Boys/Girls, Hugsy, Friends and Inappropriate Ads

So....FINALLY...today at 1:30, we'll find out if the munchkins are ladies or gents. I can't even believe it. It seems like it's been forever that we've had to wait and y'all know how impatient I am. Y'all have been absolutely no help on the poll. It's basically been 50/50 the entire time. Boys are winning by one. My mom was upset because it only let her vote once and she was wanting to rig it towards girls. I'm still going with girls...David's still going with boys. This whole time, though, I've not been able to get boy/girl out of my mind, but I know that's not possible with identical. WELL...come to find out...even though they're showing in the ultrasound that they're more than likely identical, there's still a SMALL chance they're fraternal (you apparently never really know unless you have a DNA test in the womb [which is not happening] or until they come out [Shane likes that terminology much better than "birthed."]). So...I'm still kind of holding on to that it's a boy and girl. I don't know why, but that's what's seemed right to me this whole time. Guess we'll find out laters today. I will let y'all know tomorrow! Seeing as how 99.9% of you will find out this afternoon when I call you, you'll already know, but I ain't got much else to blog about for tomorrow. 

Well, I've got to say it...I have the world's best husband and the world's best friends. I know you might think you do, but I'm sorry...I do. NASA has funded and approved my research...it's irrefutable. Tomorrow is my berfday! Whoop whoop! And the Hugsy and my friends had a surprise party for me last night. It was FABULOUS. I was totally surprised. Which is amazing, because it's really hard to surprise me. So, props to them for being sneaky sneakersons. I didn't have my camera, so my dear sister took pictures with hers and I'll post them tomorrow. I ate way too much amazing food. I embarrassed myself incredibly by crying when they surprised me. Sorry, guys, I didn't know that was going to happen. It just meant the world to me. Y'all are wonderful and I am sooooo blessed to have you in my life. And David...thank you for everything. You are amazing. I love you, darling. Bow chica bow wow...

Also, I feel the need to apologize for some inappropriate Google ads on the side of my blog. I've been made aware by more than one person about the suspicious nature of one or more ads that have been know to pop up occasionally. It's not like I write about the Trojan Horse, so I don't know what the deal is. Sneaky ads. 

Yay for ultrasounds! 

John Wayne

David and I were in Lowe's last night (again) and I ran to the restroom and as I'm reaching for the roll, I read this fabulous little description of the toilet paper. This may be a common thing to say, but I've never heard it...nor have I seen it written on the dispenser. Thought I'd share. And you know what...it was partly true. Right on, Sharpie Girl...write on. 

Me and Sara

So, Sara (the sistah) got all up in a tizzy because I told y'all she was a cannibal but I (heaven forbid) failed to mention to y'all that I was a heroin addict. (These were just dreams we had of each other, of course. I'm not really a heroin addict.) Anyways...so, I've copied and pasted what she wrote on her blog about her dream of me. 

Mr. Sandman, Bring me a dream...

Since Ruth decided to share her horrific dream she had about me the other night on her blog, I decided that I needed to share my dream about her. We must have some weird sister brain connection cause we had these dreams on the same night.

Here is my dream about her:

Ruth and I were in this huge hotel .... I have no idea why... and Ruth thought it would be a great idea to try heroin. She said that being pregnant made her have this huge craving for heroin and she just had to try it. So she orders some from room service and they brought it up to her. I begged and pleaded with her do not do it. "please, please don't do that heroin, Ruth. It's bad for the babies. You have to think about them over your cravings." But she wouldn't listen to me.. she just had to try it. So I left Ruth and the twins with the heroin.

The rest of my dream consisted of my car being stolen from the parking deck of the hotel. I was devastated cause my Mac was in the car. So that's it. That's my story about my dream.

I am a cannibal and Ruth likes heroin.

Can I help that the twins like illegal drugs? No. Anyways. 

Sara and I are super close. We weren't always, though. We were pretty mean to each other growing up. Well, she was mean...I was an angel. She would tell me horror stories and from the ages of 4 until probably 18, I couldn't sleep without checking the closets and under my bed. She informed me that there was an octopus that lived under my bed and would grab my legs unless I ran and jumped to get into bed. Also, there was an unconnected hand that roamed the halls at night. I thought by naming him Mike, it would add a hint of friendliness, but no...it made it worse. Mike, with his chipped nails and split cuticles, was roaming the halls...little patters of fingers.... I would pick up the phone when she was talking to a friend or boyfriend and make noises. Back in the days of dial-up, I would hog the internet for hooooours just so she couldn't use the phone. We'd blame each other for everything. When Noah and Peter came along...we discovered we were geniuses and could blame them for everything, so we did. I think that's when our bonding process started. 

