! But, it's white...no pigment yet. What if they came out looking like Sting?

We're almost done with the nursery. And by almost, I mean, we have to do everything in there. The only big thing we really have to do is put up the crib...which we still have to buy. But at least I have it picked out. I'm going to put them in the same bed for awhile...until they're at least 18 or so.

We decided not to get a rocker/glider. #1, no room for it. #2, all of my "twin" books say don't rock them past 3-4 months because they start relying on it to go to sleep and you want to put them on a super tight schedule and not let them determine what that schedule is and help them to go to sleep on their own. So, I said, "okey dokey." Makes sense to me and it's one less piece of furniture. And I know the books aren't always right and every baby/set of twins is different, blah blah, but this is all I have to go on right now. So, we'll just see how it goes. It's all a learning process anyway.

David says I've been waddling. I don't think I have. I think I'm walking perfectly normal. Maybe HE'S waddling. I don't feel any different other than I have to bend over a little bit further to make sure my shoes match. I get winded a lot easier and my feet start hurting after awhile. Which makes me even more excited about the Fall/Winter because I can wear my super comfy moccasin boots again...the ones that Billy just loooooves. Right, Billy?

Well, that's about it.

Grrrrrrrrrrrrr...

I am super grouchy today. Like, SUPER grouchy. For no reason at all. Everything is making me mad. This stupid chair I'm sitting in. My t-shirt. The dog. The cat. David waking me up waaaaay too early because "well, I was up and couldn't go back to sleep, so I decided to get on up." The internet. My bowl of Honey Grahams that made my leftover milk too sweet to drink. Ugh. I hate that! The fan is blowing on me just a little too much...it's drying my eyes out. It's too stinking hot outside to SURVIVE. My belly is in the way and I can't scoot up very close to my desk...and the chair is ridiculous and stupid and I hate it. The fact that yesterday was the first day of FALL, but cool weather is nowhere to be found?? AAAACK. Whatever.

The great thing is that when I'm super super irritable, I'm completely over the top, unreasonable and just ridiculous. And I realize that. And it makes me laugh, which, in the end, kind of cheers me up. I'm not passive aggressive about it and I don't let it build up and then explode over something...I just get it all out in the moment.

Like, this morning...when David woke me up. He's just mosey-ing in the bathroom doing this or that making all kinds of noise and I'm like, "What. are. you. doing??" He says, "What, I couldn't sleep anymore." "Well, could you possibly take it down one TINY LEVEL from tornado fury to garbage disposal serenade?? That would be FANtastic. RAAAAAWWWWRRRRGH!!"

Or when Blue ran hysterically down the hall just for the heck of it and Seumas got all worked up and chased her, pouncing and bounding, making this ridiculous arf-ing bark. My normal limit for that scenario is about 7 seconds...this morning, it was 2.37 seconds. I could feel my ears turning red and I went to the hallway and pointed my finger and yelled at the furry children, "One more peep out of either of you for the rest of the day and you're ON THE STREETS! And I mean it! I won't even look back! You should pray you'd be so lucky to find a good home elsewhere!" (I will say they've been pretty quiet so far.)

It's probably a good thing I'm here by myself right now...

Guilty Pleasures

So, I got up this morning with no idea what to write about (as with most mornings) and I was reading through my buddies' blogs and got to Erin's post about guilty pleasures and I thought, "PERFECT, I'll steal her idea." Which is exactly what I'm doing. (Thanks, Erin!!)

I have countless guilty pleasures. These are some of the ones I should probably get help for...

Just like Erin, I also enjoy watching America's Next Top Model marathons. They're completely ridiculous. It's gone from a modeling competition to a who-can-get-all-up-in-whose-face-and-wave-their-arms-the-most competition. And it's awesome. I can't stop watching.

I also can't stop watching Giada at Home or Everyday Italian. That little Italian-American gets on my nerves so bad...along with her dangerously low-cut shirts...but I love her! Her big ole forehead and smile and chubby Hobbit hands...she's so endearing. I just wish she'd say "mozzarella" like most people.

Erin has a crush on Anthony Bourdain...I have a crush on Top Chef's Tom Colicchio. Sooooo precious and rawr!

Clover Valley's (Dollar General) Mint Thin Girl Scout rip-off cookies. I know, I know, Malinda...they're Communist cookies bent on destroying everything Girl Scout...but they're delicious!! And available all year! Don't worry, I'll still buy cookies from your troops.

