I Rattle. I Roar.

I am the king.

The king of the jungle.

The baby jungle.

I roam fearlessly.

I survey my domain...my kingdom.

For I am king. A rattle king.

I traverse rugged mountains with ease.

I wade effortlessly through the inundating rapids.

I fear nothing. All fear me. But alas...

I am a good king.

Those within my realm, those beneath me, those I protect...

They turn their eyes...

For they cannot withstand the enrapturing brilliance for which my splendor calls.

My voice.

My somber, sonorous tone.

Grown men weep. Women grow faint. Bones shatter.

Upon hearing it.

I roar.

Shake.

Rattle.

Roar.

I am the harbinger of havoc.

And doom.

To those who would bring harm to the two I protect.

The two, fat two. My pride.

Their hands take hold of mine.

We run through the fields.

Mirth and laughter dancing alongside.

A soft breeze carrying the white, wispy smiles of the dandelion...higher...higher.

Higher.

Until the last smile leaves. With a wink.

Mountains of diapers.

Rivers of Similac.

My domain.

I am the king.

I protect my two.

My fa---awwwwww, man. Seriously? Is that poop? Thanks. Thanks for wiping it on me. And yeah, there's vomit. Squash? Apricots? What IS that? Ohh...just stop. Okay. Great. Thanks. All in my mane. Awesome.

I am the king.

I rattle.

I roar.