Sara and I were super duper tomboys...still are, actually. We liked cowboys and Indians and building forts and throwing knives and tomahawks, etc. Well, we had cowboy hats, boots and vests each, but only one Indian headdress. Who would be the Indian? Little 3-year old Noah. We'd grab the red clay in the front yard and cover him in it...he made a delightful little Indian boy. When he and Peter (when Peter came along) were a little older...we'd gather acorns in our Indian pouches (our great-great grandmother was a full-blooded Cherokee and we heard so many amazing stories about her, so we liked Indians...just to clarify all the Indian talk) and use the brothers as target practice for our slingshots. Sometimes (usually) they'd tattle on us and we'd get in trouble, but it'd be worth it. Because we had amazing aim, so all the practice paid off. 

Thankfully, we live in the same city, so I get to see her all the time. She's a great sister and a great friend...a cannibal...but no less a great friend. 

Random Thoughts for Today

Why is Lost not coming back on until February? That's the dumbest thing ever. OR...the most brilliant thing ever because the twinsies will be here before then and I can watch my show with them! 

No, Richard Hatch, you didn't get put in jail because you're gay. I think it had something to do with you not paying your taxes. It's like, illegal or something. Think about it for next time. 

What's up with hurricane season just now starting? Does it always start this late? I don't think it does. Not that I'm complaining...

My mom has forbade me from buying anything baby-ish until after my showers. That's a tough thing to do. Especially when there's SO MANY cute things on gap.com. What she doesn't know is that after our appointment on Monday, David's taking me shopping to get some baby stuff...just clothes, Mom...after we find out whether they're Phoebe's or Phoebo's. I can't stand it any more!!! Anyways. 

I've decided that a lot of the pregnancy "rules" are for the people who would abuse them anyway and I'm not one of those, so I ate some deli meat the other day and it was wonderful. I don't wear sunscreen every. single. time I walk outside. I drank hot chocolate last night. I play the banjo during the full moon (the FDA hasn't officially tested that one yet). 

I've updated my favorite movies list...Princess Bride, Braveheart, Drop Dead Fred, Jurassic Park, The Fall. Yeah, I'm not super deep when it comes to movies...but these make me happy. 

Night before last, I dreamed my sister was a cannibal. And she was slowly eating all of us while we slept, but we never knew it because she would sew us back up. Is that not the most morbid and disturbing thing ever? I told Sara about it yesterday...she laughed. I'm just saying...sleep with one eye open if she's in the house.  

Sometimes, I'll sing to the bebes...and I'm worried that the first thing they'll say when they come out is "Mom...shut...up...." 

I cut my bangs the other night and they look FABULOUS. And by "fabulous", I mean "they look okay." 

I would probably donate Seumas to a museum for freesies if someone would build a Chick-fil-A in town. All I want is a chicken breakfast biscuit. 

Okay people...have a good day...and use your blinkers. They save lives and save you from my wrath. 

Well...that's just dumb

So, I have a little day-by-day pregnancy book I go through...day-by-day...and it's pretty fun. It's very informative and a lot less scary than the What to Expect/Morbid Die book. The thing is...it's starting to get kind of bossy and well, really judgmental. And this isn't just my hormone-induced perception. I told my mom some of the stuff it was saying and she agrees with me. And just because my mom and I are the exact same person, just a few years apart, doesn't matter either. It's a super sassy book...which, normally, I would be like, hey, alright, my kind of book. But, this book, I just want to fight. 

For instance, the first few weeks, it was all like, "Your baby is blah blah ounces and he/she is starting to grow her vertebrae, etc." and "You probably don't want to eat a lot right now, so try drinking juice and mild whatever." You know...nice, helpful things. But now, it's like, "Your baby is blah blah ounces and he/she is affected by every single thing you say. Your child could become a serial killer if you watch too many Cold Case Files reruns." I'm like...nah ah...that's a lie, book. But, I'm still kind of like...well...huh. And then it's starting to say stuff like, "You know you're probably going to get stretch marks...because you eat so much. There's nothing you can do about it. So, eat away, fattie." And I know I'll get stretch marks and I really couldn't care less. If you're prone to get them, you'll get them and yeah, sure, lotions will help reduce them, but it's genes and whatever anyways. I'd like to see the stretch mark haters house another human being (or two) for 9 months. But, still, the book doesn't have to say it so harshly. Tact, please. 