I listen to Christmas music...all year long. Thankfully, I work from home, so no one but the dog and cat can hear me and they sing along. I love Christmas music.

I like to smell brand new tennis shoes. Even in the store (as long as I know they're brand new). I'm sure I look pretty amazing sniffing shoes, but they smell so good. OH, new books, too. I love to smell new books. That was one of my favorite things about college...the beginning of every semester...new books!

Eonline.com...yes, yes, I read it daily. I don't even like Hollywood, nor do I care about their opinions or what they're wearing or who broke up with who...but usually one of them has gotten into some kind of trouble and it's funny to read about.

Highlights magazine...aagh, I know. But if I'm ever at the doctor's office or dentist and I see a Highlights...I go straight for the "Hidden Picture" section. Those 4-12 year olds got nothin' on me!

The Ragdoll game on iPhone. It's slightly morbid, but completely hilarious...and awesome.

Looking through clearance at World Market. Those folks have tons of random stuff on clearance. Such as David's brand new Cuisinart ice cream machine...$12...thank you very much.

Taking slightly stalkerish pictures of people at the beach or airports.

Tostino's Pizza Rolls...that's all I need to say.

Having guests park their cars in our cul-de-sac where I know the grumpy neighbors will hate it.

Letting Seumas bark uncontrollably at the kids who ride their bikes through our yard as a shortcut to our part of the neighborhood. One of these days, I'm going to let him off his leash and then those kids will be met with a black fury, a dark soul ravaged by the merciless wrath of a werewolf-pig hybrid...who will probably run up to them, lick their hands and say "Let's play!"

Wrapping paper...it's so pretty and dainty and fun. And in the World Market clearaaaaaance...just saying.

Jurassic Park...I could watch that movie every day.

Well, that's about it...at least the ones I'm okay with sharing out loud. Hey, you should go read this post and watch the video on Kinsley's page if you haven't already...a song called White Man.

Best. Husband.

I have the most amazing husband and I am sooooo blessed that he got stuck with me. This weekend was super frustrating. It rained the entire time, it was hot and humid outside, nothing "summery" fit me, all of my cute cold weather clothes are too warm to wear right now, my hair wouldn't fix right, I looked gross, I couldn't help organize the garage because I can't lift anything heavy...it was just not my weekend (until last night when the gals had our fabulous breakfast for dinner Ladies' Supper over at Liza's...which was SOOOO FUN!). But, the rest of the weekend was poopy. I was just feeling super down. Until...

Saturday night, I had just finished my shower and was throwing on some pajamas. David and I were chatting and he stopped mid-sentence and said, "Is your butt getting smaller?" I said, "What?!" defensively (because of my all-weekend grumpiness, I just assumed it was a "Why are you getting fatter?" comment...even though he would never say that...I was just irritable.) He said, "No...you look like you've lost weight there." I softened a bit and kind of smiled..."Really?" He said, "Yeah...you can totally tell." 

"Awww, you're just saying that. It just looks smaller because of the gigantic couch in the front." 

"No, I mean it. You need to make sure you're eating enough." 

"Well, okay, thank you." I giggled to myself, feeling a lot better. 

Whether or not I really have lost weight there (I don't think I have), it meant the world to me and sweet little David said it at just the right time. I've gained 20 pounds and I'm feeling every single one of them...mostly in my face. 

I've got a good Hugsy and I'm thankful for that. 

Stuff My Grandparents Say

Grandparents (and "old people" in general) say the darndest things. Mostly because, they've lived long enough and have paid their dues and can pretty much say whatever they please...at least that's what the four of them tell me. I can't wait to be a grandmother some day. I'm happy now just being where I am, but I'm looking forward to getting to say whatever I want. I kind of do now...mostly, they're inner monologues, but every now and then (especially since being babied has taken away most of my filter), something ingenious and mean will slip out. It's very liberating. 

But for the majority of the time, grandparents just say crazy things. Usually they make no sense...they're completely quotable...and it makes you love them even more. Here are a few statements my grandparents have bestowed upon us...

 

Starring:

Mamaw and Papaw G (Mom's Parents)

Mamaw and Papaw A (Dad's Parents)

(The day we found out the twins were girls...up until this point, Papaw G was adamant they were boys.)

