Advice

At the outlet mall this past weekend, I was in Gap and, of course, I meandered on over to the baby section...gooing and smiling like a goob at the little girls' clothes. A lady walked up and asked if I needed a bag to carry my stuff (I had piled a mountain of clothes over my shoulder to free my hands so I could manhandle those adorable baby clothes). I politely declined saying I was about to try these on and that I was just browsing. She asked if I had kids. In my head, I thought it'd be funny to say, "These are kids' clothes?!" But she was super sweet, so I didn't. I said, "Yes...we have twin girls," and explained how they were at home with my aunt, uncle, and cousin. She said, "Oh wow, I bet you have your hands full." I nodded and smiled (and inwardly sighed...yes, so very full). We talked a little more and she asked to see some pictures, so I pulled out my phone and showed her some. I mentioned/shamelessly advertised I had taken these for my blog and she asked about Bogue & Weejer. I just said it was full of random junk and she said, "I bet you offer a lot of parenting advice, huh?" I thought for a minute and responded, "Actually, not really. I talk a lot about the girls, but I'm not the greatest advice giver." We talked a tad more and then I tried on my clothes and bought a super fabulous little jacket for the Fall.

Another gal has asked before why I don't write more about parenting. If you want me to, I will, but it'll seriously end up like this..."Don't let your kids tan on the roof." I'm a parent, but I'm not a parenting expert. To be honest, I don't think anybody is. Yes, I am more of an expert on children than someone who doesn't have children. I am more of an expert on twins than someone who doesn't have twins. But that doesn't make me the ultimate expert. I like the word "ultimate." ULTIMATE EXTREME. Sounds like an energy drink....one you should not give to your children...there's another bit of advice for ya.

I do the best I can with my kids and I know what works best for us, but that doesn't mean the same will work for another parent. If anybody ever asks me a question about babies, I'll give them the best answer I've got, but I'm not going to throw "advice" out there. I think it's all trial and error...you learn as you go. Just to clarify, that means, "Let's see if little Johnny will go down for his nap on his own," not "Let's see if little Johnny can reach the gas pedals so he can take himself to daycare."

Just like everyone everywhere in the world has always said, no two children are alike. Even twins. You have to tailor things for babies...not clothes, silly...like, schedules and stuff. I've been incredibly fortunate that the twins have just about the same schedule...praise God. It's hard working full-time and taking care of the girls, but they take naps together about half of the time and they entertain each other, so I'm able to survive. They're pretty awesome. But being on a schedule doesn't always work for everybody.

We've never rocked the girls to sleep. From day one, we've put them down on their own and yeah, at the beginning, we had to go and pick them up and pat their backs, but only for a short time. And now, they play for a bit and go right to sleep. Same with naps...on their own. That's been a huge blessing. But, you know, that doesn't work for everybody. I can tell you what we did to help that happen, but your kid may hate it and inevitably hate me for telling you about it and I don't like it when babies hate me. They get feisty and they spit things...like little angry camels.

Growing up, there was no such thing as Time Out in our house. Instead, there was The Wooden Spoon and a Thigh or Butt Cheek. Spankings worked on us. It didn't always work on some of our friends. Time Out worked for them. We called it Pansy Hour, because we were like, "You gotta man up and take the whoopin', Freddie." But Freddie was devastated when he was in Pans–I mean, Time Out. Same with babies. No, I do not mean you should put your babies in Time Out. I'm just saying it's different for each one.

I've had people tell me left and right that I "need" to do this or that with my kids. I need to play French videos for them. I need to enroll them in baby dance classes. I need to take them up in a hot air balloon before they turn a year old. It's so weird, because all this "need" stuff wasn't around a 50 years ago and those people turned out okay. My great-grandmother tied her kids to trees with ropes around the waist so she could work out in the cotton fields. My grandfather is one of the smartest people you will ever meet. Tied to a tree...yeah. I'm just saying that people are going to give you all this advice about the things you should be doing with your babies, but you do what you know is best for them. You're a good parent. Or if you're pregnant, planning, adopting, or just hanging out with other folks' kids...you're fine. People will always bombard you with information and advice...most of it is well-meant. But no one is a expert on your kid as much as you are. Love them. Spend time with them. Put your family first. Your kids are gonna be fine. That's my advice. Oh WAIT, feed them. Don't forget that.

I don't offer advice (unless you ask for it) because the only kids I'm an expert on are mine and I'm pretty sure the chances of you having a clone of one of my kids are slim to none. That would be pretty fantastic, though, huh. We would be in magazines and stuff. They'd make a Lifetime movie about us. The Twins and the Clone and the Beautiful Women Who Bore Them. Oh, but wait...then they'd want to do tests on the girls and send them into space...no, nevermind. Don't have a clone of my kid.