And then, there's the ordeal of the legumes. Where it was at first telling me to eat whatever I could get down, now it's telling me I need to eat more legumes and vegetables high in fiber. Also, sugars are sooooo bad for you, so "stay away from the cookies and too much juice and sugary fruits, etc." I'm thinking, Oh, okay...YOU eat your legumes and fiber all day long and see how you like it...you freak. Legumes this and legumes that. Now, I like beans and peas, don't get me wrong...but I don't want two jolly green giants coming out. I'm a very healthy eater (mostly) and I want my kids to enjoy their lives...not eat cardboard for most of it. And, I'm FINALLY getting back to where I like sweet stuff again and I'm not going to miss it. Also, the Dollar General has their own version of girl scout cookies now for $1.50 a box...and they're AMAAAAAZING. So, eat that, day-by-day book.  

Suh-eriously

So...sorry I've been MIA for 47 years. Our internet went completely out Wednesday night due to some "network outage" in our area. By "internet outage," they mean "internet lie." We finally got it back up and running Saturday evening. Took a woman at our provider company to reestablish it for us. Finally, someone smart enough to get it working...turned out to be a woman. That's right. It's nice when you're on vacation and you have no connection to the outside world. Wonderful. But, it's not so wonderful when it's your livelihood and you really really really need the interwebs. Thankfully, my super sweet client is incredible and was totally understanding about it. I love you guys. Anyways. I'm back up and running now. 

Noah came to visit us this weekend before heading back up to school. Starting Friday about 5pm, David, Noah and I cleaned out the guest room and nursery and prepared both for a weekend o' painting. We headed to Lowe's and got the rest of the paint and supplies...which took for.e.ver but we got some good stuff, so it was worth it. Then, starting Saturday morning about 9am, we painted until 10 that night...stopping to eat and maybe watch the occasional Wipeout rerun. Sara and buddy Jeremy came over and helped us paint all day Saturday and I love them both for it. Sunday morning (yes, we skipped church), we got up again (barely) and painted, sawed, sanded, painted, nailed, painted, vacuumed, painted and painted and about 1opm last night...we finished. And it was good. Don't worry, all you über-moms, I wore a mask and the rooms were well-ventilated and Dr. Mac said I could paint, so I painted. 

I will never paint again. I don't think we will ever move out of this house. Too much blood, sweat and tears has gone into these hallowed halls...rooms...whatever. We only have like one hall. I am soooo happy someone else is installing the floors. I could not be happier with the rooms. But, thank goodness it's all done. Now, all I have left is the fun part...decorating. And how great was the weather this weekend...soooooo stinking nice. 

The best part is, when my internet was out, I got a head start on cleaning out the two rooms and organizing. I went through this little chest/stool my dad made me when I was a little girl (which will be in the nursery for the kiddos) and I found the most incredible stuff from the 80's/early 90's. Woo hoo! Shades and perm pick...what every gal needs. 

Troll dolls! EEEEEcccck...creep-o. I totally forgot I had these. 
Look at their eyes. It's like they're staring into my soul. I was going to throw them away, but I decided to keep them...might need them for Halloween one year. 

Anyways...as soon as I finish the rooms, I'll post pictures. 

Lub lub lub lub lub

On Sunday, Dad borrowed a Doppler from the hospital and we got to hear the babies' heartbeats again, which was super duper fun. We've learned that they've already developed completely different personalities despite being identical twins. I gave them iPods last month to congratulate them on graduating to their second trimester...it's amazing what they listen to in there. 

Here's the boring "real" heartbeats video. It's not as interesting. 

El Weekend

Friday night, we (Sara, David and I) drove south to the parents' house for a weekend of canoeing, shopping, and family-ing. Brother Noah heads back up to college this weekend and we thought it was a good time for us all to get together. Sara, David, Noah and my Dad (Peter had to work) all went canoeing with the youth group all day Saturday. It was too hot for me, although I wanted to go. I'm pretty amazing at outdoorsy stuff. I got letters every year in canoeing at summer camp. Yeah. So, Mom, Mamaw and I went shopping all day Saturday. I gotta say, that was more fun than canoeing would have been, I do believe. Saturday night, we played some board games. I'll go ahead and tell you, don't play Sara in a board game, she always wins. Or cheats. I haven't figured out which yet. 