Ruth: Hey Papaw! 

Papaw: Weell heeeeeeeeeeeeey...well well, heeeeey...now who is this? Is this Bogue...or Weejer?

Ruth: Hey Papaw...it's Ruth. 

Papaw: Weelll....Ruthie R Ruthie...I knew that! You didn't even let me guess. 

Ruth: Okay, Papaw...well, we have some news! 

Papaw: They're boys, ain't they? I KNEW IT. I KNEW IT! Chester and Lester!

Ruth: Actually, Papaw...they're GIRLS! 

Papaw: GIRLS?! Two of 'em? Well, IIIIIII'll BE! That's great!! Well, shucks...I was way off. I would have bet my right arm they were boys. But girls...that's just great! You know, I've always said girls were the best. Don't tell your uncles. So, Myrtle and Gyrtle! 

Ruth: Yep! Now, you have to teach two more girls how to poop in the woods on a homemade twig toilet. 

Papaw: Well, of course I can do that! Somebody's got to teach them. Well, hang on, let me get Mamaw. SNUUUUUUUUFFFF!! It's Ruthie! They're BOYS---no, no wait! GIRLS!!

Mamaw: (voice muffled and distant as she approaches the phone) Well, Clyde...which are they? Boys or girls?

Papaw: They're girls, Snuff, that's what I said. Good gracious, Daphne...listen up. 

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(On a cruise with the whole family including grandparents...eating supper one night...waiter comes around with a selection of bread, asking what we want.)

Noah: I'll take the pretzel roll...thank you.

Ruth: I'll take this one (pointing to whatever because who knew there were different names for bread).

Sara: I'll have the rye...thanks. 

Mamaw A: Hmmmm...grab me one of those french rolls, please. 

Papaw A: No, no...none for me. (Waving his hand in disapproval.) 

Ruth: You don't like bread, Papaw? You never get any...at least get one and one of us will eat it.

Papaw A: Nope. No bread. Ain't nothing in it that's healthy. It's just white bread. It's just empty calories...empty calories. 

Mamaw A: (silently enjoying her french roll) Shut up, Gerald. 

Papaw A: I'm just sa--

Mamaw A: Shut up, Gerald. 

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(Family sitting around in the living room talking...Noah notices Mamaw G's legs are badly scratched)

Noah: Mamaw, how did you scratch your legs so bad? 

Mamaw: (Looking down as she had apparently forgotten about the ginormous abrasion on her left shin) Ohhh...oh that. Yeah...well, I was in the garage...and you know how my thumbs give out. Well, I was leaning on that old table when--

Ruth: Wait...wait...back up..."you know how my thumbs give out" ??

Mamaw: Yeah, you know...sometimes if you're just using them, they buckle under the weight.

Ruth: Well, Mamaw...what kind of weight are you putting on your thumbs that they would buckle? Do you walk on them...or push semi-trucks with them? 

Mamaw: Well, no, Ruth...I just mean...you know how your knees can buckle...well, sometimes your thumbs do that, too. 

Noah, Dad, Mom, Papaw G, Ruth and Peter: No...Mamaw...we have not experienced that. That is not a real thing.

Mamaw: Well, y'all just hush. Y'all are mean. 

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(On a mission trip to Jamaica with Dad and Mamaw A...discussing our day-off adventures - hiking down Lover's Leap...a very steep and strenuous hike down to the beach and back up again)

Sara: Hey, Mamaw...do you want to hike down Lover's Leap with us? 

Mamaw: Is that the steep one? 

Ruth: Yes. 

Mamaw: You have to hike back up, though, right? (Cynicism in her voice...one eyebrow raised)

Sara: Well, you're more than welcome to just hike down, but then you'll have to live on the beach for forever. 

Mamaw: Well, heavens no...it's called Lover's Leap for a reason...after two stupid young people. And you know what happened to them...they both died. DIED. I ain't hiking down that. I'll watch you from the lookout and I'll call the helicopter when it's obvious you both need to be carried out. Have fun! Take some water with you.  

Cutest. Thing. Ever.

Man takes his 3-year old daughter to a Phillies game and catches his first foul ball. Hands the ball to his daughter (already a super cool thing to do) and she tosses it back. Instead of getting mad, he smiles and hugs her. This is a good dad right here. 