Sunday after church, Dad suggested we head up to the hospital for lunch and to see if we could use the ultrasound machine to figure out if we could see if the babies had stuff or not. We were like, uhhh YES! Unfortunately, the technician had an emergency come in and they had to use the machine, but we still got to borrow the Doppler to hear the heartbeats again, which was fun fun. The babies have become more independent and one of them has swam over to the right. So, now my innards are symmetrical, which is nice, but it also means I feel them moving and sucker punching me on both sides. So, we still have to wait 2 weeks before we find out. Two weeks is an ETERNITY. I know that's a tad dramatic, but still. 

So, I've been asking around what people think the kiddos are. So far, it's about 50/50. My entire family on my Mom's side is insistent they are girls. All except my grandfather. He is ADAMANT they are boys. He's told me he's had several dreams about them being boys. My immediate family all says they're girls. The majority of our friends, minus about 2-3 says they're boys. I have no idea. I can't even guess. But, David is certain they're boys, so of course, I'm saying they're girls. We have an agreement. If they're girls, I get to hold the gun when we register and pick out all of the girly clothes. If they're boys, he gets to hold the gun and pick out all of the boy clothes. Seems fair to me. I want to put up one of those poll things to see what folks think, but I gotta find one that's not baby creepy. 

I realize this is the most boring post ever, but it was a busy weekend and well, I'm out of stuff for right now. I'll post the heartbeat video tomorrow. 

The Seumas Dog

I haven't posted many pictures of Seumas lately...mainly because Blue's pure evil demands a lot of attention. But Seumas is a sweet sweet puppy. A little demanding at times, but overall, a good person...ahem, dog. It's taken about two years, but he and Blue have become good buddies. She keeps him in his place and he loves to run and head-butt her, which she just adores, as you can guess. Here's some pictures from this summer. 

This is his summer "outfit." I think he looks like a greasy Miami mobster with loads of chest hair. All he needs now is a big gold chain and cigar. It's amazing how much joy spending $.25 at Target can bring you. 

This is his preferred method of napping. 

This is where he goes when he's in trouble. He starts out on the carpet and slinks and slides his way under the bed. It's pitiful.

"But, I didn't know you wanted the rest of your key lime pie. You don't look like you need it anyway...I was just trying to help, Mom." 

They've gotten to where they can finally lay down together.

The bonds of friendship span the galaxy and break down down the barriers of species. (I did not put their paws like this...it's amazing this happened on its own.) 

In the end, Blue's malevolence always wins. Tragically, another innocent life claimed by malice and hatred of all things good.

Random Facts About Me

I am a HUGE Star Trek fan. I do love me some Star Wars, but Star Trek takes it for me. And yes, I do believe that James T. Kirk can kick some skinny leather-panted Han Solo booty. Rant and rave all you want, this is my blog and my opinion. 

I have 7 tattoos (one of which is now covered up by another one, but I still count it because there were still needles.) Most people know about this. What you probably don't know about is my upper back tattoo...the dragon-bear fighting a two-headed wizard in front of a beautiful mountain range at sunset... with butterflies watching. It's amazing. 

This is more of a confession...Mom, one time, a long time ago, when Sara and I had the stomach flu...you were taking our temperatures and walked out of the room and while you were gone, Sara and I held our thermometers under my lamp so you'd let us stay home from school one more day. Whew! I feel much better now that I've gotten that off my chest. 

I got my first cell phone when I was 18 and I survived just fine without it the first 17 years. And I personally think it's ridiculous that 5 year olds are walking around with Blackberries. 

My dad pierced mine and my sister's ears. We'd beeeeeg Mom to let us add more holes (we have three in one ear and two in the other) and she'd say "okay" and drive us up to Dad's office (he's a doctor). He'd numb our ears up with lidocaine or xylocaine, whatever, and pop the stud through...made the most amazing noise. He's a good dad. 

I worked for 8 weeks total in Jamaica as a pharmacist's assistant on medical/dental mission trips. Because of this, I can read anybody's handwriting. I'm expecting a call from the FBI any day now. I also had to help the dentists hold down patients while they pulled teeth and performed surgery with very little anesthesia...I had to wear a blood shield. I also helped clean up the worm-infested vomit from little children and helped clean up insect burrows in people's heads. We ate Mamish water (goat intestines, tongue and lungs in water), goat and oatmeal mush. Good times. 

I am very adamantly pro-life. 

I get a small sense of satisfaction when I accidentally break a dish or glass. But then again, who doesn't? 

I can't stand it when people don't close their blinds/shutters/curtains at night and I'm over at their house. You know that burglars have eyes, right? If you want to walk around all vulnerable in your house, that's fine...just wait until I leave. That's why when you come to my house at night, it's like a fortress. I trust no one. (chuck chuck...that's me arming the shot gun). 

I am very, very, very immature. That's why I haven't signed up for the breast feeding class at the hospital yet. It's hard for me to even type that without giggling. 

I never skipped a single class in college. I tried to once...my roommate was in the same class and I was going to borrow her notes. But I woke up and I couldn't do it, so I went. It was for American Literature...taught by an extreeeeeeeme feminist, so it would have been the one class I would have wanted to skip, but my conscience wouldn't let me. 

I think bats are SO stinking cute. I'm not going to try and catch one or anything...I'm just saying.

I am not a crafty person. Most people think I should be, but I'm not. I can't even cut a straight line with scissors. I can barely use a glue stick. Martha Stewart would hate me. 

I can give you a Friends reference for any moment in life. 

I have a very high IQ...it's like 207 or something. 

I make up stuff a lot, but almost everything I say is true.

David and I didn't kiss until we had been dating for two years. How 1800's is that. We were each other's first kiss. (giggle giggle) Now, we make out all the time. (tee hee)

I LOVE Lisa Frank and Hello Kitty. I don't think girls every get tired of that. 

When I was maybe 9-12 or so, I never even bothered to check to see if my undies were on backwards or inside out...I just grabbed something and put them on. And Mom would be like, "Ruth...take the time to dress yourself properly." And I'd be like, "Laaaame." And she would make me check and I would do it so often that if they were, in fact, backwards or inside out, she'd make me pay her $1 each time. I probably put around $100 towards my underwear's college fund during those years. That's why it takes me forever to get dressed now...I'm very careful to make sure everything is in the right place. I don't want to pay Mom any more money.

I loathe little girl beauty pageants. Just watch Toddlers and Tiaras and you'll understand. I'm fine with beauty pageants in general. If you daughter wants to be in them, that's cool, just dress them like a little girl...not like a snow beast. If you're putting your daughter through all of that...teased hair, more make-up than a drag queen, fake teeth (FAKE TEETH!!), horrendous outfits that cost more than a mortgage, ridiculous hours that a child shouldn't have to suffer through, and provocative dancing all to "wow" the judges...then it should be something they want to do and it shouldn't be for you. So, if your daughter doesn't win and she's fine with it, but you're in the corner BAWLING your eyes out, rocking in the fetal position saying "why? why? why didn't we win? I don't understand!," then maybe you should rethink your reasons for entering her. And seriously, your daughter looks like a Wampa from the ice planet Hoth. She's 4. 

I could eat cereal for every meal...every day...and be totally fine. That's not a pregnancy thing...that's a Ruth thing. 

I haven't had a caffeinated drink (other than the occasional hot chocolate during the winter) since 2000. I really, really, really miss Dr. Pepper and sweet tea. 

I have no idea how to sew. So, if we're stranded on a deserted island and we're all given duties...don't put me on clothes-making duty because you'll all be wearing coconut tops and banana leaf bottoms. 

Is it just me...

...or do you freak out and think you're color blind when you're at a red light and it turns green, but the car beside you doesn't start moving along with you. So, you pause for a second and stare hard at the light to make sure it's green and yes, it's green, but the other car still isn't moving and you don't want to be the idiot that goes on a red light. You start wondering, am I just seeing green? Then, you look over and realize that the other driver is a 16-year old texter not paying attention and you smirk their way and drive on through...feeling good about the fact that there are 16-year olds out there texting at red lights, making you question your color judgment. 

...or do you eat WAY too may tortilla chips at a Mexican restaurant before they bring your real food and by the time it gets there, you're so full, you eat maybe 2 bites and then ask for a to-go box and the waiter looks at you like "Really? That's all you're eating?" And it makes you feel wasteful. And you want to say, "It's cuz of your tortilla chips!" Those chips are devious...and wonderful. 