I Got Nothin'

Well kids, it's been a super busy week and I haven't even had a chance to think about a post. I am going to write about the meaning of the girls' names, but I'm waiting to talk to both of my grandmothers to make sure I'm getting all of the info right. 

So, until then, here are the things I've learned so far this week: 

Jessica Simpson's dog will not be returned by the coyote that took her, no matter what kind of reward she's offering. 

Kanye West is just a little more important than everybody else. 

The twins have upped their game and are no longer fighting each other. They have joined forces and are fighting my internal organs. My pancreas is putting up a good fight, though.

I think that's about it...see, told you. Busy week. Those are three huge events. 

So, what should I be for Halloween? I've already thought of... 

1. Bun(s) in the Oven

2. Alien(s) bursting out of my stomach, blood everywhere

3. Peas in a Pod

4. A pregnant Old Greg

I'm so at a loss. I can't think of anything. 

Home Sweet Home

David and I got back yesterday evening from a fun mini-trip to Ole Virginia. We went to visit my client up there and to touch base, have meetings, hang with folks, etc. We always have a good time when we go. The people are pretty much fantastic. I just want to pick 'em up and hug 'em. 

We stayed at the cookie hotel again...awesome, as always. 

We found ways to keep ourselves occupied. 

David calls this one the Breaching Whale.

On Friday, I headed up to the office to do some work. 

This is one of the many work-related things I accomplished that day.

I heard a lawn mower outside and looked out the window to see how he was doing...hmmmm...not so great. I'm going to call this one Lawn Mowing Fail. 

Saturday morning, we went to Target to finish our registry. WAY more fun than registering online, even though the choices were still overwhelming. 

"What to get??" 

"I dunno!!"

David says, "What are these for?" I says, "I dunno. We should register for them, though, cuz they look like coffee filters."  (We did not register for them, btw, and promptly returned them to the coffee aisle, because obviously they were out of place.)

While we were there, I registered myself a baby daddy.

Pow! Pow! Registry...done.

Can I? The answer is "no", sweetheart. 

On Saturday afternoon, BJ and Justin took us to Colonial Williamsburg. It was a lot of fun! We both love historical stuff. There's a ton to see and do there. 

Adorable, white picket fences were everywhere.

The cobbler...who, I swear, was from either Bermuda or Canada. He was not really from 1700's America. I'm onto you, Mr. Cobbler.

Dapper and Dan...those are the names I gave them.
They had their own garden.
Feeeeeed me, Seymour!! Feeeeeeeed meeeeeeeeeee!
See the little sheep waaaay in the distance?
"Ma! Pa! Come see what washed up in the well!" a delighted Tillie squealed as she swung open the gate, her bare feet pounding the dirt porch of their white-washed house. (This just seemed like a fitting setting for this short story I'm writing...Tillie and the Dead Frogs in the Well.)
Can you make me a quilt that has a leopard fighting a bear on it? 
Run! A Colonial Williamsburger is coming down the alleyway to attack us!

I don't know how long this guy was on the tour, but we got out of there fast. 
The apothecary. 
Waaaaait a second...this isn't Edinburg Castle! Hang on! This isn't even Scotland! I need to speak to the manager. 
Reenacting at the old capitol building. 
Inside the Thomas Everard house. They painted it this green and lacquered it to help reflect the light...cuz, you know, no electricity, and they gotsta see!

The original block print wallpaper of the Everard house. Not the original wallpaper itself, but the original print. I thought it was pretty cool. 
Some ginormous oak tree. 
The mayor, maybe? He was inside the courthouse. 
Martha Washington's grandparents' house. How cool is that?!
One of the oldest churches in America. Still being used today for worship services. 

On Saturday night, some friends ate out Hibachi with us and surprised us with cute balloons and fabulous gifts! So sweet! 

They're gonna be mad I posted these pictures. I didn't use a flash, so the quality is bad anyway. Left to right...Crystal, John Paul, Ben and Kristen. 

BJ and Justin

Justin, T (Thomas) and Sabrina

Bring me those noodles, Hin-Sao!

Yuuuum!

Headin' home! 

There's someTHING on the WING!  

I's just kidding.

Are we there yet?

David trying to see what 15C was playing.

My travel buddy.

Piper Lee and Harper's first plane ride. 

20 Weeks!