...or should weather.com be changed to lie.com...run by a colony of liars? 

...or does the new G.I. Joe movie look absolutely ridiculous? (I know every guy in America just heard me say that...I'm sure it reverberated through their souls.) Well, it does. I'm sorry. It should be called G.I. Lame. That's not what the real G.I. Joes looked like. Believe me, I know. My brothers' G.I. Joes recruited mine and Sara's Barbies for many missions in the back yard...and used their Convertible as the enemy tank.

...or is the new cop in town pretty cute? He's no Davey Pooh, but he's not an ugo either. I'm going to call him Officer McCutie. 

...or do you just love school supplies? I'm not even going to school or have kids going to school, but I want to go fill up a backpack with pencils and erasers and markers and tape and scissors. That was one of my favorite things about going to school...even in college. I love school supplies. This time of year always makes me happy. Also because the kids are gone and not riding their bikes down my hill. 

...or are the people at Publix the nicest people on Earth? Their produce is excellent and the people are friendly...why would you shop anywhere else? 

...or should Cadbury Eggs (the cream ones) be available all year long? Why are they not? It's really unfair. I'm going to write them a letter. 

...or is the Fall taking forever to get here? 

...or are you bewildered as to why they built a Taco Bell in town instead of something like, I dunno, a Chick-fil-A? Do people even eat at Taco Bells anymore? That's just me being snobby. I've never liked Taco Bell and I'm upset they didn't built something more...good. 

Why? (part 3)

We painted the dining room and new office space this weekend...and by "we" I mean Sara and David painted and I supervised from a safe and well-ventilated distance. I did don a mask later and helped touch up the trim. I must say, I am very very very happy with the colors and they did a fabulous job of painting. It looks sooooo much better. The floors and countertops are being measured today and then in two weekends, we'll paint the guest room and nursery and then DONE! (Except for the nursery, which we'll probably furnish in the fall sometime) Sigh...can't wait. Anyways. I haven't done a "Why" post in awhile, so I thought today was a good day for one. 

Why would you have such long fingernails when you work at the paint counter at Home Depot? That just seems like a lot of trouble. 

Why is Waffle House sooooo delicious? 

Why do the mushrooms in our neighbor's yard always make me think of Alice in Wonderland? 

Why are you so mean, old man at Target? Being rude and grumpy doesn't get you ahead in line any faster, so calm yourself down! 

Why are you spending WAY too long in the college furniture section trying to decide between espresso and oak when your daughter will be in her room maybe 3 hours a day and that side table will be covered by clothes and books within 5 minutes anyway? Pick a color and move along. Some of us have to get our carts through the aisle. 

Why does Giada deLaurentiis kind of get on my nerves and yet why can't I stop watching her show?

Why would I want you to stop me in the middle of the mall and start straightening my hair? #1. Don't touch me. Or my hair. #2. You can't just grab people and expect them to be okay with it. #3. Your product is dumb. #4. I will beat you with the straightening iron. 

Why would you spit your gum out in a public area...even grass? People walk there, you know. What, are you five? How about you be an adult and throw it away or hey, swallow it. That whole "takes 3 years to pass" is a lie. You'll pass it soon enough...painlessly. And it prevents you from getting a gum-covered shoe thrown at your head. 

Why am I so grouchy today? Ah, who cares. 

Why is the What to Expect pregnancy book so scary? I'm not reading that one anymore. I'm going to start reading Butterflies and Rainbows...because it's a happy book. 

Why am I so terrified of getting my kids home and mixing their names up? I mean, nobody but God will know, right? Ah, still...it's a fear. 

Why do girls have to shave their legs and not guys? Uh, not fair. 

Why do I really really really still want Waffle House? 

Housey House

We got to thinking about colors for the nursery the other day. We do plan on finding out if the squatters are mens or ladies, but I'm not super huge on pastel pinks and blues or anything related. So, either way, we decided to do everything in neutral colors. No theme...#1, I can't think of a theme and #2, anything I DID think of would be silly and probably give them nightmares. So, no theme! (said in the voice of Edna) 

Anyways. The nursery has pretty high ceilings, which is going to be a paaaaaain to paint. So, I told David, "Why don't we just do a whole bunch of painting and get everything we want done...done." He liked that idea and I've been wanting to paint the dining room, guest bedroom and office space, so we figured if we're going to be doing a lot of painting, might as well do it all. Then we got to talking about the floors. I'm not a fan of carpet. David loves carpet. So, he's letting me put new floors down in the whole house as long as I leave the carpet in the bedroom. Gag, but it's a good compromise. So, I've picked out some fabulous bamboo hardwoods that I just want to hug because they're pretty and tropical-y. (And cheaper than some of the laminate...whaaaaaat? I know, right.) 

Then, I decided I hate the kitchen. (I've been watching WAY too much HGTV, btw.) So, new countertops, backsplash and decluttering...sooooooo excited about that. Our kitchen isn't huge at all, so making it look pretty wont' be too hard and David loves to cook so I want it to be nice for him. 

Then, David decided he wants to transform the backyard. He loves loves loves decks, so he wants to build one with some raised planters and maybe a little fountain. How cute is that. So, I told him he could do whatever he wanted with the yard if I could pick out the floors and paint colors. (He would have let me do it anyway, because he's a sweetie pie.) 

We're headed to Home Depot on Saturday to talk about everything with some guy there, because there's nooooo way we can put down hardwoods or countertops ourselves. I'll post up before and after pictures. I know Shane really wants to see those. We are painting this weekend, so if you're bored or like to paint, stop on by and grab a brush. I'm making cookies...or something. And we have water you can drink. 

I don't know how this turned into a home improvement post...I lost a lot of sleep over it last night just thinking about stuff...so I thought I'd drag y'all into it with me. :)

What Would You Do for Some Chick-fil-A?

Well, I would drive 18 minutes in my pajamas, doofy hat and no make-up just for some chicken nugget goodness and then 18 minutes back. Totally worth it. 

The lemon babies started knocking the other day and yelled up at me, "Hello, Incubator." I replied with a "What?" They proceeded to tell me, "Well, we'd like some Chick-fil-A...how 'bout you get on that?" I said, "You know what...I kind of want some, too. Let's go!" So off we went. We fought over what to order, but I won in the end, seeing as how I'm the one with the most developed motor skills and a checking account. We got a #5...8-piece nuggets, waffle fries and a Sprite. Perfect.

Don't be jealous of my styyyyyyle. 
You know you want a hat like this. $2 at Old Navy...got it maybe 8 years ago, I think. 
Look at that...just waiting for me.

Oh, #5, you've never looked so good. 

The price of happiness, you ask = $5.82

(Mom, chill out, I took the pictures while I was parked.)

Mono and Di

On Monday, I had my 14-week check-up at the doctor's. We got to hear the heartbeats for the first time...THAT was a lot of fun. Nurse Lady loaded mah belly up with that jelly stuff and fished away. She found the first one super fast and it was loud. I thought it was my heartbeat. Then, she fished away for the other one and couldn't find it for a second. I got a little nervous, said a prayer and then Nurse Lady goes, "Ohh, there he is. He was hiding behind the other one. Ha ha. That's sweet." And I'm like, "Yeah, sweet." And then I inner-monologued scolded the kids, "I told you not to hide from your mother. You come when I call, understand?" So, they're both hanging out on my left side, which is weird. AND, it confirms that I have, in fact, been feeling them move for a little while now. Always on my left side, down low, and that's right where she found the heartbeats. So, boo-yah in your face, websites that said I couldn't feel them until I was about 18 weeks. Nurse Lady said they were moving around a lot and I made sure they weren't going to grow into some abnormal lump just on my left side and she assured me they would "spread out" once they got bigger and because I sleep on my left side the most, they settle down there, so whatever. 

I wish I could have heard them for longer, but Nurse Lady was like, "okay, they're both doing really good" and she headed out. Dr. Mac came in and said that I was doing great and the babies had good growth and he was proud that I had gained 2 pounds (7 pounds total!). He proceeded to tell me that all of my bloodwork (from when Dracul-Nurse drained half my blood the last time) came back excellent and that I didn't have hepatitis (that's good), syphilis (that's good, too), and that my German measles shot I had when I was 5 is still working (I was worried about that...those measles, man, I'm telling you). He then mentioned that since David and I both have negative blood-types that I won't have to have the Rh shot. And I said, "See, two negatives make a positive." But, nobody got it. I thought it was funny...at least in my head.  

ANYWAYS. Before the heartbeats and the blood talk, we met with Nurse Lady to update my charts and progress. She was going through my file on the computer and my name came up and under that was "Twins" and "Due Date" with the information filled in. But beside "Twins" it just said "Mono/Di." Nurse Lady stopped and kind of looked confused for a second and then looked at us and said..."Is that what y'all are naming them...Mono and Di?" Then I looked confused like..."Seriously?" And then realized what was going on and said, "No no no, that's the type of twins they are. Mono/Di. We don't know if they're boys or girls yet." And she sat back with the BIGGEST sigh of relief and said, "Ooooooooooooooooh, HONEY...I was about to SAY. I was thinking, 'Di is a good name, but MONO??' I thought y'all was crazy folks or something...naming your kid Mono. Whew...that's a relief." So, we laughed about Mono and Di...the twins. It's easier to say than Charleston and Bermuda, for sure. But, we already have names picked out. Now we just got to find out if they've got the stuff or not. 

Adventures with Zofran

Zofran came with me to the beach. I didn't want to take him because he packs so much for trips, but he insisted in case I needed him. So, along he came and he didn't take up too much room. We ended up having a great time together and I only needed him once. 

We ate at a nice seafood restaurant. I got crab-stuffed roasted chicken with rice and corn and Zofran got chicken fingers. Who goes to a nice seafood restaurant and gets chicken fingers (other than my sister)? Oh well. 

Since David couldn't be there, Zofran watched the sunset with me. It was beautiful.

We laid out for awhile and got some good sun.

Zofran wanted me to bury him in the sand and make him into a merman, but I reminded him, "Remember what lurks under the surface of our sugary white sands?" (He had a traumatic experience with sand crabs a few years ago...it was very difficult for him...doesn't like to talk about it.) So, when my feet got burned and I was done tanning, he got up on the bamboo mat and laid out some more.

At night, we curled up with Stephen Lawhead's Hood. I think that's going to be a good book. We're excited about finishing it. 

The water was so clear and felt wonderful, so we swam a lot.

The waves got to be a little too much for Zofran, so we headed back up a little bit to build a drip castle. 

I wish I had a picture of our finished drip castle. It was fantastic. But alas, just as I predicted, Bratty McPunkerson – the 4-year old son of the family gathered next to us on the beach – decided our castle would look better if he wallowed all around in it, so he did...whilst his family was watching and laughing at how cute he was. I thought it'd be extra cute if he trotted on over to where I was sitting...and tripped into the sand pit I had thoughtfully dug for him. Just as a side note, folks...it's never cute to let your kid be a brat. Some people like their sand castles, so teach them at an early age that stepping on other people's sand castles will make people like me collect sand crabs and train them to wait in the dungeons of the castles for the unsuspecting feet of kids who step on aforementioned castles. I know kids will be kids, but don't encourage them to do it...because I, along with my army of sand crab minions, will be waiting.  

Anyways. 

The beach was a lot of fun and I'm glad Zofran came with me!

Gals, Le Beach, and Guys In Red Speedos

Wednesday night, I drive South to my parents' house and then on to the beach in the morning to meet up with David's mom (Mom2) and sisters (LauraGrace and Rebecca...I call them Gray and Bex in my head cuz it's rock star) for an all-gal's beach retreat. It was sooo much fun. My shoulders and the tops of my feet are saying ouch right now, but I don't listen to them. I listen to the call of the sun. This was the first time in about 2 months that I didn't feel nauseated at least part of the day. I think it was a mixture of the fact that I'M FINALLY GETTING OVER IT and the amazing perfectness of the beach. The beach heals everything. 

So, here's some pictures. Y'all know I like to take pictures of waves and feet, so...there are some of those. And it was getting dark and I hate flashes, so these are kind of grainy. 

This is Umbry...our umbrella. He provided us with some good shade. 

This is Mom2 (on the right) and LG (on the left). And Rebecca in the hat. 

Our little beach station. 

Bex taking some pictures.

Me, the twins, LauraGrace, Rebecca and Mom2 built a fabulous drip castle. 

Ignore the chub. It was an all-girls vacation and I can wear whatever I want.

Shelling. We found some really good ones. 

We were shelling and we look up and see this oddity. Were they European, were they on a swim team, were they just ridiculous? I'm going to go with D. All of the above. I think I have a closer (stalker) picture...let me see...

Yes. Yes, I do.

Ahhh...le beach....

Ahhh...le beach on my feets...